Reap What You Sow
by Constable Paperbag
Summary: It was an accident. There was no doubt about that. But when Ruby killed Neo after a failed assassination attempt she is plagued by nightmares, the result of her guilty conscience eating her alive. She's a killer. A murderer. Nothing like the hero she set out to be. Tormented by memories of that fateful night, she turns to her friends for comfort, lest she be forever haunted.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, lookie here. Another story enters the fray.**

 **This is something I've been planning out for a while now. I wanted to give a crack at writing Ruby for once, and wondered what kind of struggle I could give her. I knew I wanted something dark, something she caused that would last with her. This came to mind. Horror is my favourite genre and I wanted to try my hand with it again. I was gonna release it later in the summer, but since Neo might be coming back in V6, I wanted to release this idea quickly before canon changes things. So here we are.**

 **Anyway, I'm done talking. Enjoy:**

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 **Cover art: dishwasher1910**

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Ruby smiled when she heard the final person awake - her sister - finally start snoring. Everyone was now officially asleep, leaving only her awake. She could finally sneak off now.

She got out of bed and tiptoed across the hallway, wincing as the wooden floorboards creaked under her. She hoped nobody would hear that. Just because she couldn't sleep didn't mean everyone else had to be awake too. She slightly envied her friends who could fall asleep so easily. They could just close their eyes and they'd be out like a light in seconds.

She was a naturally energetic person, even during the hardest of times. It kept her on her toes, but boy oh boy, did it make going to sleep difficult. How could she sleep with all that energy buzzing inside her? Going to bed at a reasonable hour was always a difficult task for her. If she couldn't find a way to work off her energy, sleeping would be impossible.

As such, she often went for late night walks. She would never go too far, just far enough to make her feel tired coming home. This was nothing new - everyone knew she did this. She even did it when she was on the road to Mistral. Much had changed since the fall of Beacon, but her midnight strolls weren't one of them. So much had happened in the past few days. Her body felt like it was on constant high alert. She had a lot of energy to get off her chest.

Tonight was one of those walking nights. She had the energy, and the only cure was a stroll in the moonlight.

She grabbed her cloak off the rack, put on her boots, quietly shut the door behind her and stood outside. The crisp night air rolled over the Mistralian mountains and greeted her with its icy touch. She shivered upon its contact, but smiled and pulled up her hood. The air felt good. Perfect walking weather.

She gazed up at the shattered moon beaming down on her. She let out a sigh of content. It looked especially beautiful tonight in the cloudless sky with the stars twinkling all around it. Daytime was all well and good, but it was only at night when the heavens truly came to life. And tonight was shaping up to be a good one.

And so she began walking.

She didn't really know where she was going. She had no direction in mind, as she often let her feet do most of the thinking on these walks. She settled for just walking around Haven Academy. The school had a lot of ground to cover, and she had all night to do it. They weren't leaving for Atlas just yet. Not until they had fully recovered from the last battle. This week was all about relaxation. God knows they needed it.

She hummed a tune as she explored the grounds. All was still, as it usually was at night. Barely a peep could be heard within the academy's grounds, aside from the faint gust of wind blowing over. Haven looked so lonely at this hour. Without any students and mostly shrouded in shadow, the academy looked like an abandoned castle waiting to be explored. She felt like a brave adventurer discovering a forgotten relic of time. By the end of the night, she would've uncovered all its secrets!

Yeah, she tended to daydream a bit on her own. Forgive a girl for having an imagination that wandered almost as much as her at night.

The air was cool enough to see her breath, coming out as a faint trail of mist every time she exhaled. The ground felt right underneath her feet, crisp and frosty. Her footsteps made crunching noise as she walked along the icy ground. It was a cold night, probably too cold for most people.

Not her.

Freedom came with the night. She felt like she lived in a world without boundaries when the sun went down. While the rest of the world slept, she was able to skip through the world and travel anywhere she wanted without anyone realising. There was no one to tell her how far to go, or when she should be back by. The world was hers for the taking. This must have been how Zwei felt whenever they took him out for walks.

Well, not that she was comparing herself to a dog, even if he was the best dog ever. She just… argh, she just felt free is all-

A snapping noise broke her out of her musings.

She turned around quickly. The noise sounded like it came from behind her. But when she looked, no one was there. The air grew more chilly all of a sudden, enough to send goosebumps down her skin. Cautiously, she turned her gaze forward again and resumed walking.

It was probably nothing. A bird stepping on a leaf or something. But she was a huntress. Her senses were always turned up to eleven. In her line of work, you could never be too careful.

Her silver eyes darted around for any potential threats. The moonlight gave nothing away as its beams painted the environment with its celestial glow. Shadows hugged the walls, concealing any hidden dangers that lay within them. Not a sound could be heard, other than the gentle thud of her footsteps. Any other time she may have found this peaceful, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched.

It was quiet. Almost too quiet.

It was at times like this she was glad she always had Crescent Rose with her.

 _*crunch*_

She flipped around with her weapon at the ready. That noise was too exact to be a coincidence. Just like before though, she was greeted by nothing but shadows.

"Hello?" she called out. No response, but that didn't mean she was alone. "Is that you, Yang?" She started to carefully make her way back to the courtyard. If she was to be attacked at night, she'd rather be on familiar ground.

The shadows seemed like they were closing in on her. Every little sound had her on edge. Even the faint noise of wind blowing was enough to make her trigger finger twitch. She took a deep breath and forced herself to get a grip. Whatever this was, she had faced worse.

"Look, whoever this is, can you just come out? I'm really not-"

The bright gleam of silver shining from above was all the warning she was given.

She barely had enough time to roll out of the way as a blade dropped down on her. She recovered from her doge and immediately unsheathed Crescent Rose, reflexes kicking in. The shadows concealed her attacker, but the moonlight betrayed the blade, causing it to gleam in the darkness.

She could see it had dug its way through the ground. For a moment she shuddered as she imagined it to be her head, had she not been quick enough.

"Who are you?" Ruby cried. The attacker said nothing. "I said, who are you?" She cocked her weapon as a warning. "Don't make me fight you."

The sound of heels could be heard in the shadows and the blade was getting closer. Ruby aimed down the scope with her finger on the trigger. She was ready for anything now. Whoever this was, they would not get the drop on her again.

The shadows parted and Ruby's jaw dropped at the sight before her. Walking out of the shadows was a short girl, somehow even shorter than her, with multi-coloured hair; a mixture of brown, pink, and white. Her eyes were mismatched too, one pink, the other brown. An iconic look, one that anyone would remember.

And Ruby remembered alright. All too well.

"It's you," Ruby whispered. There was only one person with that colour scheme. But this person standing before her?

It wasn't Neo. It couldn't have been Neo.

The Neo she knew was a cocky, sadistic yet playful person who's arrogance almost matched Torchwick's. She was like Yang, only without morals. She enjoyed fighting and hurting people, treating it like it was a game. Ruby remembered the time she had fought her and Torchwick together. She had been smiling the entire time, even when she was pummeling her. It was all a joke to her. She never stopped smiling.

But she wasn't smiling now. Ruby wished she was smiling.

The moonlight revealed her snarling, venomous face in clear detail. Her teeth were bared like a rabid dog, with even a small line of drool leaking out between them. She was gripping her blade so tightly that the handle looked like it was ready to snap under the pressure. There was no trace of humour or cockiness in her demeanour. Only the savage bloodlust that could be seen burning in her mismatched eyes.

Savage. That was the best word to describe Neo right now. Without Roman holding her leash, she was little more than a wild animal. Ruby had seen a lot recently, but the murderous glare she was sending her shook her to the core. Not even Cinder Fall had looked so hateful.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. The last time they saw each other was during the attack on Beacon. But that was in Vale. Had she really travelled all the way to Mistral to find her? What for?

Neo glared as if the question was an insult to her. The blade in her hand trembled from the magnitude of her rage. She was a volcano of hate, ready to explode from all the rage boiling inside her.

And then realisation hit her like a slap in the face.

Roman had also been in Vale on the night of the attack. That same night when that Griffon had…

Neo hadn't been there to witness his death. All she knew was that two people were on that airship, and only one walked away. To the uninitiated, it seemed obvious who was responsible for his death. Roman Torchwick was dead, and Ruby Rose was all that was left.

It had been several months since that attack. More than enough time for Neo to allow her hate to consume her, plan her revenge, and finally track her down and ambush her.

It had all been leading up to this.

"It wasn't me," Ruby said softly. There seemed little point in reasoning with her, but she had to try. "Torchwick's death, it wasn't me-"

Neo's eyes flashed with malice at the sound of his name. She pounced at her again, her blade aiming for her throat. Ruby yelped and quickly blocked the strike, jumping out of the way to avoid another. The ground was slippery and she nearly lost her balance. Her legs wobbled as she tried recovering from her dodge. It was like trying to fight on an ice rink.

"Wait, wait!" Ruby cried in between trying not to slip. "It doesn't have to be this way. I didn't kill Torchwick! It wasn't me!"

If she were capable, Neo would've been growling right now. The mere mention of his name caused her to speed up. Unlike her, she had no trouble fighting on the slippery surface. If anything she used it to her advantage, sliding herself forward into Ruby's guard. Ruby, however, was having trouble even standing on two feet.

Neo offered no mercy. She was upon her again, her blade hacking wildly as she tried slashing her to ribbons. Her blade moved like a silver blur in the night air, but gone was the style and technique she used during that night on the airship. She was bloodthirsty, her only desire to see her target dead at her feet. She hadn't lost her skill, but she wasn't holding anything back. Not like last time.

Ruby could barely keep up. In between trying not to slip and not getting hacked to pieces, her heart pounded burning adrenaline through her as she tried recalling every bit of training to keep her alive.

But she was unprepared for this. There was no way she could fight her in her current state. If she stayed here she would die.

She had to get away! Get help! Anything but stay here!

When the next strike came for her neck, she ducked under it and activated her semblance. Running aimlessly, she focused on getting as far away from the psychotic girl as possible. The world spun as she shot like a bullet through the air. Windows smashed and furniture shook when she passed by them. She had never moved so fast before in her life.

She broke out of her crimson torpedo and continued sprinting on foot. Her lungs were ablaze and the cold air stung when she breathed it in. She would have collapsed had it not been for the overwhelming fear that caused her mind to scream at her to keep running. She could stop when she was safe. Just keep running!

And then panic claimed her again as she looked around her surroundings. She had no idea where she was! She had been so focused on running away, she hadn't paid attention to where she was running. She didn't recognise this part of the school. It was all a maze to her.

 _Keep running!_ Her mind screamed. _Keep running!_

There was no time to freeze. She forced herself to run even harder than before.

And then the world went spinning.

"Ahh!" Ruby yelled as she tumbled on the ground, smacking hard against the cold hard stone. In her haste, she slipped on an icy patch. Her body flew forward and crashed into the ground. Ruby skidded to a halt next to one of the buildings.

She blinked away the blurriness in her vision. Everything hurt. Her clothes were slightly torn, her legs were killing her, her heart felt like it was about to burst, and now she had a stinging pain in her head. She had never felt so tired before. Her heart was gonna burst out of her chest from how hard it was beating. She needed a moment. Just a second to catch her breath.

Then her eyes widened in panic as she swore she saw a gleam of silver against the moonlight. Had Neo caught up with her? Where was she?

No. She couldn't stop here. She had to keep moving.

She tried standing up but whimpered as one of her legs wobbled beneath her. She wasn't running anymore in her state. She was too tired and too bruised up. Her only other option was hiding. She limped her way to the door of one of the buildings and slunk inside it, using Crescent Rose as support.

She tried being as sneaky as possible as she limped through the entrance. It looked like she had entered some kind of lecture hall, as there was a desk at the centre with lots of chairs surrounding it. It was a wide, big area. Not as big as the grand hall, but still plenty of space to move around in case she had to make an exit. Chances are she probably would.

She stopped limping for a moment and leaned against one of the walls, eventually slinking down it. The adrenaline was wearing off. She was so tired. Her body felt like a heavy burden dragging her down. She sat crumpled on the floor and used what little time she had left to get her breath back.

The world felt so slow now without her heart beating a mile a minute. Everything was coming to a still, like she was locked in a single second of time. And in that second, she understood the weight of her situation.

It was enough to get her heart pounding again.

Oh God, what a mess. She was being hunted like some animal. She had no way of running, no real ways of protecting herself. She had purposefully left her scroll behind in the house because she didn't think she'd be out for too long. She couldn't contact anyone. Her friends felt worlds apart from her now.

Was this it? Was she going to die?

Her small hands tightened into fists. Of course she wasn't! That was just her nerves talking. Neo was certainly dangerous, but this wasn't the first time her life had been in danger. She could and would get through this. She'd only lose if she let her fear get the better of her.

She just had to find a way to get back to her friends. It wouldn't be easy with her bad leg, but if she could sneak past Neo, she might be able to reach them. With everyone else backing her up, they'd chase her away in no time. She just needed a plan of action.

She heard something on the roof.

She stood up immediately and switched Crescent Rose into its sniper mode. The noise had been a faint, shuffling sound. Could've been Neo. Could've been something else. All she knew was whatever caused it would be in for a nasty surprise if it reared its head. Her leg may have been hurt, but her aim was as good as ever.

She circled on the spot as she aimed down the sight. She heard no other noise up there. She kept an ear out for any other sound that would give her target away. Nothing. Was that Neo trying to spook her, or was it something else entirely? There was no way of knowing. She hated that.

"Show yourself," she mumbled quietly to herself, growling her frustrations to calm herself down. Trying to aim at an enemy you couldn't see was the worst. There was no telling where they could strike. She considered herself lucky that her hand was still steady despite her rapidly beating heart.

Her ears twitched as she heard what sounded like the door creaking open. She whipped around and saw it was still closed from before. She stared at it for a good solid minute, waiting for any surprises. It didn't even budge.

Her eyes leered. Why did a building have to make so much noise on its own? Whenever it happened at home, her dad always said it was "just the house settling." Settling for what, being a scary jerk? And in this case, any noise that wasn't made by her could've easily meant danger.

She slowly backed away from the door, making her way past the desk-

\- then cried out in agony as her good leg got pierced.

Dropping to the floor as her now useless legs buckled underneath her, she watched as Neo stepped out from her hiding spot under the desk, looking as murderous as ever. Her blade glistened with her blood and left behind a small red trail on the floor as she walked slowly towards her victim.

Ruby hissed in pain as she dragged her body away. She was making a red trail of her own as blood leaked out of the hole in her leg. How was that woman quiet? Neo had somehow got the drop on her when her aura was down. She hadn't even heard her come in! Had she always been in the room?

She looked back at her attacker and her blood ran cold. Behind that fiery gaze was a hint of malicious delight sparkling in those mismatched eyes. Neo had found her prize and wanted her dead, but that devious twinkle spoke of something more. She would make her suffer before she died. She could feel it in her gaze.

Neo dragged her blade across the floor for emphasis, delighting in her victim's fear.

"I'm not your enemy!" Ruby cried, a last-ditch effort to get her to listen to reason. "You don't have to do this."

If Neo was even listening to her, she didn't show it. Her walking space neither slowed down or sped up. But her intent didn't change a bit.

"We're going after the ones responsible! You should come with us! We can help you get revenge- _ack!_ "

Neo wouldn't hear any of it. She kicked her roughly in the stomach and rolled her onto her back. She then firmly planted her boot onto her chest and twisted the heel further into her. Ruby's groans of pain quickly died as her breath caught in her throat from the sight of Neo's blade raised in the air.

Grinning ferally, Neo slashed down at her with her blade. Ruby weakly held Crescent Rose up to defend herself, but she was barely trying to properly block her attacks now. If she were capable, Neo would've been laughing at her work. She was hacking and slashing at her like a demented butcher.

Ruby hissed and cried when the blade stuck her arms, stomach and chest. It was less her body Neo was trying to cut through and more her aura. And she was doing a good job of it with how fast she was slashing. It was still painful either way, something Neo took clear delight in.

"Stop it" Ruby shouted, but her words fell on deaf ears. "We can help you! Just listen to me!"

And then with a quick jab to her chest again, her body crackled red. The ever obvious reminder that her aura was spent. Her last line of defence.

Neo's eyes twinkled as she raised the blade above her head. Its sharp head was aimed directly down at her chest.

Her breathing stopped. Her body froze. Everything felt cold and she was unable to move. She couldn't even blink or look away.

All the colour in Ruby's world suddenly peeled away. The scenery faded and even Neo herself disappeared. There was nothing to even hear anymore. She existed in a black box where the only other occupant was the blade staring down at her, twinkling with her blood.

A small drop of it worked its way down the metal and ended at the tip, hanging on by a thread in front of her watering eyes. Deep in the red, she swore she saw visions of her friends and family. Memories of all the good times she had with them. All those happy and heartbreaking moments. Memories she cherished every day. Her life. Her life was what she saw in that small, tiny droplet.

Then the drop fell to the floor and landed so faintly it could hardly be heard.

This wasn't fair. She wasn't ready to leave it all behind. This wasn't how things were meant to end.

She was not dying over a mistake!

Neo raised the blade a little higher, ready to plunge it down and pierce her heart.

Ruby's fingers tightened over Crescent Rose.

She was not dying here!

"NO!" she screamed, squeezing her eyes shut and using the last bit of her strength to swing her scythe. The weapon swung upwards and landed with a thud against the floor. Her arms hung suspended in the air for a second before collapsing back down. They laid sprawled out by her sides, exposing her body and leaving her completely defenceless.

With her eyes still shut, she miserably awaited whatever happened next. That was it. That's all she had left. This fight - if one could even call it that - was over. She had used up all of her energy and was now completely drained. All the fire and determination to live was gone. That last bit of adrenaline had been spent and left her exhausted. She had trouble feeling bad about it. She lacked the energy to feel regret. In a way, she accepted her fate now, as horrible as it was. It's not like she could do anything to stop it now.

She gave a silent apology to all those she would leave behind and braced herself. She just hoped it would be quick. She didn't need any more pain tonight.

And then she felt something warm drip onto her face. It moved slowly down her cheek and smelt like copper. She felt several more droplets drip onto her, one even landing on her eyelid. Her eyes finally opened and she wiped away whatever it was.

Her fingers were red when she looked at them.

She felt something twist in her stomach as she looked up.

Neo was staring at her wide-eyed. Her grin was gone and her face was growing paler by the second. Her hand still gripped tightly on the blade but her arm was shaking violently, like something was preventing her killing her. The girl looked confused and frightened at the same time, but it wasn't her face that drew Ruby's attention.

It was her neck…

A thin red line had somehow appeared on it. It stretched like a crimson smile across her pale throat. A smile that was getting wider the more she stared at it. Blood could be seen leaking from it, and for once it wasn't her own.

That's what made it horrifying.

With a gasp, she pulled herself away from the assassin. Without support, Neo dropped to her knees. Her hand immediately came up to cover her throat in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding. A futile effort, as the blood easily seeped through the gaps in her fingers. She stared at the growing bloodstain on the floor with wide, bulging eyes.

Ruby sat frozen as she watched the display before her. Her own neck tingled as she saw Neo claw at hers. Her fingers dug into her ruined flesh like she was trying to pull something out. Her mouth was open and her tongue was sticking out. She was chocking. Chocking on her own blood. Yet still she remained silent, even as she writhed in pain and clawed at herself. The only noise to be heard was the soft pitter-patter of blood hitting the floor.

Ruby once again found herself unable to blink. It was too horrible to watch, yet too shocking to turn away from.

What was happening? Did she do this? She couldn't have. That swipe had been a last resort. Neo's aura should've easily protected her. It wasn't meant to…

As her mind swam trying to figure it out, Neo craned her head up slowly to look at her. Her hand and her clothes were stained with the blackest shade of red she had ever seen. A bit of blood got into her hair, adding a red tinge to the multiple colours. Ruby's senses were assaulted by the heavy scent and taste of metal thick in the air.

Her face…

It was a mask of pure hate and pain. Her features creased and stretched into the most venomous expression she was capable of. Her blood-stained teeth were gritted as she snarled as far as her lips would allow her. Her eyes wobbled as angry tears streamed down her face, dripping into the crimson puddle on the floor. Her gaze locked with hers as she drilled her final message into her brain. She didn't speak a word, and yet she had never been louder.

 _Her fault!_

Then her body gave a more violent shake than before. Her eyes rolled upwards into the back of her skull and she collapsed, her head landing face-first in the bloody puddle with a soft squelch. Her struggling finally ceased as her kicking and clawing came to an almost peaceful stop. Occasionally she twitched, but that too ended after a few seconds. Her body finally rested against the cold, crimson floor of the classroom.

And then she returned to silence.

One minute became two. Two became three. They passed by unnoticed. Time had stopped for both of them.

It was unclear how long Ruby had sat staring there. The whole thing had happened so fast and yet so slowly. It was over before it had even begun and yet every detail was captured perfectly in her head. Her mind replayed the events again as she looked at the motionless body lying on the ground.

There was a noise coming from somewhere. It sounded like a faint sigh being drawn out slowly. It was only when she felt her chest heave did she realise it was coming from her. She had been holding her breath all this time and was only now letting it out. The world became clearer as she did, the body more visible.

The blood more vibrant.

 _Her fault!_

She slowly stood up off the ground. She still limped, but could no longer feel the pain. She couldn't feel anything anymore. Her whole body felt numb. She was aware of the growing cold sensation in her heart as she made her way towards Neo, but she had trouble focusing on it. On anything except the body in front of her.

She crouched down over Neo's still form. A weak, nervous smile formed on her face. "H-Hey," she said softly, gently patting her shoulder. "You're okay. Just use your aura."

Neo didn't respond. She didn't even react to her hand touching her shoulder.

"Come on," she chuckled nervously. "That looked like it hurt. If you don't use it, I'll have to wake Jaune up to help you. He doesn't like being woken up at this time."

She felt something warm pool around her fingers. Looking down, she saw her fingers were dipping in a trail of blood coming from Neo's body. It was like the liquid was reaching out to her with fingers of its own. Even when she took a few steps back they still stretched out for her.

Ruby's gaze turned for a moment towards Crescent Rose. Her beloved weapon was lying at a small distance away from Neo's body. Fresh blood - _Neo's blood_ \- coated the blade, giving its already red paint a deeper shade of crimson.

Her heart sank. It was menacing to look at. Her own weapon, the weapon she loved with all her heart… now looked frightening in her eyes. There was too much red on it. It was unfamiliar to her. It didn't look like the weapon she used to protect people anymore. It looked evil. She didn't want to get near it.

 _Her fault!_

The blood on Ruby's fingers was already starting to dry. It was shocking how well it blended in with the rest of her. Ruby always wore red. She carried a red weapon. Now even her skin was taking on a red tinge.

Red really was her colour.

 _Her fault!_

The room was spinning. Her mind was becoming hazy. She felt like she was going to be sick.

 _Her fault!_

She dropped to her knees again. She was being crushed. Reality was smothering her. Everywhere she looked she saw red. Red over there. Red on her skin. So much red.

 _Her fault!_

This was a nightmare! This was a nightmare!

 _HER FAULT!_

Ruby opened her mouth and screamed.

[/]

Ruby's absence from the house was already a bad sign. But it was that scream that made it even worse.

Qrow charged through the empty school grounds with the sound of that scream ringing in his ears. It was Ruby. His niece's voice was unmistakable. That scream, however, was something he had never heard from her before. Pure fear. Pure dread. It would leave her vocal chords shredded from how powerful it was.

And when he got his hands on the _bastard_ who dared make her sound like that, they'd be singing a similar tune.

It sounded like it came from one of the buildings. He followed a trail of broken glass to a building with a few bloodstains outside its doors. He had found his mark. He burst in immediately with his scythe at the ready.

The stench was what hit him first - metallic and foul. A smell he was unfortunately quite used to. Death was in the air. He feared the worst of his niece until he saw the cause of it - a small, multicoloured-haired girl lying in a pool of blood.

"What the hell?" he murmured. He crouched down at turned the girl over. For once he was lucky he hadn't drunk anything yet, otherwise his stomach would be even weaker to handle this. The unlucky lady's throat was shredded! A huge cut had torn her neck open and blood was still leaking from the wound. Her mismatched eyes were vacant and glossy. Her mouth was hanging open slightly from when her final breath escaped her.

He grimaced. What a shitty way to die. He had seen worse, but fucking hell. He could only imagine what her final moments must have been like.

But who the hell was this woman? What was she doing here? And who killed her?

Looking up, he saw Crescent Rose lying off to the side. Ruby never went anywhere without that weapon. That scythe was as much her family as he was. She would never carelessly leave it in some random room where anyone could take it. So what was it doing here?

His eyes lit up when he saw the blood dripping off of it.

No… surely not…

He heard a faint sniffling sound behind him. Turning around, he saw his niece at the far end of the room. His heart sank. She was curled up in a ball and shaking like a leaf. She didn't look at him as he got closer to her - her eyes were locked on the corpse. Her normally bright and joyful silver eyes were wide with horror and misery. It was obvious she had been crying; her face was red, blotchy and covered in tears.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the only reason why it was red...

"Ruby?" he whispered. She didn't respond. Cautiously, he reached out to her. God, she looked as white as a sheet. She was always a pale girl, but never to the point of looking sickly. "Ruby?" he tried whispering again.

This time she did look up. She looked like she had seen a ghost. "U-U-Uncle Qrow?" she stammered. Her teeth chattered in her mouth as she struggled out the words. Her voice sounded hoarse, no doubt from that ear-splitting scream from earlier.

"Yeah, it's me," he said gently, carefully putting a hand on her trembling shoulder. It was hard to ignore the blood on her hands and face, but he did his best.

"She... she..."

His heart broke listening to her stutter. "Look, whatever this was, it's over, alright?" he said reassuringly. "You're gonna be okay, kiddo. You're gonna be okay."

Her mouth wobbled as the tears started flowing again. "It was an accident!" she wailed, suddenly throwing herself at the man and burying her sobs in his shoulder. She held him in a vice grip and he gently returned it, rubbing her back to calm her down.

A long sigh of relief left him. She was alive. Traumatized, but alive. After everything that had happened recently, he had feared the worst when he heard that scream. It put his heart at ease to see her still breathing, despite the circumstances. She was alive. That was all that mattered.

His relief was short-lived as he carried her out of the room, paying one last glance at the girl who clearly wasn't. He had no idea what the hell happened here and he wasn't about to ask. Not yet, at least. Not when she was like this. Perhaps tomorrow, if she was in the right frame of mind. Right now she needed a hot bath, a warm bed, and a loving uncle and friends who would never leave her.

He'd handle the body himself, and the blood. They were all just kids up there. They didn't need to see this.

Kids…

He looked down at his crying niece again. How many times had he forgotten that she was still a child playing a game for grown-ups? It was hard to remember when you were too busy being proud of them, watching as they grew and matured at a stupidly fast rate.

How easy that illusion was shattered when they felt weightless in your arms, crying themselves to sleep. No matter which way he looked at it, Ruby Rose was still a child.

A child with her first kill.

"Goddammit," he sighed miserably. They really did grow up too quickly.

* * *

 **Laughinglefou's gonna kill me.**

 **I'm gonna quickly answer two questions you might have: No, this is not gonna be an edgy fic where Ruby discovers she likes killing. She is quite traumatised by this and I intend to keep it that way. And no, this won't be a long fic either. I have this planned for about 7-8 chapters. I think that's enough for a character study story.**

 **I dunno if Ruby will actually kill anyone in the show, even if by accident. I can see her offing Salem at the end, but not so much anyone else. Then again, I'm sure she's already had her first blood from all those unlucky faunus who fell off the train when she fought them in V2. Maybe she'll just stick with killing faunus? Be on your guard, Tyrian...**

 **Hoowee, that was a dark one. I think I'll work on the next Exxxtra Credit chapter now. Happy Father's Day, and I'll see you in the next one.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Psst. You kids wanna read some chapter 2? Alright, 'ere you go. Don't tell anyone I gave you this though, you hear?**

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 **Cover art - dishwasher1910**

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It was all a blur.

She briefly remembered her friends crowding around her and the look of horror on their faces when they saw her. She heard her uncle's voice. It sounded like he was shouting, telling them all to give her some space. He was probably really loud but she could barely hear him, even though she was right next to him. Everyone sounded muffled over the ringing in her ears.

She remembered slipping into something wet and warm. A pleasant warmth though, one that didn't come with the stink of metal and relaxed her. Perhaps a bath. It soothed her aching body and almost made her fall asleep. That was until she saw tiny red flakes floating in the water. She had crawled out screaming until her voice went hoarse, then wept in the corner of the room until someone came to get her.

She was in her room now. Someone had tucked her into bed. She couldn't remember who. Whoever it was, they had been crying. She could feel their tears hitting her face. When they left the room she heard that person screaming, demanding to know what happened. She heard other noises too, faint murmurs and whispers outside her door. Nothing she could make out.

She was freezing beneath the thick, heavy blankets of her bed. Someone had even given her an extra one, making her practically mummified. It did nothing to help her. Her body rattled and shivered as she felt a numbing chill course through her. With each shaky breath she took, she inhaled more bitter-cold air, freezing her insides and causing her body to tremble.

She was so cold.

No, she was so hot!

Her body was burning up. She was melting under the blankets. She clawed at the thick prison she was trapped under, but she didn't have the strength to remove them. Her mouth hung open parched and dry. Water! She needed water! She was sweating buckets. Her hair drooped down and stuck to her face from the sweat pouring down her. She could see the red tips hanging over her eyes.

 _Red!_

She was freezing!

She was burning!

She was freezing!

Her body twisted from the burning chill coursing through her. Her skull exploded in pain that caused her to wheeze out a weak, almost silent scream. She couldn't move. Her limbs were limp and useless. All she could do was lie there in petrified torture. Everything was on fire. Everything was freezing up. She lay still and absorbed it all. Her resistance and energy left her through the tears leaking out of her eyes.

And then she started seeing things.

Looking up she could see a stain on the ceiling. A single black dot on an otherwise perfectly white surface. It was so small, meaningless. With nothing else to look at though, she focused completely on it. The more she focused, however, the bigger it grew. It spread impossibly fast until it covered the entire ceiling. The once spotless white surface was now a sickening shade of red.

All of a sudden, the ceiling started dripping little red droplets. Each drop that landed on her sent the most burning of chills crashing through her system. They started off falling gently, but soon they fell like rainfall and thundered down on her shivering form. It felt like she was being battered by fists of fire when each drop landed on her vulnerable skin.

Yet still she remained motionless as she drowned under the downpour. Her body, wracked with pain and chills, could do nothing against the crimson tide. Her body was now stained red, her lungs filling up with the foul, burning liquid. She wheezed for air as her head became clouded by pain and dizziness.

But even if she could move, she wouldn't have. Because even if her body was broken, her mind - as weary as it was - was still intact. As she drowned under the downpour, she was harshly reminded why this was happening by visions of earlier. What she had done. What she had become.

She was a monster!

She deserved this!

She deserved to drown!

There was a gentle knock on the door.

She blinked. Suddenly, the downpour stopped. The stain disappeared. The pain in her body left her like it had never been there. Her breathing, which had once been wild and erratic, returned to normal. And slowly, reality took shape again.

The knock came again. Her jaw felt heavy as she tried forming words. "Come in," she croaked. Her voice was weak and quiet, no louder than a soft breeze. She ended up coughing slightly after having said that. Her throat felt tired and worn out.

The door opened and her uncle Qrow walked in. In his hands was a plate of freshly baked cookies. From the steam coming from them, they looked to be straight out of the oven. They looked delicious. It had been too long since she had one of her favourite treats in the world. The chocolate chips decorating them looked so tasty. She imagined what it would be like to sink her teeth into them.

Her stomach didn't even growl. The delicious smell passed over her with no effect. Her senses were numb. Everything was stale now.

She turned her head up to look at him. He looked serious, which was never a good sign. Her uncle always laughed and joked his way through any situation. He was a relaxed man, even when scolding her. It was part of his charm. If he looked as stone-faced as what he did now, it meant that either the world was ending, or someone had done something truly terrible. She knew which one it was now.

He gently placed the plate down on her bedside table. His eyes narrowed when she didn't even look at the plate. She was staring off into space. He sighed and gently sat down on her bed.

"Those are for you," he said softly. "Your friend Ren made them. Kid's a good cook. You should eat them while they're warm."

Her mind sluggishly processed the words. She slowly turned her neck to the cookies by her bedside. They looked delicious and yet so unappetizing. She couldn't even stomach a glass of water right now.

"Do I have to?" she whispered, a question she never thought she would ask. Eating anything now would be punishing on her.

"Yes," he said firmly. "You don't have to eat them all, but you do have to eat one. Even if it's just a small bite."

The thought of doing just that made her want to be sick. "I'm not hungry," she mumbled.

"I know you're not. But you'll eat one anyway. I'm not leaving until you do."

If she had the strength for it, she would've thrown that plate against a wall. She would've screamed and wailed at the top of her lungs. She wasn't eating anything! How could she eat at a time like this? She didn't want to think about eating, drinking, or even breathing. She couldn't.

There was only one thing she could think about.

She slowly turned her head back to him. Her lip started to wobble. "Is she okay?" she croaked. Her heart hammered in her chest and each beat sent cold dread spreading through her. She looked up at him with tearful eyes.

His expression hardened. "Don't think about that," he said quietly. "Just eat."

And just like that, the full weight of her actions came down on her like a ton of bricks.

The dam broke.

"I'm a killer," she sobbed, tears running down her face.

"No!" Qrow barked, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. "No, you're not! Ruby-!"

"I killed her, Uncle Qrow!" Her voice kept seizing up thinking about it. She sounded ragged and almost unintelligible. "I killed her. I'm a murderer. I'm-"

"Enough!" He squeezed her hand tighter. She was too numb to feel any kind of pain. He looked at her with a fierce gaze. "You stop that right now! You are not a murderer, do you understand? Never call yourself that again. Never!"

"How can you say that?" she bellowed. Her vocal chords threatened to tear from how loud her voice was. "You saw her back there! That was because of me! I did that! I'm… I'm a…"

A murderer. A monster. She was all these things and more. She broke down into sobs and couldn't finish her sentence.

Qrow grabbed her head. "Look at me, Ruby. Look at me!" She stopped snivelling for a moment and met his gaze. "I grew up with killers. I lived, ate and fought with them. My whole family were monsters. You are not a killer, Ruby. You are and always will be better than those scum. Always!"

"B-But… but…"

He grabbed one of the cookies and held it in front of her face. "No more words," he said. "You need to eat. One bite, that's all you gotta do. It'll help you… cope."

She stared miserably at the cookie in front of her. It looked like a blurry mess until she blinked back her tears. When her vision was clear, she could see how tasty it looked again. Ren was the best cook in their friendship group. He could cook anything and make it taste good.

She still really didn't want to eat it. It wouldn't help. How could anything help after what she did? She was gonna feel like this for the rest of her life.

Still, with a shaky hand, she hesitantly took the cookie and examined. It did look really tasty. Her mouth wobbled and she took a small, weak bite into it.

Her hunger hit her the moment she swallowed. She wolfed into the cookie, devouring it like a starving animal. When it was gone, she immediately reached for another one and finished it in a similar way. She felt no joy as she ate them. She was desperately trying to focus on the delicious flavour in hopes that it would help her forget.

She didn't have time to lose herself though, as one by one the cookies quickly disappeared.

She looked back at her uncle with crumbs covering her mouth and her face red from crying. She was a mess. A snivelling, sloppy, disgusting mess. She didn't deserve that look of concern he was giving her.

A small smile appeared on his face. He pulled out a tissue and gently wiped off the crumbs. "Did that help?" He asked her.

Her head felt a little clearer now if that's what he meant. Apart from that, no. Far from it.

"Kinda…" she whispered.

"Good. I know it's hard to believe now, but it will help. Can I get you anything else? A glass of milk maybe?"

"N-No thank you." She couldn't remember the last time he had spoken so softly. It made her want to tear up again.

"Alright then." He gave her a moment to let the food settle in her stomach before he became graven of face. "You aren't gonna like this next part, Ruby," he said sadly. "In fact, you're gonna hate it and me for making you do it. If you wanna start shouting at me, fine, but you'll have to do it afterwards."

"What do you want me to do?"

He sucked in a deep breath. "I need you to be honest with me. I need you to tell me everything that happened back there."

Ruby's eyes widened. She scurried away from him and tried hiding her face in her pillow, but he grabbed hold of her before she could.

"Ruby, calm down!" Qrow struggled. "Ruby!"

No, no, no, that was too much! Please don't make her do this!

"I can't!" She wailed.

"You can!"

"Please don't make me," she whimpered, flailing around in his arms. "I don't want to, Uncle Qrow. Please."

"You have to!" He held her arms over her head preventing her from fighting back. "I know it's hard. I don't like this any more than you do, and believe me, I hate myself for making you do this. But you have to tell me. It's important we all understand what happened."

"You'll hate me!" she wailed. "You'll think I'm a monster! Please don't hate me, Uncle Qrow. Please-"

She was silenced by the crushing hug he gave her. He squeezed her tight like his life depended on it. He had never, _never_ , held her like this before. She had only ever gotten hugs like this from her dad or sister. Qrow's affection revolved around head-pats and light teasing. She was motionless in his arms, unsure of what to do.

"Hate you? You think I'd hate you?"

His voice sounded so quiet, so broken. She could've sworn she heard him sob a little. But she saw no tears with his head resting on her shoulder.

His hand rubbed the back of her head. "You are the light of my world," he whispered. "You, your sister and your dad are the only good things I have left. You're my blood, Ruby Rose. My family. How could you think… as if I'd ever…"

When he pulled back, his face was hardened. Any sign of vulnerability was gone. His steely gaze locked with her dazed one.

"I need you to tell me what happened, Ruby," he said. "Or you can do it tomorrow if you can't do it now. Either way, you have to tell me."

She gulped. Why? Why was he making her speak? He was gonna hate what he heard. She almost kept her mouth shut, but eventually caved in under his gaze. And so, with a shaky voice, she told him everything that happened in all its terrible detail.

She felt sick the entire time. She realised the only thing worse than remembering what happened was telling it. She had grown up on the stories of brave heroes and their heroic deeds. When she grew up, she always hoped that one day people would tell stories about her. Stories about how she slew Grimm and saved lives.

How disgusting it was to have her first story be about how she murdered someone. And she was the first one to tell it! She wasn't the hero of this story - she was the monster.

Qrow never said a word and he listened to her miserably retell what happened. When it was done, he closed his eyes as he allowed everything to sink in. Ruby braced herself the worst.

He opened his eyes again. "I see," he murmured. "Alright then."

Ruby felt her blood run cold. Alright then? _Alright then?_

"Were you even listening?" She shrieked, appalled by his words. "I killed her, Uncle Qrow! I. Killed. Her!"

"I heard," he said flatly. "I also heard you say it was an accident. I know you're telling the truth."

Ruby couldn't believe what she was hearing. "So what?" she bawled. "Who cares if it was an accident? She's still dead! I killed her!"

"You did." The words hit her like a sledgehammer. Saying it herself was one thing. Hearing someone else say it was another. "You did kill her, yes. But it wasn't your fault. You were defending yourself from someone who was trying to kill you. You did what you had to."

Ruby was at a loss for words. "I… but-"

"No buts," he cut in. "She started this fight. You ended it. You did what you had to."

Her hands clenched into fists. "No, I didn't!" she screamed. "I didn't have to kill her! I could've done something else! I could've-

"Don't be foolish!" he snapped. "If you didn't, she would've killed you instead. Don't pretend she wouldn't have. She wouldn't have travelled all this way to find you if she wasn't out for blood. If you hadn't stopped her, you'd be dead in her place, and a _real_ killer would still be loose. Would you rather that instead?"

Ruby laughed harshly. "So it doesn't matter then? I killed someone, but it's okay because she was a bad guy? Is that it?"

Qrow's face softened. "I'm not saying that," he whispered. "I'm saying there was nothing else you could do. You weren't trying to kill anyone. You were defending yourself. It's… unfortunate how things turned out, but it was an accident. It wasn't your fault."

Ruby wasn't convinced. "Then who's fault was it?" she asked bitterly.

It was scary how quickly he replied. "Hers," he said firmly. "She attacked you first. She wanted to fight and lost. Her death is her own fault."

"But I'm the one who killed her!"

"Only because you had to. You didn't want to fight, but she dragged you into it. You're the victim here, Ruby. Not her. What happened to her was of her own doing. You're not responsible for her death."

She couldn't take this anymore. She turned away from him and buried her face in the pillow. How was she not responsible? Neo didn't kill herself! It didn't matter if she intended to or not, she still murdered her. Why couldn't he understand that?

"You don't know what you're talking about," she mumbled from within the pillow. "You've never done anything like this before." Her uncle was a bit of an alcoholic, sure, but he was a true hero. A hunter she had always admired and hoped to be like. He would never do something so horrible. He was better than that. Unlike her.

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air. He then started to chuckle quietly to himself. It was the same kind of laugh he did when they were kids when Yang told him a bad joke. He had always laughed, but you could tell he didn't find it funny. There was no humour in his voice.

That was exactly how he was laughing now.

"I'm flattered you think that," he said when his laughter died down. "If only it were true…"

For a moment, Ruby swore she felt her heart stop. Her world shattered a second time. She misheard him. She _needed_ to have misheard him. In this nightmare she had created, something needed to stay normal.

When she looked up at him, she felt her blood turn to ice. His expression was… complicated. He looked torn between apologising, but at the same time, he stood by what he said. His sympathy was not for himself, but for _her_. He wouldn't be apologising for his words. He'd be apologising that she had to hear them. He knew this was hurting her more than it was him.

A ghost of a smile stretched across his lips. "You think I don't know what it feels like? Ruby… I've been a huntsman for a long time now. You think I've never gotten my hands bloody in that time?"

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "B-But that-" she stuttered out. "You're… you're not a… murderer." She whispered the last word.

"Neither are you," he stated. "Ruby, a hunter's job is always noble… but it's not always clean. I've never murdered anyone in my life. If you're asking me if I've _killed_ though…"

This time he did look away, unable to look his heartbroken niece in the eye.

Ruby just wanted everything to stop. She wanted the entire world to disappear along with her. Everything; Neo, herself, this entire night. Bang! Gone! No more heartbreak. No more misery.

She mumbled a question under her breath.

"What was that?" Qrow asked her.

"How many?" she murmured, a little louder this time.

Qrow's eyes widened for a moment before his face softened again. "You don't wanna know that, kid."

"Tell me!" she said loudly, not quite shouting for her voice was too weak, but loud enough to be commanding.

Qrow took a long, deep breath and took on a deathly neutral expression. She could see the concentration in his eyes though as he tried to remain composed.

"Seventeen."

Silence.

One word.

That's all it took. One calmly spoken word and Ruby felt herself sinking. Her heart plummeted down a bottomless pit of misery and continued travelling down even after the words sunk in.

Ruby was truly motionless. She had run out of tears to cry. Her lungs burned when she tried to speak. In truth, she didn't feel like she was living anymore. Merely existing in a cold world where she felt a piece of her die every second.

"Listen, Ruby. Life isn't always as fair as we'd like it to be," Qrow went on, pushing past her hollow expression. "Sometimes it backs you into a corner and forces you to make crappy decisions. If I could turn back the clock and prevent all those deaths from happening, I would. But I can't do anything about it now, just like how there was nothing I could do back then."

Slowly, Ruby's mouth started to move again. "Hunters… aren't supposed to…" She trailed off from there.

"I know," he agreed. "And believe me, we do everything in our power to avoid things like this. Some people though… some people can't be reasoned with. They won't come quietly, they won't cooperate... we got no choice, Ruby. Usually, we can overpower them if they're just petty criminals. Folks without training. But when we're up against, say, rogue hunters or others equally as powerful...

"So you had to kill them?"

The question was so blunt that it made even someone like him flinch. "They were monsters, Ruby," he eventually said. "Murderers, terrorists, madmen, you name it. The people I killed were just as bad as the woman who tried to kill you, some maybe even worse. If let loose, they would've gone on to hurt more innocent people. I couldn't allow that to happen. So, as much as it pained me to do so, I did what I had to."

He did what he had to...

"I'm not sorry for what I did," he continued, "but I ain't too thrilled about it either. A life's still a life, no matter who you take it from. I still remember all their names and faces. But I know I did the right thing. I can sleep soundly at night knowing that a lot of people out there are safer because of me. That is my duty as a huntsman."

If there was one thing that Qrow always took seriously, it was his sense of duty. She and Yang knew their uncle had a difficult childhood growing up, so finally being able to help people was something he took great pride in. Ruby was always inspired by his lectures of what it meant to be a hunter and the duties they upheld.

Now though, all she felt was a growing sense of dread.

"Does it get any easier?" she asked him.

He shook his head fiercely. "Never. I hated putting those people down, even if they did deserve it. It never gets easier and it never should. Only someone dead inside is fine with killing people."

That was a small comfort. She already hated herself for killing just one person. She didn't want to turn any more into a monster than what she already was.

Which then brought her to her next question.

"Is this my duty too?" she whispered. "Will I have to kill more people to protect the innocent?" She had always followed her uncle's advice. But she knew this wisdom pill would be hard to swallow.

His eyes widened. For a moment he stared in shock before his expression suddenly darkened and he buried his face in his hands, swearing under his breath. He started calling himself an idiot, a fool, and names that Ruby wouldn't dare repeat even in her head.

"I'm so crap at this," he growled. He lowered his hands and looked at her again with a softer expression. "I'm sorry, kiddo. I'm the wrong person to be talking to about this. Tai should be here with you. He'd know what to say."

Her dad… she hadn't spoken to him in so long. He felt so far away now. Her heart ached. She wanted to go home. She wanted to wake up in her old bed where everything was normal.

A horrible thought struck her like lightning.

"Mom and Dad!" she suddenly cried out. "Did they ever… you know."

Qrow paused. They both went still as he thought about his answer. Her heartbeat rang in her ears. The tension in the room was suffocating.

"I don't know," he admitted quietly. "If they did, they never told me. It's not something we like to talk about."

The relief lasted for a second before her mind went into a frenzy again. The idea of her goofy loving father killing anyone was unimaginable. As for her mother…

She couldn't think about it anymore. She was gonna go insane.

"Ruby, I don't know what the future has in store for you," he said. "I don't know if this is the last time something like this will happen." He held her hand gently. "But what I do know is that there's not a mean bone in your body. You're a good person, Ruby Rose, and you will be the best huntress you can possibly be."

"And if that means I have to kill people?"

His face twisted as he tried coming up with an answer. "Take this from me personally, kiddo: sometimes bad things just happen. Like tonight for example. It was bad luck. That's all. That doesn't mean we have to be bad in return."

"You said killing those people was a good thing to do…"

"I said it was the _right_ thing to do," he firmly stated. "It's never a good thing to end someone's life. But it can be justified. I killed those people because they would've gone on to kill innocents. You killed that woman because she was trying to kill you, and it was an accident. I'm not saying what you did was good, but it wasn't exactly bad either. You were defending yourself. Never forget that."

Her head swam as she tried making sense of the puzzle with the pieces she had. Her entire world had been flipped upside down. She had always believed that hunters were supposed to save lives, not end them. Even the worst of the worst deserved their protection.

Who were they to decide who lived and died? What gave them the right? Hunters were not supposed to be executioners. The idea of killing someone, even if it meant saving someone else… it wasn't right. They were supposed to save everyone!

"My head hurts," she mumbled softly. She leaned back into her pillow, the once soft material feeling rock-hard against her head. She couldn't take much more of this. Everything was becoming fuzzy. "I think I'd like to sleep now," she whispered. She was having trouble keeping her eyes open.

He nodded. "Call me if you need anything," he said. Before he left, he turned to look at her one last time. "I just want you to know one thing… you were right to do what you did."

That was the final nail in the coffin. Her body and mind, wrecked with exhaustion from her guilt, finally gave way.

She was out before he closed the door.

[/]

 _Darkness._

 _The only thing Ruby saw as she looked up at the sky was an endless landscape of darkness. She lay on the floor, gazing at the colourless void that stretched across the horizon. No moon glowed in the pitch-black sky above, no stars twinkled. The world was trapped in an endless night, empty and lifeless._

 _That said, she could still see despite the dark. She could see her arms and legs stretched out on the floor clearly. Her pale-white flesh stood out amidst the darkness. She lay on the floor, tilting her head left and right for any sign of life. Nothing. She was all alone in this silent, dark world. It was almost peaceful. There was no noise to be heard, nothing to see, no one to talk to._

 _But there was plenty to smell…_

 _The world stank of metal. A thick, rusty scent that filled her heart with dread and twisted her stomach. She almost choked on how overpowering it was. It was then she realised how odd the floor felt against her. It didn't feel like a solid surface. It felt wet, slimy and strangely warm. It was like she was lying on a thin body of water._

 _She stood up and screamed when she looked down._

 _Blood!_

 _She had been lying in blood!_

 _As she frantically looked around, she realised she was standing in a river of blood! It stretched as far as the darkness and lit up the world in a dull red glow. Every step she took in the made a sickening squelching noise beneath her foot. Her entire world was a land of blood and darkness._

" _W-What is this?" she wailed. Tears poured down her face as she looked around terrified. "Where am I?"_

 _She felt like she was going to be sick, both from the smell and the fear. In her panic, she slipped and landed on her side, causing blood to splash up in the air when she hit the ground. Blood drenched the side of her face and she frantically wiped it off with her sleeve. The stench was unbearable. She could almost taste it now, the metallic tang wafting so close to her._

 _She had to get out of here! She had to escape!_

" _Help me!" she cried out. "Uncle Qrow! Yang! Where are you?" She began running like a madman through the crimson river. "Somebody help me! Please, somebody help me!"_

 _She ran crying out for her friends, for anyone who could help. No response came. It was just her in this world, chasing an endless black void along a bloody trail. She ran until she was long out of breath, trying to reach an end to the world. She even activated her semblance to help her get there quicker. Nothing. It was all the same wherever she moved._

 _Her situation was hopeless. Exhausted and broken by fear, she collapsed onto her knees and screamed at the pitch-black sky. Her hopelessness and despair made her forget the blood beneath her. She howled until her lungs burned, then she brought her legs up and rested her face against her knees, sobbing quietly to herself._

" _Please help me," she whimpered. As if anyone could hear her now. "Anybody… please…"_

 _Silence. There was only her. There was only darkness. There was only blood. There was only despair._

 _Suddenly, some of the blood in front of her started to bubble._

 _Ruby's eyes widened as the blood squelched and popped into life. What started off as just a few quickly became hundreds of bubbles, all coming from the same spot. As the number of bubbles grew, they began hissing and spurting furiously like boiling water. She shifted backwards away from it. What was happening?_

 _And then, slowly, a figure rose out of the blood. Pushed upwards by some unseen force, the figure rose until it was standing upright, caked in the blood they had risen out of. It stood motionless in front of her like some twisted statue, and as the blood dripped off of it, more features began to reveal themselves. Ruby's eyes stared petrified at what they saw._

 _The figure was revealed to be a short woman, shorter than even her. Her hair was an unusual blend of colours - a mixture of brown, pink and white. She wore a stylish outfit, consisting of a white jacket with a pink interior, accompanied by a brown corset, black gloves and white heels. Resting in her hand was a bright pink parasol as stylish as her clothes._

 _In truth, it was actually impossible to make out all the different colours. Any observer would only see a woman covered head to toe in red. But Ruby knew better. Every detail about the girl was burned in her memory, right down to the colour of her outfit. It was impossible to forget._

 _After all, how could she forget the woman she killed?_

 _Neo stood before her, expressionless and covered in blood. She opened her eyes, revealing her mismatched irises that would've been pretty if they weren't faded and lifeless. Her gaze pierced Ruby's very soul. Ruby couldn't speak. She couldn't think. She couldn't breathe. Words died on her tongue as her mind failed to understand the situation._

" _Y… you…" was all she managed out. Her legs somehow found the strength to move backwards, and she felt her foot nudge something behind her._

 _Turning around, she saw Crescent Rose lying close behind her. Or rather, what was supposed to be Crescent Rose, but instead looked like a bastardised version of her weapon. The metals were twisted and deformed, making the once elegant design look demonic in appearance. The blade was sharper than ever and the metal had triangular cracks running through it, causing it to look like a set of jagged teeth. From how the head of the scythe curved, it was like the weapon was smiling._

 _The weapon exuded such a hideous aura that it caused Ruby to flinch away from it in disgust. Her weapon, the one that she loved with all her heart, now horrified her. This wasn't the weapon she had spent years perfecting and was her pride and joy. This was something evil. Something only a monster would use._

 _She saw her reflection in the blood…_

 _She turned to Neo who was now walking slowly towards her. What was once an expressionless face was now warped by hatred and malice. She saw murder flash in her eyes as she unsheathed her blade. Behind her was her only salvation - a grotesque version of her weapon that looked eager to kill._

 _As Neo got closer, Ruby's mind was on the verge of collapse. All of her hunter instincts were screaming at her to defend herself. To pick up her weapon and fight!_

 _Her scythe grinned her way as she reached for it with a shaky hand. The hungry blade sang to her promises of ripping her foes apart. With its thirst for bloodshed and her indomitable skill, the two would tear apart anyone who stood in their way. Red Reaper indeed._

 _Her fingers grazed the handle and she quickly pulled her hand away like it had been burned. One touch of her weapon sent memories of their last encounter playing before her eyes. Seconds later, she was shaking violently and staring at her weapon in horror._

 _It was happening all over again. They would fight, she'd get lucky, and then she'd…_

 _Not again! She couldn't do this again! But what else could she do? If she didn't fight she'd die, but if she did she'd go insane!_

 _Neo was getting closer..._

 _As her survival instincts gave way to madness and panic, only one stood out. It was one she had buried deep inside of her. Training under her uncle had made her a proud warrior, and to even think about resorting to this last tactic sickened her. But she was too scared to fight and even more scared to die. She was no warrior at this moment. Right now, all she was was a scared little girl who wanted to live._

 _And so she behaved accordingly - by collapsing onto her knees and begging before her attacker._

" _It wasn't my fault!" she wailed to the bloody woman before of her. "I didn't mean to kill you! Please, it was an accident! I'm sorry!"_

 _Neo's footsteps stopped and the world was brought to a deathly silence. Ruby had her head to the ground with her eyes clenched shut. Fear had her in a vice-grip and she was too scared to look up._

" _I never wanted to kill you," she whimpered. "I was just trying to protect myself. But when I saw what I did, I… it wasn't my fault! I'm responsible, I know, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"_

 _She had no idea if her words were having an effect. Neo, lacking a voice as she did in life, was unresponsive to her pleas. At least with words. She was gonna have to look up to see if Neo was even listening to her. Her gut pleaded with her to keep her eyes on the floor. She wanted to listen to it, but she needed to see if what she was saying was sticking with her._

 _Slowly and carefully, Ruby tilted her head up-_

 _-to see Neo raising the blade over her head._

" _No, please, I'm so-"_

 _And then the blade went straight down for her face._

[/]

Ruby threw herself out of bed when she awoke. Panting and covered in cold sweat, her eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness as she frantically looked around.

The blood was gone. Neo was gone. The darkness remained but only because someone had turned off a light.

She was back in her bedroom! She was safe!

Her eyes landed on the lamp by her bedside and she quickly turned it on. The light was a blessing as it washed away the darkness, illuminating the room in a dull but reassuring glow. Minutes passed as she lay in her bed cradling her shivering body until she finally got her breathing under control again. Deep breaths, in and out. Everything came into focus.

She had awoken just before the blade hit her. She could still feel the rush of the wind on her face as Neo brought the weapon down. She could smell and taste the blood that drowned the nightmare. That's all it was though - a nightmare. She told herself this ten times and then ten more times until she finally believed it.

And then as one nightmare ended, another began. Just as she was beginning to relax, she was reminded of what she had done. Of what started the nightmare to begin with. Only this time, there would be no escape from it…

"I'm sorry," she whimpered to herself in the hopes that something merciful was listening to her. How many times did she have to apologise before she found peace? Her pleas went unheard, leaving her to wallow alone in her misery.

She looked at her alarm clock. She had been asleep for one hour. One hour and it felt like a lifetime.

She didn't close her eyes for the rest of the night.

* * *

 **Oh lawd, I suffered really bad writer's block this past week. I'm determined not to let it beat me though.**

 **I'm happy to know most of you are relieved that this isn't gonna be a crazy-psycho Ruby fic. Yeah, horror is my favourite genre (despite how less obvious it might seem from my profile) and not all horror has to be about demented killers who love the blood. If anything, I find those stories not scary at all, unless they are done in a very specific way. Most of the time though, the killer just laughs at the sign of death and says something that's supposed to be deep, but in reality, he probably got it from an emo's fortune cookie.**

 **Never underestimate the horror of trauma. I hope to do a good job of exploring that in this story. As always, I appreciate the support.**

 **Later, gators.**


	3. Chapter 3

**And here's chapter 3. With Halloween and Volume 6 on the horizon, I wanna see how much of this I can get finished. It's a short story, so I guess that's why I've been lax when writing this. That changes now though. Fair warning, this is the darkest chapter in the story. At least, I think it is. Just bear that in mind when reading it.**

* * *

 **Cover art - MRK50**

* * *

Ruby lay on her bed as stiff as a statue.

She knew every corner of the bedroom now. Her vacant eyes never failed to miss a single detail. She knew every crack in the walls, every speck of dust that dirtied the furniture. She lay in the centre of it all, silently observing everything around her. The room was her world as well as her cage.

She scarcely left it. It was better for everyone that she locked herself away. It was safer. If she remained where she was, if she didn't move, she wouldn't be able to hurt anyone. After all, you couldn't hurt anyone if there was no one around you, right? That's what she kept telling herself. It's what kept her from leaving her room. She'd rather be lonely than a threat to everyone.

But they kept making an effort to see her. They kept leaving food outside for her and knocking on her door asking if they could come in. When they did she never made a noise, pretending to be asleep. A lie, of course. She didn't sleep anymore. Waiting for her in the dark corners of her unconscious mind was Neo and a world of blood and darkness. She could never go there again. Occasionally she found herself slipping from reality, but she never allowed herself to truly succumb to slumber.

She always accepted the food long after they left though. Even if she despised herself, her body wasn't ready to give up on her yet. She needed to eat and drink, a necessity she begrudgingly accepted. Since she was barely moving, food was the only source of energy she had keeping her awake.

This had been going on for nearly two days now. She hadn't seen or spoken to anyone aside from Qrow ever since the incident. They probably missed her. Oh who was she kidding, of course they did. They'd get over it though. Once they understood everything, they'd want nothing to do with her. She wouldn't blame them. They were too good for the likes of her.

She didn't react when she heard a knock on her door, followed by a voice. Yang's voice.

"Ruby?" she heard her from the other side of the door. "Can I come in now?"

Yang wasn't like the others. Everyone else was content on leaving her be, likely under Qrow's instructions. But not Yang. Her sister was persistent. She always was. This hadn't been the first time she knocked asking to see her. Each time she hadn't responded. That always sent her away. Yang wasn't so persistent that she was gonna break down the door to see her.

"Come on, Ruby, let me in," Yang said softly. "I know you don't wanna be on your own in there."

Her heart ached. Of course she didn't want to be alone, but what other choice did she have? This was the safest thing to do. Plus, she didn't want anyone to see her like this. She couldn't bear to see the shame in their eyes as they saw her for the monster she had become.

"Ruby, talk to me," the soft pleas of her sister came again. "Please."

The pain in her chest grew with every word she spoke. Yang was right - she was lonely. She sat in silence in the prison she had confined herself to. It would've been unbearable if it hadn't been for the reminder of why she was doing this. Having people in her life would be bad news.

But a part of her - a selfish part - yearned for company again. She missed her friends. She missed her family. They wouldn't even need to say anything if they saw her. She'd settle for a hug, or just them being in the same room as her would do. A reminder that she wasn't alone. That she had people that loved her.

Against better reasoning, she found herself slowly lifting herself off the bed and walking towards the locked door. This was wrong. She shouldn't be doing this. Yang doesn't deserve this. She was gonna get her hurt. Just turn around and go back to bed. That's all you're good for now!

 _Click_

She hadn't seen her hand unlocking the door, but she knew she had done it. She'd punish herself for doing so after Yang left.

Her sister didn't look surprised when the door opened, nor when she caught the sunken look on her face. Instead, she was smiling. Not the usual ear-splitting grin she usually wore. A softer smile, one that was still filled with warmth that naturally radiated from her.

"There you are," she said happily. Despite looking energetic from seeing her again, Yang kept her tone soft and controlled.

Ruby didn't say anything. She stood aside and let her sister in. She kept her eyes to the floor as Yang walked into her room. She heard her older sister sniff and then seconds later opened a window. After that, she plopped herself down on her bed like it was her own.

"It's funny," Yang chuckled lightheartedly. "Even after all this time, I've still gotta be the one to drag you out of your room. It's like we're back home all over again. At least you've kept the place tidy this time."

Jokes. Always with the jokes. Yang couldn't go five minutes without making a quip about something. A trait she really didn't appreciate right now.

"What do you want, Yang?" Ruby mumbled. She couldn't handle this. It was already a mistake letting her in in the first place. It would only get worse if things carried on.

Yang frowned. "What reason do I need for wanting to see my own sister?"

"Aren't you angry?" she whispered.

"Angry?" Her eyes lit up and she laughed again. "Oh, you must be talking about yesterday when I dropped my arm in the pool. Yeah, I was mad about that. I had to fish it out all by myself."

Something gnawed in the back of Ruby's skull. It made her eye twitch and her hands shake. "Stop it," she muttered too quietly to be heard.

"I thought the thing was never gonna work again," Yang carried on. "And of course my hair got soaked. I looked like a wet dog-"

"Stop it!" Ruby cried out. "Can we just stop with this? Stop with the whole 'pretend everything's okay' attitude? Do I look okay to you, Yang? Do I!?"

She had never raised her voice at Yang like that before. Not even when they argued as children. Ruby wasn't used to such anger and felt exhausted by the effort. Yang even looked surprised by her outburst.

Ruby quickly calmed herself down. She hadn't meant to snap like that, but what was she supposed to do? The only thing worse than being reminded of what she did was pretending like nothing happened. It was mad. Maybe it was easier for Yang to look past it, but not her. This would haunt her until the end of her days.

The room was silent again. Ruby trembled on the spot and Yang awkwardly fiddled with her hair, twirling a finger around one of her golden locks. She wasn't looking at Ruby this time.

"I didn't think you wanted to talk about it," Yang admitted quietly. "I didn't wanna come here just to bring you down. We all know this is hard for you."

Ruby didn't respond. There was no chance they could _not_ talk about what happened. The truth of what happened followed her everywhere.

"Qrow already told us everything," Yang added. "You don't gotta explain yourself to me."

Angry tears stung the back of Ruby's eyes. "Then you know what I did," she whispered bitterly. "Why I can't just ignore it and why everyone should hate me. And why pretending everything's okay when it's not is wrong!"

There was a pause.

"Do you want me to leave?" Yang offered.

A feeling of guilt twisted inside her. It would be better if she did. Ruby was making things miserable for the both of them. Talking to her in the state she was in right now must have been tiring for Yang.

But even she knew her sister was only trying to help her. It would be rude to turn her away. And she was lonely. She wasn't ready to return to isolation just yet.

"No," she whimpered.

"I can if you want," Yang insisted. "If I'm making things worse, just say the word. I'll get out of your hair."

"No, no, stay," she pleaded. "I don't wanna be alone…" She finished her sentence with a pathetic whimper.

Yang studied Ruby for a moment. She got off the bed and started to approach her. Ruby took a step back when she was close enough. A look of sadness flitted across Yang's face when she saw her retreating. It's not that Yang scared her, it's just… well, she didn't trust herself. Letting her in her room was already a risk. Getting close seemed too dangerous.

And then Yang spread her arms apart. Ruby knew instantly what she was doing. It was the universal symbol for a hug. She knew she shouldn't get any closer. It wouldn't do any good. She wasn't ready for this kind of contact.

But it was tempting. Too tempting. Yang was a naturally warm person and always knew how to comfort her. She wanted to feel that security again. Even if it was a lie, she wanted to believe that everything was okay, even for just a second.

Her feet moved on their own. She awkwardly shuffled towards her and leaned into her embrace. Yang wrapped her arms around her, one hand coming up to rub her hair. A soothing aura flowed through her and Ruby found herself too limp to return the hug. She was melting in her arms. It felt like an eternity since she had felt this safe. She was struggling to keep her eyes open, with only the grim reminder of what lay in the dreamlands to keep her awake.

"I don't hate you," Yang whispered.

"You should," she muttered her weak reply.

"Well, that's too bad, because I don't. None of us do. We want you to come back to us. We're worried about you."

Ruby shook her head. "I can't leave here. What if something goes wrong? What if I end up hurting one of you guys?"

"Never gonna happen."

"But it did happen!" she exclaimed. "That's why I'm here in the first place! I don't want to hurt anyone else! I… I can't do it again…"

Yang's hold on her didn't falter. If anything, it got tighter due to her words. "I told you, Qrow gave us the full scoop. I know how it all went down. You got attacked and tried to defend yourself. Everyone knows this."

"I killed her, Yang!" Ruby moaned.

"You didn't mean to," she sighed. "There was no way you could've known what was gonna happen. It was an accident."

Ruby's temper flared. There it was again. That word. _Accident_ _ **.**_ Everyone kept using that stupid word. First her uncle and now her sister. It was driving her mad!

She forcibly pulled herself out of Yang's arms and glared at her. "Who cares if it was an accident?" she shouted. "That doesn't make her any less dead! I don't care if it was an accident or not. It doesn't matter. She's still dead and I still killed her. Do you understand now, Yang? I _killed_ her!"

Ruby's hair would've been glowing if she possessed her sister's semblance. Sadly, she had a less impressive way of showing her anger - by having her voice go hoarse and having her own hair in a frazzled state. The only red in her eyes was due to her tears.

This time it was Yang who was looking down at the floor. Ruby felt the tension in the air thicken and she took a step back. Something about Yang was off. Heat still radiated off of her, but it wasn't the comforting warmth she was used to. It was something different. Something worse.

"So what?" she heard Yang mutter. She spoke quietly, but it was impossible to miss the venom in her voice.

Ruby's heart skipped a beat. "What did you say?"

"I said so what? Who cares if some crazy psychopath is dead? The world's better off without her."

Like a raging fire, the heat from Yang grew fiercer. Every word she spoke was dripping with hatred. Ruby couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Yang," she whispered in disbelief. "You can't… you can't say that!"

"What do you want me to say then?" Yang growled. She turned her head up to look at her. Her red eyes were ablaze. "You want me to feel sorry for her? Because I don't. She was a monster who got what she deserved. Good riddance."

"Y-Yang, you're… she was a person!"

"A person who tried to kill you!" she roared. The room shook from the terrible power of Yang's fury. The air became hot and hurt Ruby's lungs when she breathed it in. "She was gonna murder a fifteen-year-old girl for no reason! She was a waste of life and she deserved to die for what she did!"

The room was spinning. Yang rage was spiralling out of control. Her words were agony to hear. "Yang, you have to stop this," Ruby croaked. She couldn't take much more of this.

Yang ignored her and raged on. "No, I'm not sorry she's dead," she seethed. "In fact, you know what? I'm glad she's dead! I'm fucking thrilled about it! Because I swear to God, if she stole you from me, I would've hunted that bitch down and killed her myself! If I could get my hands on her now, I would-"

Yang got no further when Ruby crashed into her. She wrapped her arms tightly around her sister and squeezed with as much strength as she could muster.

"Stop it!" Ruby wailed. "Stop speaking like that! No more killing! I don't wanna hear this anymore!"

All this talk of killing and revenge. It was madness! This was a nightmare! Ruby prayed to whatever higher force was out there to wake her up. Yang was her loving older sister. She was not a killer! Please don't make her one! Please!

Yang was boiling to the touch. Hugging her was like trying to hug a pit of lava. She burned her. But Ruby clung to her regardless, desperately trying to get her to calm down. Yang didn't return the hug. Not immediately, at least. She stood there silently quivering in rage before gradually wrapping her arms around her. It was weaker than before, but anything was better than her flying into a rampage.

"I didn't mean to scare you," she muttered. "But don't ask me to take back what I said. Because I mean it. I'm happy she's gone."

Ruby's only response was a choked sob.

"Look, I know you don't like what I said, but you're my sister, Rubes! You mean everything to me. If anything were to happen to you, I don't know what I'd do." Yang was gradually starting to calm down, although the rage inside her still burned. "I hate Neo, and that's never gonna change. She was a crazy woman who tried to take you away from me. I'm not sorry she's dead."

Ruby swallowed. "I know she was a bad person," he murmured. "I know she tried to kill me, and it's probably better that she's dead. So then why…" Her throat seized up and tears streamed down her face again. "Why do I feel so bad about it? Why does this feel like my fault?"

Yang sighed and hugged her tighter. This time she did feel warm. Not the burning inferno she was a few moments ago. This heat was safe and gentle like before. It was moments like this that almost made her forget all that she had done. It would be hard for her to pull away.

"Because you're the greatest person ever, Ruby," Yang whispered sincerely. "You haven't got a mean bone in your body. You can feel sorry for people like her, even when everyone else would say she deserved it. And that's why you're not the monster you think you are. You're better than that."

The two sisters held each other in silence for a while. They were both exhausted - Ruby from her sorrow and Yang from her rage. Talking was too much effort for them right now. Yang was the first one to pull away. She sat on the bed with a troubled look on her face.

"Ruby, can I tell you something?" she said softly. "I've never told anyone this before. I thought it was better if I just kept it to myself. But now it's time you know the truth."

That caught Ruby's attention. Yang never kept anything from anyone, least of all from her. She was too confident to worry about what other people thought. Now though, Yang was looking just as vulnerable as her.

"I'm listening," she said.

"Thanks." Yang took a deep breath and started talking. "You remember that time we visited Mt Glenn? When we ended up having that big fight on the train? Remember how we all split up into different cars?"

It wasn't something she was likely to forget. That had been one of the most intense fights in her life. She nodded.

"Well, while you were on the roof, me, Blake and Weiss ran into Neo in one of the cars. I was feeling pretty cocky and I wanted to bust her face in for pulling that disappearing act last time. So I told the others to go on ahead and fought her myself."

Yang shuddered as she recalled the fight. "She was kicking my ass. She was so fast, I don't think I landed a single hit on her. And she did it so easily. She was smiling the whole time. It was a game for her. She danced around all my hits like they were nothing."

"Okay," Ruby said. "But that doesn't matter. I mean, you won in the end, right?"

Yang went silent. Ruby couldn't understand why she wasn't answering. Of course she had won! She wouldn't be here if she hadn't. Why wasn't she saying anything?

Unless…

"No, I didn't," Yang whispered. "I told you, she was destroying me. I didn't stand a chance. I remember she ended the fight by smacking me against the ceiling, almost knocking me out. I couldn't do anything except watch her raise her blade over me and…"

Yang had to stop for a moment to control herself. The memory was just as horrifying for her as it was for Ruby. The girl was stunned, frozen in horror from Yang's story.

When Yang had calmed down, she continued. "Ruby… the only reason I'm alive is because Raven decided to pull her thumb out of her ass and be a decent mom for once. She jumped in and saved me at the last second. But if she hadn't… I wouldn't be here right now."

Ruby's breath hitched. It felt like her heart was being pulled out of her chest. Neo had almost killed Yang? That… that was… she couldn't even think about it. It was impossible to imagine. Life without her mother was hard enough, but living without her sister was something she couldn't comprehend. Life without her… it wasn't living at all!

"I had no idea," Ruby whispered.

Yang shrugged. "Don't worry about it," she muttered. "I didn't tell you guys because I didn't want to worry you. But now's the time you should know."

She leaned in closer. Her gaze was hard. It lacked the fire it previously had, but it was more familiar on her than the frightened look she once had. "Ruby, I won't lie to you: Neo scared me. And I don't scare easily. When I heard it was her that attacked you, I thought you were a goner. I know what she was capable of and it terrified me."

It had terrified Ruby too. But what happened next felt worse than anything Neo was capable of. "You're really happy she's dead, aren't you?" she asked. It hadn't meant to sound like an accusation, though it probably came out as one.

Yang nodded. "I can't lie to you, Ruby. I'm glad she's gone for good. It's better for everyone this way."

"So you think what I did was a good thing?"

Yang hesitated. "It's probably not for me to say," she said carefully. "I definitely don't think it was a bad thing what you did. But if you want my honest opinion… then yes. Some people have to be put down. I'm just sorry you had to be the one to do it."

Bile threatened to crawl its way up her throat. This was worse than being hated for her actions. Getting _praised_ for them? This was wrong. Everything was wrong! She was going to be sick from how unclean she felt. She was no hero for doing what she did. She was the lowest of the low!

"I'm not trying to thank you for what you did," Yang quickly added. "I know you hate what happened and I understand that. I won't talk about it anymore if you don't want to, but I want you to know something… I feel so much safer now that I don't have to worry about her. I think a lot of other people do too."

The conflicting emotions were crushing her. Like Yang, Ruby would do absolutely anything to protect her sister. This went for all her friends. They were her entire reason for living. There was no length she wouldn't go to in order to keep them safe.

At least, that's what she initially thought. But how far was too far? Was it really okay to kill even if it meant keeping someone else safe? Yang had a point, there were some people out there that the world could do without, but did she really have it in her to kill them? More importantly, could she do it again?

Ruby had always believed the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. But she wanted to save everyone…

Her head hurt.

"I'm glad you feel safe," she muttered miserably. At least someone felt saved after all this. The price of her heroics had never felt so awful before.

True to her word, Yang didn't say anything more about it. In fact, she stopped speaking entirely. She just pulled her into her lap and held her close, gently rocking her back and forth. Ruby sat snuggled against her sister - the sister she had apparently saved. At least Neo wouldn't be able to hurt her again…

Tiredness suddenly washed over her. Her eyelids felt heavy. It wasn't long before she drifted back off to sleep again.

[/]

 _The thick repugnant smell was what she noticed first. A grim reminder of where she was._

 _She was in the nightmare again. The sky was as black as it had been before, the blood just as red and endless. Nothing was different. The world was the same grotesque landscape it had been since she was last here. That was the worst thing about this hell - it was horrifyingly easy to remember._

 _Ruby shook with fear. She had thought she escaped this place. Once was punishment enough. She couldn't handle it again. Her mind couldn't take it. This time she didn't run wildly through the crimson river. She knew there was no escape. Only blood and darkness. She stood rooted to the spot and shut her eyes. She tried everything she could to remove herself from this world._

" _It's not real," she muttered desperately to herself. "It's only a dream. You'll wake up soon. It's not real!"_

 _And then, in the distance, she heard the blood begin to bubble…_

 _She cracked open one eye. She knew what was happening, yet found herself unable to look away. Just like before, Neo slowly rose out of the river caked in blood with a cold expression on her face. Her hand reached for her blade and unsheathed it. Ruby's own blood ran cold._

 _This was how it would always play out. Neo would rise from the grave and Ruby would be unable to do anything as she cut her down. And then it would happen all over again. She would be locked in this endless cycle until the day she died. It would never end. Her mind wouldn't allow it._

 _Was there no other way?_

 _Ruby felt something heavy but familiar in her hands. When she looked down, she was indeed holding something familiar, but at the same time, it looked so alien. It was the monstrous version of Crescent Rose that existed in the nightmare. The blade looked even sharper than before. She could feel the hunger resonating from the weapon. It was eager to bathe in the blood of all who stood before it._

 _Ruby gasped at the sight of the weapon. She nearly dropped it in disgust, but one look at Neo again made her tighten her grip around it. She hated this thing. It was an evil, defiled mockery of her beloved scythe. She had no business wielding something like this. It was better off in someone like Salem's hands. The weapon looked like something the witch crafted herself._

 _But it was her only defence against Neo. The psychopath couldn't be reasoned with. She could and would kill her if Ruby allowed her to. Their last encounter here already proved that._

 _It was only a dream. Ruby knew that, but she had woken up just before Neo stabbed her. What if she didn't wake up right away and the blade hit her? What kind of pain would she feel? Would it be too much for her mind and she'd die of a heart attack in her sleep? She really didn't want to die…_

 _And then she was reminded of something. Something Yang had told her that day. Ruby_ _wasn't the only one Neo had tried to kill. There had been her sister. The sister she loved with all her heart. The sister who had almost died because of Neo._

 _She tightened her grip on the weapon..._

" _You… you tried to kill Yang," Ruby said quietly. "You tried to kill my sister. My sister!"_

 _Yang's smiling face flashed in her mind. She had an endless amount of memories of her. Every bad joke she made, every time they played together as children, every time she comforted her when she was sad and lonely. She cherished those moments. She wouldn't trade those times they had for anything in the world. And Neo had almost put an end to it all._

 _Ruby trembled. Somewhere, deep inside her, a fire burned._

" _You helped destroy Beacon. That was my home! We were gonna do so much good there. We were gonna learn how to be heroes. How to protect people - people like you! And you and Cinder-"_

 _Red hot fury coursed through her veins. Her knuckles whitened as her hands continued to tighten around the handle. The more she thought about it, the more Ruby realised something. Neo wasn't a person at all - she was a disease. She destroyed everything she touched and offered nothing to the world. She was a parasite, plain and simple._

" _And then you tried to kill me!" she growled. Rage curdled inside her, dissolving whatever fear she might have had left. Ruby wasn't scared of her anymore. Far from it. This was something else._

 _The fire inside her burned like a raging inferno. Every memory of Yang made the flames burn even hotter. And when she looked at Neo, her insides were practically ablaze. Her teeth chattered as the flames rose to the top. She couldn't control herself any longer. She was seething with malice. Tears of rage poured down her face as she glared daggers into Neo._

" _This is all your fault!" she bellowed. "You started this! You made this happen! We're only here because of you!"_

 _Neo was as silent as she was in life. She didn't even blink when Ruby raised her tone. This enraged her more. She really didn't care, did she? She didn't care about the people she hurt. The lives she ruined! It meant nothing to her!_

 _She was a waste of skin!_

 _She could feel the scythe throbbing in her hands. Her anger was giving it life. Its blade seemed to grow sharper, more deadly. It was eager to slice Neo up into ribbons. It was hungry for her blood. She could almost hear it pleading to her master to give in to her urges. To allow it to sink its metal teeth into her flesh and end her life. Together they could put down this rabid animal once and for all!_

 _That sounded like a good idea…_

" _I'll never forgive you for what you did!" she roared. Her voice echoed all around them. "People like you and Cinder ruin lives! You're no better than the Grimm! You don't deserve to live!"_

 _The scythe rumbled in anticipation. It could taste the battle that was about to happen. Ruby thought of Yang, Beacon, her friends. Everyone Neo posed a threat to. Through the cloud of hate that fogged her mind, only one thing made sense. She was clear in her purpose. She knew what she had to do._

 _Last time had been an accident. She had actually felt bad about it. But she wouldn't feel bad about this._

 _And then, like a speeding bullet shot from a gun, she attacked._

" _DIE!" she screamed, unleashing all of her hatred into one sentence. One strike. The scythe headed straight for her neck._

 _Neo didn't even try to block it. The scythe cut through her neck like a knife through butter. Her head went sailing through the air and landed in the blood with a splash, sinking beneath its red surface. The body swayed and twitched for a few seconds before it too fell backwards and landed in the river. The splash it created made a few drops of blood hit Ruby's cheeks._

 _She didn't care. She let out a few steady breaths as she tried to breathe the fire out of her lungs. It was over. She had finally put an end to that monster. She wasn't horrified by her actions. On the contrary, it felt rather good. In this way, she knew Neo wouldn't hurt anyone ever again. It felt like the first proper win she had in a long time._

 _Her victory was short-lived, as she heard the blood bubble behind her._

 _When she turned around, she saw another Neo rising out of the bloody depths. She was identical to the last one, with her head firmly attached to her body now. Only this time, she didn't have a blank expression on her face. Instead, she was smiling._

 _Smiling!_

 _Rage exploded within her again. If she wanted to come back, so be it! She would just put her down again and again! She could do this all day! It was a pleasure!_

" _Raaargh!" A primal scream erupted from her as she charged at Neo. Her scythe ripped through the air and cleaved apart Neo's body. Blood and flesh fell from the sky as Ruby butchered the psychopath. She made sure to carve along her face to wipe that smirk off it._

 _Just as the other Neo died, another one rose and took its place. Ruby wouldn't stop until they were all dead. She whipped around and split it in two with one swipe. Blood splashed across her snarling face. Her teeth gnashed together as she watched the two halves fall._

 _They kept on coming. For every Neo she killed, another one was born. Ruby dealt with them all in the same efficient and bloody way as the last. She hacked, she slashed, she cut, she disembowelled. They fell like dominoes before her. None of them put up a fight. It was all too easy for her._

 _Another Neo rose. Ruby threw her scythe away and leapt at her, knocking her to the ground. Sitting on her chest, she started to hammer her fists into her face. "Die! Die! Die!" she screamed with every punch that landed. "Just die!"_

 _It felt so satisfying to feel the crunch of bone beneath her hands. Her knuckles were gashed from scraping against her teeth and skull, but the pain just made her hit harder. It filled her with adrenaline. She kept punching and punching until Neo's face was nothing but a bloody, meaty mess. Even when she had punched a hole through it, she kept hammering against the floor._

 _There could be no restraint! No mercy! For Neo would offer he none._

 _Her arms ached from the effort. She smacked against her one last time and buried her fist in the hole she had made in Neo's face. She rested it there for a moment and tried to control herself. She was exhausted now. The rage inside her had begun to die down. She found herself in an odd state of peace in this hellish land._

 _And then it was over. Neo stopped coming back to life. The last one she had killed was now lying in a heap beneath her. Ruby was all alone again. Alone in this land of blood and darkness. Now surrounded by hundreds of corpses of Neo. They were everywhere. They littered the ground. It was impossible to look around without noticing again._

 _It was so quiet now. The flame inside her had died out. Ruby felt cold all of a sudden. The only heat came from the fresh blood trickling down her face and clothes. A sickening shudder passed through her. The fog in her head cleared, and her vision was clearer than it had ever been._

 _Her heart twisted in her chest when she saw the corpses. The blood decorating the monster-scythe. The blade rested on the floor grinning at her. It looked satisfied. Ruby looked down at her hands._

 _Scarlet._

[/]

Yang wasn't there when Ruby woke up. She was tucked in her bed and the light was off. Her stomach churned. She didn't stay there for long.

Ruby rushed to the bathroom on shaky legs and vomited. She remained there for the rest of the night.

* * *

 **I really like writing Yang. I know some people might think she's being OOC by thinking that Neo should die, but when you threaten someone's sister, I think it's reasonable to think that. This is a trying time for everyone involved.**

 **Not much else to say really. Thanks for reading. I'll start working on the next chapter now.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here we go with chapter 4. Enjoy.**

* * *

 **Cover art - MRK50**

* * *

Walking down the hallway felt like the most liberating thing in the world. Having isolated herself in her room for days, Ruby felt like she was stepping into a whole new world just by being in a different part of the house. She noticed little things, like how much space there was to walk around, to how fresh the air was outside of her room. Even the floor felt different. Walking barefoot, it felt cold and foreign beneath her feet, unlike the floor in her room which was so familiar due to her constantly pacing around it.

The window showed a pitch-black sky outside. It wasn't an accident that she had chosen to come out at night. She may have been out of her room at last, but she wasn't ready for everyone to see her just yet. Stepping outside had been a struggle enough. So she waited until everyone was likely asleep before she walked around the house. She moved slowly and quietly to avoid waking anyone up.

Her complicated thoughts followed her everywhere. Her mind was a mess, tormented by complicated questions with unsatisfying answers. Whenever she was feeling down, she was usually able to fix her mood by going on a walk. If that didn't work, she'd end up sleeping on those negative thoughts. The walk wasn't helping though, and sleep was absolutely out of the question. At least it felt good to stretch her legs again.

She walked past the weapons maintenance room they had used during their time in the academy. She had meant to carry on walking, but she saw something red out of the corner of her eye from inside. Curious and a little worried, she cautiously poked her head through the doorway. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw what was inside.

Resting on the table was Crescent Rose. She hadn't seen her weapon in days now. She no longer kept it in her room for obvious reasons. Her uncle must have moved it here and, presumably, was the one looking after it. It looked well maintained and tuned, almost as if she had done the job herself. She was quick to notice how clean the blade looked. The only red on the scythe was from the paint job.

Crescent Rose. Her beloved weapon. Looking at it again was like seeing an old friend.

And revisiting a nightmare.

She looked down at it feeling numb. She had spent so many hours designing it and many more perfecting it. Sometimes she spent entire days tuning the weapon just to make sure everything was working okay, or giving it an upgrade. She gave it so much love and attention that it may as well have been her child. Although intimidating in size and appearance, her goal was to have it be a symbol of hope one day.

She reached her hand out to it. She wanted to hold it again. To relieve those memories of feeling like a hero. Crescent Rose was a part of her. She felt incomplete without it.

And then she imagined its blade slicing through Neo's neck…

Crescent Rose suddenly transformed into the monster scythe from her nightmare. She blinked, frantically rubbed her eyes, and it was back to normal again. Unfortunately, the damage was already done. Crescent Rose was indeed symbol now - a symbol of fear. When she looked at it, she would always be reminded of how it was used to kill another human being. If she were to wield that weapon, it meant that she too killed humans. Every weapon was made to suit the user, after all.

That was not the image she wanted to represent. The world had enough darkness in it without her input. She stared down at her weapon miserably. She loved Crescent Rose, but she hated what it had become. The two were simply incompatible with one another. She would have shed tears if she hadn't already cried herself dry.

She turned her back on her beloved weapon, turned off the light in the room, and closed the door behind her.

[/]

" _Alright, Jaune. Just like we practised. Follow these instructions."_

Ruby's ears perked up. She knew that voice. Or rather, she knew the video from where that voice came from. She had been walking towards the training room where she heard the unmistakable first few lines of the last message left behind by Pyrrha. As far as she knew, only one person had that video saved.

She peeked her head through the training room door and true enough, there was Jaune practising various strikes while listening to the encouraging words of his late partner. As always, he was oblivious to the world around him. His expression was firm and focused as he cut through the air, occasionally grunting with each strike. He didn't notice her quietly creep into the room and watch him from a distance.

She didn't like him when he was like this. Or rather, she didn't like how he looked. His eyes were cold and distant when he was training like this. It made him look like an empty shell. Perhaps he was imagining himself in another lifetime where Pyrrha had survived. Ruby often caught him training like this. The worst part was when the video ended. You could easily see the pain in his eyes when Pyrrha's voice stopped and he was brought back to reality.

She watched him swing his sword for a while until the video finally ended, giving him time to stop for a break. Sweat rolled down his forehead as he breathed deeply from exhaustion. Perhaps it was seeing another friend suffering that made her cough for his attention.

His quickly turned around and his eyes widened in surprise. "Ruby?" he gasped.

"Hey, Jaune," she meekly said, giving him a small wave.

"Hey…" He wiped the sweat off his head and straightened himself. "You're, uh, you're out of your room."

"I needed a walk."

"I don't blame you. You've been in there a while. Heh, I'll be honest, you're the last person I expected to see tonight."

She cringed. "I didn't mean to scare you," she mumbled.

"What? No, no, it's great that you're out of your room finally! We've all been so worried about you. Want me to go get everyone else? They're all dying to see you."

She shook her head. "I'm not ready to see everyone just yet. I was just going for a walk when I heard you in here. I'm not distracting you, am I?"

He smiled warmly at her. "Not at all. I've actually just finished up. Listen, I'm gonna go grab something to drink. Wanna join me? Feels like I haven't seen you in ages."

She accepted his offer and the two headed for the kitchen. Jaune led the way while she kept looking to see if anyone else was around. If someone else saw her, she'd have to leave. One person was all she could manage so far. Luckily for her, they seemed to be the only ones awake.

Ruby sat at the table while Jaune made the drinks, whistling the tune to a song she didn't recognise as he worked. She heard the kettle go off. It sounded like he was making something more than just water. She wasn't paying attention. She had her eyes glued to the table, moving her finger in circular motions on the wood.

After a few minutes, he came back with two cups with steaming hot liquid inside it. She knew that smell immediately. Hot chocolate.

"Voila," Jaune said as he served her. "This oughta warm us up. It's that blend from Vale you like. Turns out we had some lying around. Drink up."

The drink looked so delicious. Her throat suddenly felt parched. She quickly began to drink it and it was only after three big gulps did she realise how hot it was. She started spluttering as her tongue sizzled in her mouth. Her insides burned like she had swallowed lava.

Jaune chuckled in amusement. "Helps if you blow on it first."

At first she glared at him, but after seeing that look on his face she ended up giggling too. That kind of clumsiness reminded her of old times. Times when they were on the road travelling to Mistral, drinking hot drinks over a campfire. For a moment, things almost felt normal again.

Her throat eventually cooled down and she was able to drink it comfortably. "Thanks for this," she told him.

"Not at all. Seeing you out and about at last calls for a celebration. I'm sure you're sick of drinking tap water by now. Plus, I needed a drink anyway."

"I'll say. You looked like you were training hard back there."

He shrugged. "Just because the fighting's stopped for now doesn't mean I can slack off. I need to stay in top shape if I'm gonna support you guys." A small blush crept on his face and he scratched his chin nervously. "Also, Nora's 'Mr Muscles' comment kinda got to me, and I wanna stay that way. It's nice being buff for a change."

She couldn't blame him. He had gotten more muscular lately. She even caught Yang checking out his arms once, something which she scolded her for. Even though her sister insisted she meant nothing by it, she kept her eye on her. There would be no ogling her best friend in this house.

"Why are you training at this hour anyway?"

He shrugged. "It's sorta my routine these days. I like to dedicate one hour in the morning for training and one at night. I don't sleep properly if I've missed out on the nightly one. It's pretty therapeutic for me."

Maybe it was due to her weary mind that stopped her from choosing her next words carefully, but her lips were moving before she could stop them. "It's because it's her video you're watching, isn't it?"

The room was plunged into silence. Jaune's whole body froze. His eyes, expressionless, bored into hers. He blinked slowly as the full force of her words hit him like a tidal wave. She could see his cup shaking slightly in his trembling hand.

"I don't know what you mean," he whispered, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible. But it sounded like his voice was tittering on a high rope. One misstep was all it would take to make him lose control.

Ruby sighed. This had been a long time coming. "You don't have to lie to me," she said gently. "I know you have that video of Pyrrha saved on your scroll. I saw you training to it one night when we were on the road."

His breath hitched. "You saw that?"

"Yeah. I didn't mean to see. I just heard you one night and well… yeah." She put her hand on his. "I haven't told anyone about this."

He looked at her hand then back at her eyes again. She knew she was taking a risk talking about this. But she couldn't ignore this elephant in the room any longer. Once again, she was reminded that she wasn't the only one suffering.

He cleared his throat and looked away slightly. "Thanks for not telling anyone," he mumbled.

"Do Ren and Nora know?"

"No. I don't want them to worry. The last thing I want is them thinking their leader is obsessing over his dead partner."

She squeezed his hand. "They would never think that. We all know what she meant to you. We all know you miss her."

A small, broken chuckle escaped him. "You have no idea." He took in a long deep breath, trying to expel the frustration inside of him. "It's not like that's the only video I have of her. I've got tons of her, Ren and Nora on my scroll. But that video's the only one addressed at _me_. She made that video for me and me alone. Do you have any idea what that feels like?"

She was thankful that she didn't. Her mom's death affected her greatly, but she was still too young to understand what it meant to die. She couldn't begin to comprehend the sheer level of grief he must have been experiencing.

"When I watch that video, I feel closer to her. It reminds me of all the good times we had." His gaze went distant. "And sometimes… sometimes I fool myself. Sometimes I think she's still with us. That she's not gone."

That was worrying. "But she is gone, Jaune," she said firmly. "I'm sorry, but she is."

"I know, I know," he grumbled. "And that's why… when I saw Cinder again… I…"

She could see all of his anger return to him. His cup now shook violently in his hand, with some of the hot chocolate spilling out of it. His knuckles turned white from how hard he gripped it. If he held it any tighter it would probably explode in his hand.

His anger was different from Yang's. Whilst her sister was loud and passionate, he was cold and silent. But they both had the same look in their eyes. He had it, her sister had it, heck, even Neo had it. Revenge looked the same on everyone. She couldn't imagine such a look on her face.

"It's not worth it, Jaune."

He temporarily broke out of his hate-induced trance and looked up at her. "W-What?" he gasped. She could still hear the faint sound of his teeth chattering in his mouth.

"You think I don't know what you're thinking? It's written all over your face." It was too obvious. What else could he be thinking about?

 _Kill Cinder. Get revenge for Pyrrha._

Yeah, that sounded about right. Maybe once upon a time, she had thought the same thing for a fleeting moment. But that was a long time ago. And now she was living with the consequences of such actions.

All his anger left him at once. She could see the moment when his hate disappeared and a horrible feeling of guilt set in. His face dropped and his eyes widened, like he had been caught saying the worst thing possible. "I… I wasn't…" he stammered.

"I don't blame you," she whispered. Who was she to judge him for thinking such a thing? "But take it from me personally. It's not worth it. You'll only do more harm to yourself."

He blinked and went quiet for a moment. Suddenly, he growled and banged his fist on the table. "I'm an idiot," he snarled. "I'm supposed to be supporting you after what happened and then I come out saying shit like this! Goddamn idiot! I'm so sorry, Ruby."

"It's fine," she insisted, quickly putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him from getting up. "I'm the one who brought this up in the first place. And it's nice to see someone as confused about things as I am."

He looked down at her with a small frown. "Confused?" he said in a more softer tone than before. "Ruby… you know what you did was an accident, right?"

Now it was her turn to groan. "That's what everyone keeps telling me. I know Neo was a bad person, and I know what I did was out of self-defence. But it still feels wrong! I don't care how bad Neo was! Her life wasn't mine to take! Maybe I'm stupid for thinking that and maybe the world is better without her. But I… I just don't know anymore!"

That was definitely the most words she had spoken in a while. Her mouth already felt dry. She looked down at her cup, only to find it was empty. He must've caught the disappointed look in her eyes, as he handed her his own. It was nice to see not everything had spilt out of it. She accepted it graciously and took a big sip. Thankfully, it had cooled down this time.

He slowly sat back down in his chair. The two friends were sat side by side again. He was tapping the table with his index finger. She was drinking her hot chocolate quietly. Neither knew who would be the first one to speak.

"This has been a strange time, hasn't it?" he said. She noticed the tiniest of smiles that graced his lips when he said it.

"We're definitely not at Beacon anymore," she giggled. The noise sounded weird coming from her, even if it was quiet and lacking any real humour. She couldn't remember the last time she had laughed.

"Yeah…" His eyes went distant again. "You know, there was a time when I thought I could. When I thought I had it in me. It was during that fight we had when she and Raven showed up. When I saw her again, all I could think about was that final moment with Pyrrha. How scared she looked during those last moments before I never saw her again. That's what made me lunge at her like I did. I wanted to punish her. I wanted to make her suffer like she had suffered."

"When you did that thing with your eyes, I thought I had the perfect chance to. She had dropped to the ground. I had her right where I wanted her. I was gonna bring my blade down on her head and finish her off once and for all. Hell, I almost did it."

Ruby listened sadly. She didn't like to remember that fight. He had come too close to dying by challenging Cinder like that. If it weren't for her silver eyes, he would've suffered the same fate as Pyrrha. He fought with tears running down his face the whole time too. It was a miserable experience for both of them.

"And then… I stopped myself," he whispered. "As I saw my blade getting closer to her face, I no longer saw the monster who destroyed my school and killed my partner. I saw a person. A horrible, twisted person, but still a person. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, especially when I saw that look in her eye. So I pulled back. I let her live, even though I could've stopped her forever back there. I still don't know if I did the right thing or not."

It was a difficult situation. She couldn't lie, if anyone was better off dead, it was definitely Cinder Fall. Neo was bad, but Cinder was another monster entirely. Letting her live seemed like a dangerous idea. She would almost certainly stab you in the back for daring to show mercy.

She wasn't naive. Qrow and Yang's thoughts on the matter did make sense to her. But she wasn't ready to adopt their mindset just yet, nor did she want her friends to. Maybe that was selfish of her, but after everything that had happened, she wanted something to feel normal again.

"What will you do if you see her again?" she asked him.

He hesitated. "I… I don't know," he admitted. "A part of me still wants to do it. To avenge Pyrrha. But I wonder if it's truly what she would've wanted. Would I be doing it for her or doing it for myself? And even though she's a monster, I'm always reminded that she's still a person. I know I can't just let her walk away - she _will_ pay for what she's done. But… I don't know."

That answer relieved her. "My uncle once told me that sometimes killing someone is the right thing to do. That sometimes we have to trust our own judgment if we are to help people."

"Yeah, no offence, Ruby, but your uncle is kind of a douche."

She had to laugh at that. He could join the long list of people who thought. Even her dad was occasionally on the list. "He has a point though. Sometimes people need to be killed so that others can live peacefully. But where is the line? Even if someone is a bad person, what does that make me if I kill them out of hate? Is that justice, or is just me killing because I want them dead?"

She hadn't meant to spill her thoughts like that to him, but he seemed to be the only one who understood her position. His face twisted as he tried thinking of something comforting to say. But how could he when he didn't have all the answers himself?

" _Did_ you hate Neo, Ruby?" he eventually said.

The question felt like an accusation. Guilt pierced her heart as shame washed over her. Gods, what did she sound like right now? She steeled herself before these feelings overcame her. Her gaze hardened.

"I do a little," she reluctantly admitted. "She tried to kill Yang and me. How could I not hate her a bit after that?"

"But you didn't kill her for that reason, did you? It was self-defence."

"Well… yeah. But I've been getting these feelings and thoughts. Could I do it again if I had to? Last time was an accident. If I saw her again though, knowing what I now know, do I have the strength to do it on purpose? More importantly, could I live with myself afterwards?"

Her last nightmare had horrified her. Not because of the imagery, but because of what she had done. What she had become. She had brutalized Neo again and again in that hellish land. Who's to say that wouldn't one day become a reality? She once read a quote saying dreams were a window to the soul. If that was true, then she was already blackened.

She really didn't want to be a monster.

Jaune didn't seem deterred by this. He was actually looking at her with a smile on his face. It almost looked happy. "I think the same thing every time I think about Cinder," he said. "I hate her, and yet I don't know what to do with her. The answer should be obvious, but I'm still struggling with it." He reached over and ruffled her hair. "But I guess that should be expected with people like us, eh, Crater Face?"

Her eyes widened. Crater Face? She had forgotten about that stupid nickname a long time ago. Her lips twitched. Suddenly, she was smiling. Her mouth opened and before she knew it, she was laughing alongside him. "Speak for yourself, Vomit Boy!" she laughed, pushing his hand away and lightly slapping him on the shoulder.

It was an exhilarating feeling. Being able to laugh again felt like slipping into a warm bath. She felt clean, like she was back to her old self. What a weird situation this was. Only people as dumb and dorky as them could ever find themselves confused like this. Maybe she had finally succumbed to madness? If that was true, she hoped to enjoy this part of it a little while longer.

Eventually, their laughter died down. She found herself feeling exhausted again. That one moment of joy had drained her, like she had just experienced happiness for the first time. She leaned in and rested her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her and held her close.

"Thanks for spending time with me like this," she yawned.

"No problem. I told you, we all miss you, Ruby. We don't want you to stay cooped up in your room. If you need us, just say it. We'll always be here for you."

Her chest felt warm. One of these days, she'd show her face to everyone again. She longed to see the rest of her friends too. She just had to wait until she was finally ready.

"For the record…" she said in between drowsy mumbles, "... I'm really happy you didn't kill her."

She could feel him stiffen for a moment. "Yeah, me too," he muttered. "I don't think that's who I am."

A thought suddenly struck her. She leaned away from his arm and looked him dead in the eyes. "Jaune," she said slowly in a small voice. "Do you think I'm a killer?"

Time stood still as the two friends locked gazes. Jaune didn't even blink. So frozen was he when the question was thrown at him. She couldn't tell what he was thinking behind those blue eyes that had looked so warm moments ago. She felt lightheaded. Was she holding her breath? Probably. But making any noise right now seemed like a mistake.

And then he spoke. When they had last been talking, his voice had been much like hers; shaky, confused and a little quiet. But the word that left his lips was firm and confident, like it was the most important thing he had ever said in his life. From the look on his face, no one would dare question his authority on the matter.

"No."

Tiny tears crawled out from the edge of her vision. "I don't think you are, either," she smiled. And then she leaned in even closer to him, wrapping her arms around his body. She was so tired, she didn't have the strength to properly hug him. Luckily, his strength was more than enough as he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

She shut her eyes and they remained closed for the rest of the night.

[/]

 _Here we go again._

 _She wasn't surprised when she found herself in the nightmare again, nor when she saw Neo rising out of the river of blood. Coming here was like flogging herself: the initial anguish wore off the more you got used to it. She was locked in this sick routine every time she fell asleep._

 _The monster scythe was once again in her hand. She could feel its hunger bellowing deep inside the twisted metal. It had enjoyed itself the last time its master was here. Now it was ready for another feast. It had acquired a taste for blood and was craving for more._

 _She tightened her grip on it in frustration. No! It wouldn't be like last time. She was in control now. She forced her will onto the scythe, pushing back the internal voice emitting from the weapon. Its howls of hunger were quickly smothered into a low whimper. Even its blade seemed to dull a little._

 _She steeled herself and glared at Neo. "Well? What are you waiting for?" she growled. She readied her weapon. "Let's go!"_

 _Neo cocked her head and began to walk slowly towards her. Her movements were sluggish and her arms flopped at her side, like her whole body was made of jelly. Every step looked like a huge effort on her part. Frustration boiled inside Ruby as Neo slumped her way through the river of blood. Was this a joke to her? Even in her own nightmares, the girl found new ways to taunt her._

 _Neo unsheathed her blade when she was close enough and lunged at Ruby. Though perhaps 'lunged' was the wrong word. It was more like a stumble in the form of an attempted attack. It was pathetic. A child swinging a sword for the first time could attack better than that. Ruby barely had to doge. A simple step to the side was all that was needed to avoid the attack._

 _The momentum of her missed attack worked against Neo. She lost her footing and fell face-first into the blood. She laid there for a few moments before picking herself back up again. She tried another attack, this time an overhead swing. She didn't even get close. She slipped backwards and was sent splashing in the blood again._

 _A low snarl emitted from Ruby's grinding teeth. 'Awful' didn't begin to describe Neo's fighting skills. This was like how a clown acted to make people laugh, except here it infuriated her. Neo was a thousand times more skilled than this pitiful display. This pathetic attempt at fighting was an insult. What was the matter with her?_

 _And then she saw it. Neo's face was dripping with blood, making it hard to see her features. But she did see the way those lips of hers were stretched into a small smile._

 _She was doing this on purpose._

 _She was deliberately fighting poorly to get a reaction from her. It was working. The monster scythe felt her frustration and called to her. It begged her to punish the psychopath for tormenting her this way. She could feel its words, dripped in the sweetest of poisons, pour into her mind, guiding her hands to-_

 _-NO!_

 _Once again, she pushed the voices back into the darkest part of her mind. She would not give in so easily! Sweat dripped down her face. It was a struggle keeping herself in check. The cage she had built to contain her emotions and desires was filled to burst. It would be so easy to let them free. It was bound to happen eventually._

 _But she had to better than that. So instead, she met Neo's mocking face with a leer. "Get serious!" she snapped._

 _Neo looked up at the pitch-black sky and tapped her chin, as if thinking it over. She really was doing everything she could to goad her. Ruby took deep breaths. She was okay for now, but if this went on for any longer…_

 _And then Neo finally attacked. A true and proper attack, aiming right for her chest. Ruby had to block this one. Neo followed it up with a jab to her shoulder and the fight commenced._

 _It was still too easy. Neo's jabs had more effort in them than last time, but they lacked her style and speed. Every move was predictable and she left too many holes in her guard. She had ascended from 'fool with a weapon' to 'common amateur'. Ruby was quite certain she could fight this one-handed if she wanted to._

" _I said, get serious!" Ruby snarled after blocking another failed strike. Right now, all she was doing was blocking. She dared not attack back, even if it would be so easy for her. Because that's what Neo wanted. She wanted her to get angry and lash out. Manipulative little monster…_

 _All of a sudden, Neo started attacking in ways she expected her too. Her speed picked up and her technique drastically improved. Ruby gasped. The change had happened so quickly, her eyes could barely keep up. She frantically blocked the strikes coming her way and was forced to adapt. With this assault, she couldn't remain on the defence any longer. She had to attack._

 _When the next strike came, Ruby countered it and knocked Neo off her guard. She then swung the scythe for an attack of her own. The look on Neo's face filled her heart with dread as she realised she fell for her trap. Those attacks were bluffs! She wanted her to do this!_

 _With her defence shattered, Neo stood with her arms stretched upon, ready to embrace the strike with her whole body. A mad smile stretched across her face._

 _FFWIP!_

 _The sound of air being sliced echoed throughout the nightmare. Using all her reflexes, Ruby had just managed to pull the scythe away at the last second. It had grazed past Neo and landed in the blood. She could feel the scythe's roars of despair having being robbed of a kill._

 _Ruby held it with trembling arms. She inhaled and exhaled deeply as she tried to expel the horror curdling inside her. That was too close. If she had been a few seconds too late… that was too close. She nearly collapsed to her knees as the weight of her actions almost crushed her. Her eyes were wide and unblinking. This was the cruellest of punishments Neo was capable of._

 _Speaking of Neo, she looked up and saw her going back to acting like a fool. Her movements were sluggish and sloppy again. Rage rose to the surface. She picked herself up and stormed towards her. The scythe responded to her fury and begged for one last chance for vengeance._

 _She threw it away to the side._

 _She stood before Neo fuming. Neo attempted one last strike with her blade. It was so weak that Ruby was able to slap it away, knocking the blade out of her hand. She grabbed Neo by her collar and pulled her close. Neo accepted this without resistance._

" _What do you want from me!?" Ruby screamed. Small droplets of spit hit Neo's face. "Why are you doing this!?"_

 _As always, Neo remained silent. Ruby didn't know what infuriated her more; the lack of response, or the utterly neutral look on her face. Expressionless. Neo feared nothing in this world. This was her domain. She had taken root in her mind and Ruby was nothing but her plaything._

 _What could she do? She couldn't fight her. She couldn't reason with her. There were only two options available: kill her and live as a monster, or die alone and frightened. Whatever choice she chose, Neo would always win. She'd keep coming back here and Neo would keep toying with her until one or the other died. Either way, Neo would always be the victor._

 _What an exhausting thing to realise. Who knew you could get tired in a dream? She felt her hold on Neo loosen. Her expression softened._

" _What am I going to do with you?" she sighed._

 _Neo smiled again. She tilted her head up, exposing her neck. She ran a finger across her throat…_

 _Ruby shoved her away angrily and the dream ended._

* * *

 **We are halfway through the story now. How exciting. This has been a joy for me to write. We gotta make horror popular in the RWBY fanfiction, people!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I know, I know, it's been a while, shut it! You can kill me later.**

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 **Cover art -** **MRK50**

* * *

As always, there was a knock at her door.

Ruby answered it. Standing in the doorway was a meek-looking Oscar. He had always been nervous, but he never had trouble meeting her eyes before. He did now, and Ruby knew it was her fault. She probably looked like a monster in his eyes.

"Hey, Ruby," he said, his voice shaking slightly. "Um, Ozpin wants to talk with you."

Ruby frowned. "Ozpin wants to see me?"

"Yeah. He said it was important, and that, um, I shouldn't take no for an answer."

Ozpin wanted to talk to her? That was either really good or really bad. It was hard to tell with him.

"I guess I can talk to him," she said, though she wasn't looking forward to it.

"Great. Oh, and…" He looked up and met her eyes, sympathy written all over his face. His gaze was weary, but he forced himself not to look away. "I just want you to know I'm sorry about what happened. That's a... tough thing to deal with. I can't imagine what you must be going through."

Everyone was sorry, Oscar. Everyone was sorry.

Oscar closed his eyes and a veil of green energy surrounded him. The sudden transformation always fascinated Ruby. The body never changed, yet she was looking at a completely different person as Ozpin's personality took over. When he opened his eyes again, it was Ozpin looking at her. His posture straightened, exuding with confidence only the former headmaster possessed.

He smiled at her. "Ah, Ms Rose. It's good to see you again. You look well."

That wasn't saying much, though she did feel better compared to last time. She was still too pale and withdrawn for her own good, but at least she could still talk to people.

She returned his smile with a smaller one. "Thanks, Professor. I've been… eating."

He chuckled. "That's good to hear. Anyway, I'm sure you're wondering what this is all about. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like a moment of your time."

She shrugged. "I don't mind. But what for?"

"I'm glad you asked. I was hoping we might spar today."

Ruby blinked dumbly. "Professor?" she asked, completely thrown off by the question.

"I think it's safe to say we're both a little out of practice. You've been in your room for days, and I've spent the last few months busy being dead. We need to 'get back on the horse', as they say."

Ruby felt conflicted. Sparring was the last thing she wanted to do right now. Then again, that could be said for most things these days. "I don't think I could give you the practice you need if we fight hand-to-hand," she said. "I'd go with Yang if you're looking for a challenge. She's better at fist-fighting then I am."

Ozpin's positivity didn't falter. "I'm well aware of your sister's fighting capabilities, but I don't want to face her today. I want to face you. And I never said anything about fighting hand-to-hand."

"But how else would we fight?"

His eyes twinkled. "How else? With our weapons, of course."

Ruby's face dropped. Was she still dreaming, or was he just raving mad? Because there was no way a sane real person would suggest what he said.

"W-With our weapons?" she stammered. She couldn't hide the horror in her voice.

"Indeed," he beamed back. "I've never had a chance to duel against Crescent Rose before. Scythe-wielders are a rare breed. I'm very much looking forward to it.

 _A pale throat caked in blood played in her mind. Tearful eyes filled with pain and rage glared at her before they went vacant and lifeless._

Ruby took a step back. "Professor Ozpin… I don't think that's a good idea."

"Of course it is. What hunter would pass up on the opportunity to train? Even when you're my age, you need all the practice you can get if you want to help people."

"B-But I… I…" She frantically tried to come up with an excuse. Nothing came to mind. "If you wanna fight someone with a scythe, ask my uncle. I'm not-"

"I told you, I'm not interested in sparring with anyone else today. I only want to fight you."

There was a hardened look in his eyes. He wasn't going to budge on this. He hadn't asked her to spar with him - he told her that she was.

 _Metal sliced through flesh like paper._

She shook her head wildly and covered her face with her hands. "No! Professor, please! I can't!"

"'Can't' or 'won't'?" came the patient voice of the professor.

She froze.

"Are you refusing my invitation because you want to, or because you have to?" he repeated. "Which one is it, Ms Rose?"

Ruby turned her back to him. "Professor, that's not fair," she muttered.

Ozpin sighed. "I know. Nothing about your situation is fair. The life of a hunter rarely is. That said, I cannot allow you to wallow away in your own misery forever. I will have failed you as a teacher if I do, even more than I already have. Which is why I must help you overcome this."

"How are you going to do that, Professor? You can't just erase what I did."

"I can start by helping you find your resolve again." His hand gestured to the hallway. "Come. I will help you retrieve your weapon. Then we will discuss things further."

"But Professor-!"

"If it becomes too overwhelming, I'll let you rest and we'll try again another time. But we can't avoid this anymore. You're a huntress, Ms Rose. A huntress does not hide from her fears."

"I'm not hiding…"

"Of course you're not. You're just in pain. But I promise if you let me, I will do everything I can to help you."

Even in the form of a small boy, the professor carried with him an air of authority that made it hard to refuse him, even for someone with her state of mind. The coward's voice in her head pleaded with her to turn around and slam the door in his face. Its words were unsettlingly tempting.

Conflict raged in her head. What would her friends do? What would anyone who was better than her do? Answers bounced back and forth in her head, but deep down she already knew what the correct one was.

Ruby was many things: disgrace, idiot, _killer_ … but a coward wasn't one of them.

With a shaky nod, she let Ozpin lead them to the maintenance room.

The anticipation for what awaited her was dreadful. The walls felt like they were closing in the further they walked. With each step she took, Ruby's breath became more erratic. This must have been how a prisoner felt as they were dragged to the gallows.

They arrived at the maintenance room. Ruby had closed the door the last time she was there. Someone else had left it wide open. Fate was torturing her today.

Lying a few feet away from the open doorway was the object of her anguish - Crescent Rose. This whole set up reminded Ruby of one of those crime museums where the weapons of dead murderers would be on display for the public.

However, unlike those museums, this killer was still standing.

"Here we are then," Ozpin said, turning his head to her. "I know this is difficult for you. Do you want to go in first or would you like me to?"

 _Don't be a coward! That's the least you can do!_

Ruby didn't say a word as she slowly walked past Ozpin and into the room. She didn't look at him. Her eyes were locked on her weapon.

She couldn't get over how clean it was. There wasn't a spec of dust on it. If she squinted her eyes though, she could still see the blood and flesh tainting the blade.

The smell, however, still lingered around it, at least to her. Her nostrils twitched. No amount of air freshener could hide that stench. Rust.

Her heart hammered in her chest the closer she got to it. It wasn't right. It was just lying there on the table. Harmless. She was waiting for it to spring to life and lunge at her neck. Her skin felt very sensitive all of a sudden.

Ozpin brushed past her. His touch snapped her out of her trance. Her eyes stung and she squeezed them shut. She hadn't blinked once when she was staring at the scythe.

His hand tenderly stroked it. Before, she would've never allowed someone else to touch her weapon. "Impressive, isn't it?" he smiled. "Crescent Rose truly is a marvellous weapon. A little complex for me, but you can't deny the genius behind the design. You must have spent years perfecting it."

"It was my life," she mumbled.

"A life well spent. Your weapon is one of kind. You should be proud of it."

"Proud of something that killed someone?" She couldn't hide the bite in her voice.

Ozpin paused. "What happened to you was unfortunate," he said in a gentle tone. "But you shouldn't let that soil how you see Crescent Rose. It saddens me to see you so wary of it."

"You don't want to know how I see it, Professor." Images of the nightmare scythe flickered before her eyes. "You think I enjoy feeling this way? How am I supposed to see it any other way after what happened?"

Ozpin sighed. "My dear, I'm afraid there's no such thing as a weapon that doesn't kill. Even my beloved cane has the power to end lives - be it man or Grimm alike. It is simply their nature to do harm. You must never forget that."

"But we are not weapons, Ruby. You and I, we're not bound by what nature intended for us. We're different. We have the freedom to make our own choices. Let me ask you something: what were you thinking when you were designing Crescent Rose? What did you intend to use it for?"

 _Twelve-year-old Ruby sat at the workbench, covered in grease and sweat. Old blueprints sat before her with notes scribbled on them. How many prototypes had she gone through yet? Ten? Twenty? More?_

 _They told her it wasn't going to work. That the design was too crazy to be used effectively. Even her uncle had warned against letting her imagination get the better of her. They all annoyed her. She wasn't stupid and this wasn't a game! She knew she was getting closer. She could feel it. Next time would be the right one._

 _She took another sip of her energy drink (her dad still wouldn't let her drink coffee) and got back to work. The transformation feature had failed with the last one - the blade of the scythe got stuck in the sheath. An easy fix. She scribbled down some notes._

 _Her weapon would see the light of day. She felt giddy just thinking about it._

"Um… I was thinking about how much good it would do," she told him. "I was thinking of all the people it would protect. Of all the lives it would save."

"In other words, you never made it to hurt anyone?"

"Of course not."

A little of Ozpin's happy demeanour from earlier returned. "I didn't think so. You're not a violent person. Everything you've done so far, you've done for the good of your fellow man. Your intentions have always been pure of heart.

Cute words. Fat lot of good they did for the dead.

"What does that matter, Professor?" she groaned. "Who cares about my intentions? Neo is still dead and I still killed her- I used _Crescent Rose_ to kill her. Good intentions won't bring her back to life."

Ozpin paused and pulled that face people did when they were deep in thought. It suddenly occurred to Ruby that she was technically getting lectured by a fourteen-year-old boy somehow shorter than her. She kept her revelation to herself.

"You weren't expecting Neo that night," he eventually said. "I imagine it took you completely by surprise. Why wouldn't it? When Neo had you cornered, what were you thinking at the time?"

"I wasn't thinking about killing her if that's what you're asking!"

"We both know you would never think that. Please, try to remember if you can."

With reluctance, she forced herself to focus on the memory of that terrible night. She always got flashes of what happened every day, but having to pay attention to those little slices of horror was torturous. Her mind felt like a sewer with her memories being the sludge that cluttered up the place.

"I wasn't really thinking anything," she muttered. "All I knew was that I wanted to live. I didn't know how and I didn't care. I panicked."

"And in your panic, you switched your mind off," Ozpin said. "You let your instincts take over."

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone…"

"But you didn't want to die either."

Ruby answered him with silence.

Ozpin turned his gaze to Crescent Rose again. "Ruby, when you delivered the killing blow that night, Crescent Rose was doing the only thing it knew how to do: kill your enemies. Much like semblances, weapons are extensions of ourselves. Without our will guiding them, they will always be tools of destruction."

"I get it," she growled. "Neo got killed because I lost control and let my weapon do the talking. You're saying I'm careless. Someone like me shouldn't be around weapons."

"No, not at all. You _did_ act without thinking that night, but that's normal. You were ambushed and seconds away from getting killed. I doubt anyone could keep a level head given the circumstances."

"That doesn't make me feel better, Professor."

"I didn't expect it would," he said in a solemn voice. "But then again, there's little I can say that can ease your pain of that night. I'm sure you've heard everyone say it wasn't your fault by now, haven't you?"

"Are you gonna tell me they're wrong?"

Ozpin shrugged lightly. "What happened, happened. There's no point debating whether it was right or wrong. We could be here all day if we did."

Ozpin had an amazing ability to answer questions by saying nothing at all…

"That said, I don't think you should blame yourself. You're feeling guilty about what happened. That already puts you leagues above others who have killed. Rather than let your pain consume you, take it as a lesson that all life is sacred and that you - a huntress - have a duty to protect it."

He put his hand on her back and gently pushed her towards the table. He had to. Her legs were stiff, like she had been standing in cement. Her reflection stared back at her from within the scythe's blade.

"This is the first step," he told her. "You cannot defend people without your weapon. Likewise, Crescent Rose would be a useless hunk of metal without you. It is only by working together can you accomplish your mission. But it starts by reclaiming what is yours."

An invisible hand squeezed its fingers around her throat. She was standing at a crossroads; one path lead to further anguish and death, the other would have her flee to a life of shame and cowardice. It should have been easy choosing which path to take.

It wasn't.

Nausea swirled inside her as she reached out a shaky hand to touch her weapon. Red instantly flooded her vision. She shut her eyes and tried desperately in vain to seal away the memory. It only made it worse.

She pulled her hand back gasping for breath. Crescent Rose was still lying motionless on the table, spotless. It was all a lie. Underneath that polish was a stain that could never be removed.

She felt Ozpin's hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"I don't think I can do this, Professor," she whimpered. "Every time I look at Crescent Rose, all I can think about is what happened that night. I can't help it, it never stops!"

Ozpin's hand squeezed a little tighter. "I understand. It's unfortunate that such a foul memory haunts you. But you mustn't let it shape your entire view of your weapon. You have others to look back on, yes?"

" _Sheesh, Qrow wasn't kidding," her dad whistled. "You really went above and beyond designing your weapon."_

 _Ruby wore an ear-splitting grin as she held her weapon up proudly. After years of hard work and restless nights, she had finally completed the finished model of her weapon - a huge scythe that was part sniper rifle._

" _Look at the size of that thing!" Yang cried. "It makes Ember Celica look puny. How are you supposed to fight lugging that thing around?"_

" _I've adjusted the weight and balance perfectly," Ruby said, smug satisfaction rich in her voice. It was earned. Not only had she built the most complex weapon in her year (possibly in the whole of Signal) but it worked beyond her expectations. "When Grimm and bad guys get a look at her, they're gonna run and never look back."_

" _No kidding," Tai nodded. "I wouldn't wanna be on the receiving end of that thing. How did Qrow react?"_

" _Same as everyone else - he went wide-eyed and quiet for a moment. I don't get it, he uses a scythe too."_

" _Probably because he's seeing a little girl wielding something twice the size as her," Yang said._

" _Hey, don't call me little, and don't call my baby a thing!" Ruby pouted. "She's not some meaningless object! She's more than that!"_

" _I will say, it looks very impressive," her dad said. She was glad to see someone understanding how special her weapon was. "Have you decided on a name yet? Every good weapon should have a name."_

 _Ruby froze. Aw, crumbs! Hours slaving away making sure everything worked right and she hadn't even considered what to name it? How stupid could she be? This was worse than forgetting to name your own child!_

 _She studied her weapon. A name was very important. It had to stand out, but also suit the weapon it was given to. Anything inappropriate would send the wrong message. She knew one boy at Signal who named his pistol Doomfire Thunderblaze. Even she thought that was a bit too much._

 _Naming it something red seemed appropriate. Crimson Harvester? Nah, that sounded too violent. Scarlet Scythe? A little better, but including the word 'scythe' in the name seemed lazy. Geez, she could figure out a way to combine a scythe and a sniper rifle into a working, functioning weapon but she was struggling with just a simple name! Her creative streak was about as reliable as a local bus._

 _And then it suddenly clicked._

" _I got it!" she announced. "From this day forth, she's called Crescent Rose!"_

 _It seemed so obvious. It was the shape of her weapon's blade and her last name was Rose. Roses were red, and Crescent Rose was her weapon. It made sense for it to be named after her. It also made her feel closer to mom. She was, after all, one of her inspirations for becoming a huntress._

" _Crescent Rose, huh?" her dad said, testing the name. "Good name. I like it."_

" _Yeah, but that's not what I would've named it," Yang said._

" _What would you have named it?" Ruby asked._

" _Oversized-scythe-that's-way-too-big-for-its-user of course."_

 _Ruby spent the rest of day demanding Yang to take her weapon seriously, otherwise she'd be Crescent Rose's first target._

The memory faded and she was dragged back to the present. "I have loads," she murmured.

"I thought so. Those are the ones you must focus on. Remember what Crescent Rose was designed for and it shall be so. A weapon is only as noble as its wielder. And you, Ms Rose, are a very noble person."

A noble person…

Something about that statement caused her arm to move on its own. Even if her heart wasn't ready to accept it as true, a part of her wished it to be. Slowly, her hand reached for her weapon again.

Soft fingers brushed against steel.

She held her breath, shut her eyes and counted to ten, waiting for her nerves to pass her. She couldn't feel Ozpin's hand on her shoulder anymore. It felt like the only thing in the room was herself and her weapon.

She opened her eyes once her heart stopped racing. Her fingers were clenched tightly around the handle. She exhaled slowly and loosened her grip. Her head felt lighter than before.

She stared at the weapon in her hand. It didn't slice of her fingers or lunge for her throat. It didn't even look like the monster scythe in her dreams. It was Crescent Rose. Her masterpiece.

Very slowly, she lifted the scythe off the table. It still fit perfectly in her hand even after all this time away from it. It felt cold. Whoever was looking after it had done a good job keeping it clean, but they didn't give it the love she always gave it. A sign of neglect. Her weapon was lonely.

With a flick of her wrist, the scythe collapsed into its compact form. She cradled it in her arms like a baby.

" _Wesley Copper's aura is in the red! The winner is Ruby Rose!"_

 _Ruby leapt into the air, the feeling of her victory acting as a springboard. She had won! She had won her first fight! This was amazing!_

 _Her peers at Signal gave her a lazy applause. They didn't care who won the match, this was just another lesson to them. It didn't matter, she was too happy to care. At least Yang was putting effort into it. She could hear her sister cheering her name from miles away._

 _And it was all thanks to her baby. Ruby had been quick, but Crescent Rose had done all the hard work. She couldn't have won without her._

 _She hugged the huge scythe and spun on the spot. "We did it!" she squealed to her weapon. "I knew we could do it!"_

 _She was vaguely aware of the other students muttering under their breath, no doubt about how weird she was for treating her weapon like a person. She got it all the time._

 _Let them snigger. They hadn't poured passion and hard work into their weapons, not like her. Crescent Rose was more than just a weapon, it was her partner. And together they would take on the entire world._

 _She saw her beaming face in the blade's reflection smiling back at her. She was so proud of her. This was only the beginning for the two of them._

Nostalgia overwhelmed her. Ruby looked at the weapon - her weapon - in her arms. She didn't see a murder tool covered in blood, nor a twisted mockery of her steel companion. She saw the same weapon she loved with all her heart. The weapon she swore to use for the betterment of mankind.

To think she had left it all alone like this…

Her knees buckled and she collapsed to the floor. She held it tightly to her chest. "I'm sorry," she whispered, tears dripping down her face. "I'm so sorry."

Had she been alone, she would've spent the whole day apologizing. However, the sound of footsteps reminded her that Ozpin was still in the room. She looked up and saw him with a small but proud smile on his face.

"You're making progress already," he said. "Whenever you're ready, we'll make even more."

He handed her a tissue which she used to wipe her face. Her other hand was still clinging to her Crescent Rose. She'd never let it leave her sight again.

She picked herself up off the floor and followed him out of the room.

[/]

The sun's rays did little to warm her. Having locked herself away in her room for days, she wasn't used to being outside again. She had forgotten how fresh the air was outside of her room. She shivered and wrapped her cloak around herself to keep warm.

"What lovely weather we're having," Ozpin said, not feeling cold in the slightest. He even had his sleeves rolled up. "A fine day for a friendly spar, wouldn't you say?"

She had to squint to get a good look at him. The cheap lights in her room were nothing compared to the almost-blinding sunshine. With no clouds in the sky, there was nothing to stop its rays beaming down on her. She pulled her hood over her head to get some shade.

In the meantime, Ozpin had assumed a fighting stance. He stood sideways with his back straight and his cane pointing at her. "Let's not delay, Ms Rose. Show me what you can do."

Ruby's fingers gripped her weapon nervously. Even after reuniting with her weapon, she still wasn't sure about this. "How long do you want this to go on for?"

"Until I feel like we've both had a sufficient amount of exercise. This is not a combat lesson. There is no winner or loser to be had here. Think of this as a chance for us to develop our skills. You and I both know you need to get your body moving again. Now please, let us begin. I invite you to have the first hit."

Ruby repeated his words in her head to ease her nerves. This was just an exercise. No one was going to get hurt. She had been leaning against her weapon like a crutch, but she quickly adjusted herself so that she was ready to fight.

"Impressive. You still handle Crescent Rose very naturally," he noted. "Your form could use some work though. Your body's far too tense to be effective."

She sighed. He was right. Her legs were trembling and her fingers were gripping Crescent Rose far tighter than what they needed to. She had hoped he hadn't noticed.

"I'll try to relax," she told him, but she knew that wasn't the problem. Her gut was forcing her to stay where she was. She knew loads of different ways to close the distance between him and her, but her instincts were holding her back like a dog on a chain.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," he said in a serious voice. "I am not the woman who attacked you that night. You are not in any danger."

She shook her head. "It's not that, Professor. I just… I don't want to hurt you."

He smiled reassuringly at her. "That's very considerate of you. But I've been a huntsman for quite some time now. I know how to defend myself. Rest assured, it won't be easy landing a hit on me."

The same thing could be said about Neo. All it took was one misstep for everything to go horribly wrong…

Ruby buried the thought away. This wouldn't be like last time. She believed in Ozpin… and she believed in herself enough not to hurt him. She steadied her arms and legs and prepared for combat.

She quickly charged at him and raised Crescent Rose for an overhead strike. Isolation hadn't hindered her skills in the slightest. Her scythe cut through the air, heading straight for its mark.

Ozpin vanished and Neo suddenly stood before her!

Ruby gasped and quickly pulled back on her attack. The sudden change in momentum caused her to trip and skid against the dirt. Her grip on Crescent Rose released and the weapon fell to the side. She laid on the ground, eyes wide and lungs sucking in cold morning air.

Damn it!

When she looked up again, Ozpin was quickly running towards her. And it _was_ Ozpin this time, not the hallucination her stupid mind had conjured up. He knelt down next to her looking worried.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "What happened just now?"

Ruby's fingers dug into the ground, leaving lines in the dirt behind them as she clenched her hand into a fist. She hated the state she was in. "I thought… I thought I saw…"

"You saw her again, didn't you?"

Ruby had no response.

Ozpin gave her a hand. She took it and he dragged her up on her feet again. She had a hard time meeting his eye. She felt so stupid. "Professor, you've seen how I am. You know I can't fight like this."

"Nonsense, of course, you can. Your mind is just stuck in the past. That's what happens when you isolate yourself - you spend too much time focusing on memories. All you need is a distraction."

"What kind of distra- ow!"

Ruby rubbed her arm after Ozpin had poked it with his cane.

"What was that for?" she cried.

"It's a distraction," he said with a cheeky smile on his face. "You keep losing yourself in memories. I need you focused on here and now."

"How's this supposed to- ow!" He did it again. "Stop it!"

"You'll have to make me," he said. Then he jabbed her in her ribs.

Ruby gritted her teeth, sucking in her frustration. "Professor, I _will_ attack you if you keep doing this," she warned.

Ozpin's smile fell. "Was that a threat, Ms Rose?" he said quietly.

"Yes."

His smile immediately returned. "It didn't work." Then he poked her so hard in the stomach, she actually stumbled back.

That was the last straw. With a yell, she twirled the scythe in her hand and swung the blade his way. Then she felt her whole world freeze as she helplessly watched the blade get closer to him.

Panic overwhelmed her. What had she done? It was happening all over again! It-

But before the metal could slice through him, Ozpin effortlessly blocked the strike with his cane. With one arm tucked behind his back, he kept her scythe steady in the air. He was still smiling.

"Try again," he said. He moved the scythe away and pushed her back, nearly causing her to trip over herself.

Ruby regained her footing and glared at him. "What's the matter with you?" she snapped. "Are you trying to make me mad?"

"That would be ideal," he admitted. "I look at you and I see a girl who's bottled up more than she can handle. You can't keep harbouring those negative thoughts inside you forever. You need an outlet. Well, here I am." He pointed his cane at her. "Let it all out, Ms Rose. Give me everything you've got, and try to hit me if you can…"

This was a side of Ozpin she had never seen before. If he still had his grey hair, he would've looked like your typical mad scientist. Ruby was beginning to wonder which one of them needed help the most.

But he was right about one thing: she was ready to explode with all the shame and frustration twisting inside her head. It was a miracle she wasn't a lighthouse beacon for every Grimm in Mistral yet. She still wasn't convinced that this would help her, but she had come this far already. Even a slow start was better than none.

She tried thinking of something pleasant to get her motivated. She thought of the times she sparred with her family, with her teammates and friends. She remembered how fun it was.

That helped. She found the confidence to move forward again, and once close enough, she swung for his chest. Despite Ozpin's encouragement, It was still a weak strike. Her arms moved sluggishly, like she was trying to drag them through water.

Ozpin easily side-stepped out of the way and pushed her back. "Missed," he said.

Grunting, Ruby tried to catch him off guard by swiping at him, but then she felt her muscles lock into place. Another failed attack, one he easily exploited. A single tap with his cane was all that was needed to push Crescent Rose away. He followed it up by jabbing her back in the stomach.

"Missed again," he said. "Come now, you're making this too easy. Show me what you're really capable of."

"I can fight better," she snarled. "I just-"

"I don't want you to fight better. I want you to fight angry. Take a page out of your sister's book and let loose." He tapped the ground with his cane. "Do your worst! Claw, spit, curse my name, release the beast! Unleash everything you have until there's not a single thought left in your head! Now hurry up and attack me already!"

Everything about Ozpin, from his attitude to his words, revved up a side of her that had, until recently, laid dormant. Who did he think he was, mocking her like this and telling her what to do? He had no idea what she had been through! Her fighting streak flared like the breath of a dragon.

He wanted angry? She'd give him angry!

With a furious roar and a boost from her semblance, she burst forward with the speed of a bullet. This time she would show him just how strong she really was. She swung her scythe and this time there was no restraint, no caution. She even fired a shot to give her the extra momentum.

Visions of Neo and that night flickered before her. But instead of slowing her down, it amplified her anger. She was so sick of it! Sick of everything that had happened, sick of feeling this way! She spun like a crimson tornado, all of her pent-up rage unleashed. Anything in her path would be slashed to ribbons.

"RAAAARGH!"

She knew she wasn't hitting anything. She knew this mad flail of hers was pointless from a tactical standpoint. But she didn't care. She still hacked and slashed at the air with all of her energy poured into each swing. There was a fire in her heart, and this was the only way to snuff it out.

Her blade moved at a frenzied speed, until the energy that had powered her attack gradually declined. Her heels dug into the ground as she slowed herself down. Breathing through her teeth, she held her scythe with shaking hands. She saw a few birds fly overhead, scared off by her outburst.

But there was no sign of Ozpin.

"Now that's more like it," Ozpin said from behind her. She didn't have the energy to turn her head. "That's the kind of fierceness I want to see. How does it feel?"

Her heart was racing. One moment she had been an exploding volcano, now her felt limp and drained. She felt like she could collapse at any second. It was a struggle even to turn around.

But it felt… good. Like she had removed a heavy burden from her shoulders. Her spirit felt lighter.

She looked at Ozpin wearily, but behind those tired eyes, embers sparked. "I gotta do that again," she whispered.

That cocky smile of hers gave her muscles life again. "Then what are you waiting for? You still haven't hit me yet. Have another go."

She smiled back. Unchained by her subconscious mind, she leapt back into battle.

It was hardly the most graceful of spars. She fought like she had never held a scythe before in her life. Her attacks were wild and unfocused. Her technique was virtually non-existent. And yet this didn't stop her from fighting in a way that would make her dad and uncle shake their heads in disappointment. This was a rush she never knew she needed, and she was craving for more.

Ozpin, for his part, spent the entirety of the match dodging. He didn't tell her to work on her technique or to pace herself. He was quite happy to avoid every strike while she flailed around like an animal. He smiled the whole time, although it wasn't cocky in nature like before. It was small and gentle, like he was happy for her.

She lost track of time. The match ended when she finally reached her limit and collapsed to the ground. She lay on her back, arms and legs spread out, breathing hard and drenched in sweat. Unable to move, she basked in the sun's glow.

Ozpin's shadow temporarily shaded her when he walked past her. She couldn't even move her eyes to follow him. No doubt he had more energy than she did. "I think that will be enough for today," she heard him say. "We'll pick up where we left off tomorrow. Who knows, you might even hit me next time."

Ruby's fatigue loosened her tongue. "You're… a… jerk, Professor," she breathed.

Ozpin chuckled. "Well, as long as you're aggression is aimed at me and not at yourself. Speaking of which, that was quite the performance back there. If I didn't know better, I would have thought I was fighting your sister."

"You told me… to… fight angry."

"I did. And you listened. You did very well. Enjoy your rest. You've earned it."

"Might… just do that…"

Neither said a word for a while. Ruby listened to the faint blow of the wind and the sound of birds chirping. It was strange; she had forgotten how noisy the outside world was compared to her room. There was always something to hear, even when all was still.

Ozpin spoke up again. "How are you feeling now, my dear? Be honest with me."

She felt tired- no, completely nonfunctional. She felt like she could blow away in the breeze. She had always been tired ever since that night, so this should've been nothing new.

And yet it was. Unlike before, she wasn't drained due to self-loathing and sleepless nights. She had burned herself out through exercise. It felt good. _She_ felt good. It was the closest she had come to experiencing peace for once.

But still… the memory of what happened still lingered in her head. And without the adrenaline of combat, it soon became the most prominent thought in her head again.

"Well?" Ozpin spoke up again. He was still waiting for an answer. A shame she didn't have a proper one to give him.

"Professor, I'm confused," she sighed. "I don't even know where to start. It's like… I feel like I have so many options laid out before me, and I have to choose which one to take. But it feels like my whole life is depending on which one I choose."

"If a Grimm died every time I've been in the same position, they'd be extinct," Ozpin said. "I don't think there's a single hunter out there who hasn't thought the same thing as you. It is the burden we carry protecting Remnant and its people."

"I don't want to kill again. I don't care how bad a person is, I never want to do that ever again."

"I understand completely."

"But what if I have to?" she groaned. "What if a person really is that bad? Wouldn't killing them be the right thing to do?"

Everyone so far had been way too understanding about what happened to Neo. Hell, Yang even said she was happy Neo was dead. Was the world crazy or was it just her?

Ozpin toyed with the question for a moment and said, "I don't believe I've asked you this before, so I might as well now. What do you think it means to be a huntress?"

The question caught her off guard, but she answered it easily. "To protect people from the evils of this world. To do the right thing. To be a hero."

"And does any of that involve ending lives?"

"No!"

"Very well."

There was a pause.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well, what?"

"Am I right?"

"Right about what?"

"Oh come on, you know what! Is that what it means to be a huntress? Am I right?"

"I'm afraid you're asking that question to the wrong person."

"I'm not in the mood for mind games, Professor," she moaned.

"I am completely serious," he told her. "If I were to ask the same question to someone else, I would more than likely get a different answer. They'd be no more right or wrong than what you are. That answer you have just given me, is that what you honestly believe?"

"Well… yeah. It's what I've believed my whole life."

"Then that is your truth. Believe it. Hold it close to your heart. If you feel that strongly about it, then it must be true."

"I want to believe it," she muttered. "But what if I'm ever in a position where I might have to kill someone again?"

"Then don't."

The bluntness in his tone made her train of thought hit a wall. "It can't be that simple!" she said.

"Why not? Life's complicated enough as it is. There's no reason to make it even more so."

"But… my uncle…"

"Your uncle has his own definition of what it means to be hunter, as do I. The whole world has different beliefs on what is right or wrong. But the truth is, it does not matter what we think - only what we _do_. You believe that killing is wrong? Fine. Never do it again. Act how you think a huntress should act. Set your own example."

Ruby closed her eyes as she processed the information. "I can see his point, though," she said. "There are some people the world could do without. Wouldn't it be dangerous letting them live? Would I be giving them a chance to do terrible things again?"

"There is always that possibility. Every action - no matter how noble it might be - has consequences. It all depends on which one you're prepared to live with."

Ruby held back her groan. There was never a lesson covering something like this at Beacon. She would've stayed awake for it. She would've even taken notes.

"You know, it's funny," she grunted. "I used to think doing the right thing was the easiest thing in the world. Because it's what you're supposed to do. You shouldn't even have to think about it. Now I'm surrounded by all these… these… _variables_! I've never even used the word 'variables' before! That's how complicated this is!"

Ozpin laughed. "It is a struggle, yes. It'd be all too easy for us to just sit back and let the world sort things out itself. But that's not who we are. We have the power to make a huge difference. It'd be wrong for us to simply stand by and do nothing, wouldn't you agree?"

That's pretty much what she had been doing these past few days...

Ruby was glad her gaze was fixated on the sky, because she couldn't look him in the eye for what she was about to ask next. "Professor… you told me once that you had made more mistakes than anyone alive."

"That I have, yes."

"How do you… how do you move on? Doesn't it ever get too much? Do you feel any regret?"

The air felt cold again as silence fell. Ruby couldn't tell what expression Ozpin had on his face. Was he angry? Shocked? Sad? She didn't know if he was going to answer her or just walk away. She felt she could've been more considerate with her wording, but she wanted answers.

Then she heard the sound of footsteps. She tilted her head up slightly and saw that he wasn't leaving. Instead, he was looking over the railing to the surrounding view. He had his back to her.

"There's not a day goes by that I don't regret many of my actions," he said solemnly. "I've spent countless nights awake wondering what could have been - if I had made the right choice. I've paid a price for each of those mistakes, and I carry the scars with me everywhere I go."

"I think about Beacon and how ill-prepared I was for the attack. I think of all the lives I failed to save. I think of Pyrrha Nikos and the responsibility I forced upon her. Most recently, I think of you and how I failed to shield you from such grisly affairs. It's true, I have made many mistakes. But I have even more regrets."

Ozpin had always been a source of mysticism and intimidation to her. He made you feel tiny compared to him every time he spoke. He had the image of a man, and yet the presence of something far greater. Not quite a god, but close enough to one. What was he?

"How do you keep moving forward?" she muttered. "How is all that guilt not eating you up?"

"You're asking me how? Why don't you stand up and look around? See for yourself."

It was easier said than done. Ruby had legs of jelly right now. But she managed to pick herself up and stagger her way over to where he was standing. Thank the Gods for the rail, otherwise she probably would've flopped over the edge like a red sweaty pancake.

Her eyes drank in the beautiful scenery. It truly was a glorious day today. The view their house had of Mistral was breathtaking. The trees, green and vibrant, were given a luscious healthy glow from the sunlight. The mountains were nothing like the ones back home. They pierced the heavens with their gargantuan splendour. If she listened closely, she could hear the lively hustle-and-bustle from the city below.

"Quite the sight, isn't it?" Ozpin said.

"It's beautiful," she said quietly. She had seen it before, but now her eyes felt like they were opening for the first time.

"Couldn't have put it better myself. Never forget what you're fighting for, Ruby. Become the huntress who protects all that she holds dear, the one who cherishes all life. You will make mistakes, but you will learn from all of them. They will help shape you into the huntress you desire to be. And if the world is still looking as magnificent as this, then you must be doing something right."

His words were promising. This was the first time she felt like her ideals weren't just childish fantasies born from a naive mind. It was risky - dangerous even - but she took what he said to heart. She looked down at Crescent Rose.

The huntress who cherishes life? That sounded nice.

"Anyway, I'm sure you're bored of me talking your ear off," he said. "I offer you a fight and I give you a lecture. You've been very patient with me, as has Oscar. You can go now if you wish. Enjoy the rest of the day."

She smiled the most grateful smile she could offer. "Thanks for this, Professor. I think this is what I needed," she said.

"Actually, quick question before you go. Aside from that one slip up, did you think of Neo at all during our fight?"

She blinked. "Uh… come to think of it, no. The memory was always there, but I wasn't really focusing on it. I guess I was distracted."

"I'd keep being distracted if I were you. It's good to see you smiling again."

Then his consciousness disappeared and Oscar returned. The farm boy collapsed to the ground exhausted, muttering something about how annoying Ozpin was for using his body to pull off fancy dodges. Ruby giggled, left him to grumble to himself, and headed back to the house.

There was still plenty of the day left, and Ozpin told her to keep herself distracted. She had something in mind.

[/]

Or maybe this was a bad idea?

Ruby stood at the top of the stairs. Below her, she could hear everyone eating and talking in the kitchen, completely unaware of her. Maybe it was better this way? Maybe she should try again tomorrow?

Ruby exhaled her frustrations in a long, but quiet breath. She couldn't run away from this forever, and she had already made a lot of progress today. Now was as good a time as any.

Slowly, she walked down the stairs, each step creaking underfoot. They still hadn't noticed her yet. She walked closer to the kitchen.

Nora was the first to see her. Eyes going wide, her attention was pulled away from the group. A single, "oh," was all that left her lips.

Everyone turned around to see what she was looking at. Whatever conversation they were having died instantly. Ren even dropped his cutlery in shock.

Ruby felt herself shrinking under their gazes. She had always hated the spotlight. Then again, this was the first time a lot of them had seen her in a while. It was hard to blame them for staring at her like she was something out of this world.

"It's a nice day out," she said slowly. "I was thinking… maybe we should all go out today?"

Ten seconds. That's how long the silence lasted. She felt the time tick slowly in her head as she waited for someone to speak.

It was Weiss who broke it. She fished through her purse and pulled out her credit card. "Anywhere in mind?" she said with a smile.

* * *

 **Dialogue is always tricky for me. I'm always torn between what sounds natural and what sounds in character. Figuring out a balance between the two results in a lot of headaches and rewrites.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I finished most of this chapter when I was in Greece. Because when I write tragedies, I like to do it with the sun on my face, and my feet on the lounger.**

* * *

 **Cover art -** **MRK50**

* * *

Ruby wiped away the steam on the mirror and looked at her face. She looked fresh, in the same way that a rotting carcass looked 'fresh' to a swarm of flies. The shower hadn't done much to improve her looks.

But at least she was clean, and not the sweaty mess she was a few minutes ago. It was her idea to go out to Mistral today, and she wasn't going to walk around looking swampy. Not when her friends were with her.

Now, if only she could do something about her nerves. She was more on edge than a man dangling on the side of a cliff.

"Come on, Ruby, get it together," she told her reflection. "This was your idea, remember? Don't get cold feet now."

She left the bathroom and got dressed. Contrary to popular belief, she did own more than just her combat skirt and boots. This outfit was completely different. The skirt was less frilly and the laces on her boots had red tips. That was different. Totally.

She gave herself one last look in the mirror. Yep, still crap. Time to greet the world. She opened the door and nearly bumped into her sister.

"There she is!" Yang cheered. "How's our resident shut-in feeling today? Is she looking forward to spending time with us commoners?"

Ruby backpedalled away from her over-eager sister. "Yang! Geez, how long have you been waiting out there?"

"Ever since I saw you slink back into your room. I was worried I was gonna have to drag you out for ol' time's sake."

"I was planning on coming back out, you know. I was just freshening up. You could've just waited in the lounge like everyone else."

Yang smirked. "Not a chance, missy. As of today, I'm sticking to you like duct tape. This is the last time you escape my sights again. I'll be the best stalker you'll never see."

"Can't wait," Ruby grumbled.

"And besides, as your sister, you know I have to be the first to see you emerge. Everyone else can see you later, but I get the VIP exclusive. While I'm here, maybe I can help you get ready, or at the very least fix your hair."

Ruby held the top of her head defensively. "W-What's wrong with my hair?"

"I'm kidding," Yang said, rolling her eyes. "You look good. Really good. Way better than what you did last time."

Ruby shrugged. "I mean, I am the one who suggested this, and you've all been patient with me. Making myself presentable is the least I can do."

Yang's lips tightened. She walked over to the open door and locked it shut. When it was done, she sat on the edge of her bed.

"You don't have to do this, you know," she said gently. "You don't have to prove anything to us. If you're not feeling up for it, don't worry about hurting our feelings. We all know what you're going through."

She was nervous about doing this, there was no denying that. Even before that night, she had never been great when it came to socialising. Now, however, it felt like the risks were dialled up to eleven.

But this was more than just a chance to see her friends again. It was a chance to better herself, to overcome her self-destructive attitude. This was too important to back away from.

"Do you remember back when we were kids? When I told you I wished I could swim?" Ruby suddenly asked. "We were standing over the edge of the pool during the summer. It was so hot and all the other kids were in the water. I told you I wanted to join them, but I had no idea how to swim. You remember what you did?"

Yang was taken back by the sudden question. Then a grin stretched across her face. "I pushed you in," she chuckled. "You were splashing around, calling me every nasty name in the book. But then you started swimming alright."

"Yup," Ruby said. "This is the same thing. I need to do this. If I don't do it today, then it will be tomorrow, or the next day. But I'm tired of waiting. When you lost your arm, did you feel any better by staying in your room all day?"

Yang flinched. Her eyes looked down at her prosthetic. "That didn't help at all," she whispered.

"I thought not." Ruby smiled softly at her. "I'm never going to get over what I did. It's always going to be on my mind in some way or another. But I'm never going to heal if I stay here forever. I need to make the first move. It took me getting my butt kicked by a fourteen-year-old to realise that."

Well, technically, Ozpin was a thousand-something, but it was Oscar's body, so it still counted. That poke to the ribs was definitely something a kid would do.

Yang looked at Ruby, her expression glowing with pride. "You know, it took me months to finally get my act together," she said. "Now here you are, already making the right choices. When did you grow up so damn fast?"

"It was easy. I just learned from the strongest person I know." Ruby's eyes were locked on the only person in the room.

Yang froze. She looked away, eyes blinking rapidly. She rubbed them with her fingers. "Goddamn dust, keeps getting in my eyes," she said with a shaky voice. "You really oughta clean this place."

Her room was spotless and she knew it.

Ruby crouched down and hugged her sister, her head resting on her shoulder. Yang's arms wrapped around her and held her close. Her sister always gave the best hugs and this one was long overdue.

"You know I love you, right?" Yang whispered.

"I love you too," Ruby replied, biting back a sob.

"Mom and Dad would be proud."

Ruby's fingers gripped her sister's shirt. No. She wasn't going to cry. This was going to be a happy day, full of smiles and laughter. There would be no tears. She closed her eyes to stop the _dust_ from getting in.

When Yang pulled back, she was grinning again. "Anyway, we've wasted enough time here. Let's not keep the others waiting. You're gonna blow them away."

She was going to be the centre of attention, wasn't she? The thought wasn't so bad. The two of them left to see everyone else. But not before Ruby could get Yang to stop fussing about her outfit. No, she wasn't changing!

[/]

Mistral was one of those cities that looked like it only existed in movies - it was too beautiful to be true. While Vale was a concrete jungle with a sleek but basic design, Mistral was oozing with culture. The buildings, rich and colourful, blended in with the surrounding mountains. The waterfalls sparkled and made the city air fresh and moist. The whole city was a beautiful mixture of nature and modern society.

They were a large group, nine in total. Ruby led from the front, with Weiss and Yang on her left, and JNR and Sun on her right. Blake followed slightly behind the group along with a girl called Ilia. Ruby did try inviting Oscar too, but he was still passed out on the ground when she found him. She moved him into the shade before heading off.

"Hoo-wee!" Sun whistled. "Mistral's still as pretty as I left it!" He looked at JNR. "What is with you guys? You mean to tell me you stayed in that house all this time when you had this on your doorstep?"

"We were planning our next move!" Jaune cried in defence.

"Oh yeah? And what move was that? How to move from the couch to the fridge?" Sun ruffled his hair. "No wonder you're the strategist, genius."

"Hey, when you spend months on the road camping, you'd wanna live it up in a dream house too," Nora huffed, sticking out her tongue.

"Those beds were comfier than our sleeping bags," Ren agreed.

"Exactly!" Nora said. "Some of us like to stay put. We can't all be homeless stowaways, you know."

"At least I've got the skills to sneak onto a boat, rather than having to hike the entire journey," Sun winked.

"I still can't believe you did that," Ilia said quietly.

"What, we're jobless students with our school destroyed. Where were we supposed to get the money for transport?" Jaune shrugged. "Besides, we were dirt broke travelling on foot, and I'd still say we had an easier time getting here than Weiss."

"Just be grateful you had sleeping bags," Weiss grumbled. "Yang, I apologise for all those times I called you a dirty ruffian behind your back. The Branwen Tribe are the real savages."

"None taken- wait, hey!" Yang cried.

Ruby giggled. "We've all been through a lot to get here. I'd say we're all due some time off. We should do something really relaxing for a change. Got any ideas?"

"After all that's happened, I think I could sleep for five years and still wake up tired," Ren sighed.

"No kidding," Nora agreed. "I feel drained. And that's _me_ saying that. A chance to sit down would be nice."

Ruby felt a bit silly for not deciding where to go before leaving. She had been so focused on just getting out of the house, she hadn't planned on what to do when they were actually outside. Going with the flow wouldn't be so bad, but she wanted this to be special. And special times deserve special events.

"I have an idea," Blake said from the back. Her cat ears shrank when everyone turned around to look at her. "Mistral's famous for having some of the best hot springs in the world. If we all wanna relax, perhaps we should go there? Only if you want to, of course."

Blake looked even more awkward when she had finished talking. Her friend Ilia gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, which Blake seemed to appreciate. Everyone looked at each other.

"I'm fine with that," Yang said.

"Yeah, why not?" Sun said. "I've never been to a hot spring before. Should be fun."

"There was one my family used to take me to when I was young," Ren said. "I still remember where it is. Just follow me."

"Well, great," Ruby smiled. "It's decided then. That's where will go." She looked back at Blake again. "Great idea, Blake."

Blake smiled like that was the most flattering thing she had ever heard in her life. She turned to look at Yang, but her sister had her back to her. Blake's cat ears drooped a little again. The nine of them carried on as Ren lead them to the hot spring.

Along the way, Ruby was aware that people were starting to stare at them. This wasn't just her social anxiety acting up either - people were definitely looking at them, and not so subtly either. She had noticed people shooting quick glances at them earlier, but that had changed to full-on openly staring. One guy even stopped dead in his tracks when he saw them walking past them.

And then there were whispers. The people muttered amongst themselves as they watched them walk past. For Ruby, it reminded her of walking through the hallways at Signal - everyone staring at her, judging her, talking to their friends about her. Combine that with the population of a city though, and it was enough to make her want to scurry back to her room.

"Uh, did we do something to offend these guys?" Jaune muttered. "What's with all the wide eyes?"

"I don't think we've done anything wrong," Ruby said, looking around nervously. They were only civilians, but if a fight were to suddenly break out, their numbers would overwhelm them.

Before they could get any further, a man suddenly stepped out in front of them. "Pardon me," he said cautiously. "But are you the hunters that fought against the White Fang that night?"

Ruby waited for someone else to answer. No one did. "Uh, yeah, that's us," she said.

The man sucked in a deep breath. "You… you saved not only our school, but our city too. If it hadn't been for you, we might have suffered like Vale. Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Oh… um, you're welcome-"

Her words were smothered under the thunderous applause that suddenly erupted all around them. The man's words had lit a match inside the crowd, and the once-distant civilians were now clambering over themselves to get a good look at them.

They were swarmed. Ruby almost lost sight of her friends amidst the crowd of people. Their open space had become as narrow as a crime alleyway.

"Thank you, hunters!"

"You saved us all!"

"You showed those terrorists what happens when you mess with Mistral!"

"Holy hell, talk about welcome-wagon," Yang breathed, her arm swinging up and down as someone ecstatically shook her hand.

Ruby couldn't agree more. It was crazy how many people were coming up to thank them. Accepting gratitude from just one person always made her feel funny, but now she was receiving it from a tidal wave of people. It was intense.

But at the same time, it did feel nice. She saw families inside the crowd, elderly people, and what even looked to be former hunters. All types of people were coming up to them to thank them for saving their city. Faunus and human alike looked up to them in admiration. Knowing that she had saved them all…

Yeah… this was good.

A little girl managed to push her way to the front. She couldn't have been more than six. Her eyes were trained solely on Ruby. She looked to be hiding something behind her back.

"Um… I saw you on the news that night," she said in an adorably shy voice. "Aaaaand… you and that scythe of yours were really cool. So…"

She revealed what she was hiding. In her hands was a small drawing of a girl with a red triangle for a body, and in her little stick fingers was what looked like a scythe. She was using it to beat up someone with the words 'baddie' written over their head.

Ruby had to blink three times to make sure she was seeing things correctly. The little girl had drawn her.

"I know, I know, it's not great," the girl said. "But you were so awesome and I wanted to do something. You can keep it if you want."

Ruby slowly took the drawing and held it like it was a precious diamond. It reminded her of those drawings kids would do when asked to draw their favourite superheroes. Only this time, the hero was her. That's how this little girl saw her.

All kinds of emotions overwhelmed her. "I… this is..."

Her mind drew up blanks on what to say. She listened to the crowd for inspiration, but nothing they said would accurately express her gratitude. So, she responded the only way she knew how.

"Thank you."

The little girl beamed like her whole world just lit up. "I wanna be like you one day," she said. Then she darted back into the crowd, nerves catching up with her. She quickly disappeared from sight.

Ruby wished she had gotten her name. Looking at the drawing again, it was exactly how she wished to be perceived by people. Not as an out of control killer, but as someone who protected the innocent. A hero, just like her mother and all other hunters who had come before her. This simple picture reminded her there was still hope for her yet.

She carefully tucked it away in her wallet, making sure not to crease the paper. She would treasure it forever.

"We should probably try to leave," Ren shouted out amongst the crowd.

"Just a minute! I'm not done basking in this glory!" Nora cheered, drinking up the attention like water.

"Ren's right, this is getting a little crowded," Weiss said. Murmurs of agreement came from the rest of the group.

"Fine, fine," Nora groaned. "Sorry, folks. Show's over. Make way. Coming through. Your heroes need a bath."

As they made their way out of the crowd, they ran into more supporters the further they travelled. More and more people were coming out into the streets to thank them. It couldn't be helped. The entire city had seen what they'd done for them.

It was exhausting, but not unpleasant. By the time they reached the spa though, everyone was more than ready for a good rest.

"Now I know how Pyrrha felt when it came to her fans," Jaune said as they made their way to the entrance. "Those guys sure were excited."

"Excited?" Blake said. "The whole city was ready to throw us a parade. 'Excited' is putting it mildly."

"Come on, guys, can you blame them?" Ruby said. "If it hadn't been for us, everything they knew and loved would've been destroyed. We all did a good thing that night."

Blake's gaze lowered. "Suppose we did," she murmured. Behind her, Ilia was staring off into the distance looking troubled.

The lady at the reception desk immediately recognised them when they walked in. That wasn't a surprise. What was surprising though, was when she offered them all a free session. Even when Weiss insisted on paying, she refused, saying it was the least she could do for their city's heroes.

"Sorry, guys," Yang said. "As excited as I know you are about bathing with a bunch of hotties like us, let's keep it modest and go for separate pools."

"Fine by me," Sun laughed, pulling Jaune and Ren into headlocks. "Come on, guys. These abs aren't gonna wash themselves. Ren, you're on soap duty."

Sun dragged the two of them away before either could protest. Blake and Nora watched them go with thirsty eyes.

"You're staring," Weiss pointed out.

"I know!" they both said.

Ruby had never been to a hot spring before. The first thing she noticed was the smell- strong and eggy. She also felt weird getting into a pool naked with other people, even if they were as close as family, and one being actual family.

But any complaints she had washed away the moment she got in. Hot baths were officially ruined for her. It was like a liquid massage. The water made every limb and muscle loose and relaxed. The little rocks surrounding them, combined with the steam that emitted from the spring, made it an incredibly soothing environment.

Ruby leaned back, soaked it all in, and closed her eyes. She was inches away from falling asleep, but forced herself to stay awake. This was perfect, and she didn't want to spoil it by being unconscious.

Yang immediately leaned back and yawned. "This is the best," she sighed. "This is what we needed a year ago. A real chance to relax. And look," she pointed at her prosthetic. "This thing's waterproof. Those boys at Atlas know what they're doing."

"Please don't remind me of Atlas," Weiss groaned. "I cannot believe you're dragging me back to that place. Do you know how hard it was for me to escape? Heels aren't quiet, you know."

"Relax, we don't have to stay at your place, although living in a mansion doesn't sound bad. I'm sure there's more to Atlas than your stupid dad."

"My father _is_ Atlas. He's CEO of the most important company in the world. His influence is everywhere. Even General Ironwood has to make allowances for him."

"It's all of us against one old guy in a suit. I think we'll be fine," Yang snorted. "Only thing I'm not looking forward to is the cold. There better be hotsprings like this waiting for us."

"I remember they tried making an artificial one using fire dust when I was younger," Weiss said.

"Was it successful?" Blake asked.

"If you consider everything it touched melting to be a success, then yes."

"Great," Yang groaned. "No hot springs, freezing temperatures, and snooty businessmen. No wonder you're miserable all the time."

"Hey!" Weiss squawked. "I'm not miserable all the time!"

"You're miserable right now."

"Because I'm reacting to you calling me miserable!"

"Exactly."

"But that doesn't… argh!" Weiss turned to Ruby for support. "Speak some sense to your sister. You know I'm not miserable all the time. The first year of Beacon doesn't count."

Ruby blinked dreamily. "Weiss is nice," she murmured with a dopey smile on her face. She was only half-listening to them.

Weiss looked proud. "See? Weiss is nice- er, _I'm_ nice. If Ruby says it, then it must be true."

"Don't worry, Weissy, you're the nicest icy-est person I know," Nora said. "And besides, if it gets too cold, we'll just use Yang's semblance to keep warm. I'll bring marshmallows and everything."

"I'm not a campfire," Yang frowned.

"You're just as hot-headed as one," Weiss snickered.

"Did you say something, Ice Queen?"

"Of course not. I'm nice, remember?"

Ruby let the conversation play in the background. This was just like old times. She had missed the playful bickering that happened when they were still at Beacon. After all the fighting was over, she hoped small things like that would stay the same.

"Take it from me personally: Atlas sucks," Ilia said. "I should know, I went to school there. Let's just say they don't take kindly to us faunus."

Everyone grimaced. Faunus faced some racism in Vale, but it was nothing compared to Atlas. Everyone knew what went on in those dust mines, poor Weiss especially. Even though she had nothing to do with it, she was disgusted with the mistreatment that happened under her family name.

Nora's eyes widened. "Wait, you're a faunus?" she asked her.

"... I thought it was obvious, with the whole White Fang thing."

"You were with the White Fang!?"

Everyone looked at her.

"What, I was busy fighting the big guy to notice!" she cried. She turned her attention to Ilia again. "So, what's your animal trait? Is it alright if I ask?"

"Um, sure, it's fine. I'm a chameleon faunus. I can do this."

Her skin immediately changed from tanned to green, with her hair taking on a bright shade of blue.

"Whoa, that's awesome!" Nora awed.

"You really think so?"

"Duh, of course. You must have the best skin ever, and you never have to spend a lien on hair dye. I wish I could do that. I'd make myself pink all the time. That'd be so funky."

Speaking of pink, Ilia was starting to look a little bright herself. "I-I don't know if I have the _best_ skin ever," she stammered bashfully. "I had a pretty bad acne problem as a kid, and the spots never changed colour with me, so they'd always stand out and… Blake, help me out here."

Blake raised an eyebrow. "What do you want me to say? You know I'm the quiet one."

Ilia groaned and sunk beneath the water. Her skin had turned completely red, making her look like a stop sign with a ponytail.

"Think you broke her, Nora," Yang murmured.

"It's what I do," Nora happily said.

Ilia's composure returned when she resurfaced. "Okay, so this is… really crazy for me," she said. "Because this is the first time I've ever been complimented by humans who know I'm a faunus. I'm so used to humans treating us like we're animals, I thought you were all good-for-nothing bigots. It's why I joined the White Fang in the first place."

"I guess you would think we're all scum if you sign up with a terrorist organisation," Yang grunted.

"Yang!" Ruby gasped. She was about to argue, when Ilia stopped her.

"It's fine," she said. "She's right- we were terrorists. Or rather, we _became_ terrorists, thanks to Adam and Sienna."

Yang's prosthetic curled its fingers into a fist at the sound Adam's name. "Yeah, I know all about that guy," she said in a low voice. "He's the one who gave me this." She pointed to her prosthetic.

Ilia's eyes widened. "Oh… shit. I'm so sorry-"

"Don't." Yang cut her off. "I hate it when people apologise for things that weren't their fault. It's so pointless."

"Right…"

A chill had entered the once warm air of the hot spring. Ruby couldn't sense any hostility present, but the change in the atmosphere was noticeable.

"We weren't always like this," Blake whispered. "We were supposed to be a peaceful movement, and we were for a time. We had standards. But new leaders come with new rules, and when my dad stepped down, others decided things should be run differently. That's when a lot of us deserted the White Fang."

Bitterness warped Ilia's face. "Not all of us," she sighed, her voice full of regret. "Blake was smart to leave when she did. I should've done the same."

"Why didn't you?" Ruby asked. "If you knew what you were doing was wrong, why did you stay?"

"Where was I supposed to go?" Ilia said. "As bad as things got, The White Fang gave me something no human ever did: a place where I belonged. Thanks to them, I had a family, friends, a sense of purpose. I couldn't leave that behind. If I did, I'd have nothing left."

"Family…" Nora said quietly. "Yeah, it's not easy losing that."

"Even still, all that violence" Ruby pressed. "How does the White Fang think it can achieve equality that way? Do they really think they can make the world a better place by killing people?"

Ilia looked like she had been punched. Ruby immediately felt guilty. She hadn't meant to imply Ilia might have had anything to do with that. Once again, her curiosity replaced her common sense.

But morality was proving to be an interesting concept for her. Everyone seemed to have their own interpretation of it. Whilst killing people for the greater good was absolutely abhorrent to her, others didn't seem to think so. As a former terrorist, Ruby wanted to understand Ilia's mindset more.

Thankfully, Ilia recovered quickly enough. "I guess it'd be easy for me to blame Adam and Sienna for everything we did," Ilia said. "But I had a choice like everyone else. And the truth is… I wanted revenge. I was so angry at everything; at the way Faunus were mistreated, and at how many humans looked down on us. Then when my parents died, and those bitches at Atlas laughed about it, I wanted them to feel everything I felt times ten."

"So, you admit to wanting to hurt people," Weiss said bluntly. "You understand that your actions endangered countless innocent lives."

Ilia bowed her head in shame.

"It wasn't just her," Blake said, rising to her defence. "I was the same for a time. I also had a huge chip on my shoulder, and wanted to get even with humanity. But I got lucky. I managed to see what I was becoming before it was too late."

It was easy for Ruby to forget that Blake had once been associated with the White Fang. She knew her to be a kind, passionate, well-mannered person. Nothing at all what you'd expect a terrorist to be. Ilia was supposedly more involved with the cause than Blake, but Ruby had a hard time seeing her as a dangerous threat too.

Because a terrorist wouldn't feel remorse for her actions. She wouldn't regret hurting people if she truly didn't care about them. And yet that's exactly what she was doing; with her eyes lowered to the water, unable to meet anyone's gaze.

"Look, I'm fine if you guys don't trust me, or even want me here," Ilia said. "I wouldn't trust me either after everything I've done. I won't blame you if you want me to leave."

"Hey, we didn't say that," Nora said. "We're just curious. It's not every day you meet a former White Fang member. Well, aside from Blake."

"Blake… Blake's the whole reason I'm even here," Ilia muttered. "If it hadn't been for her, I would've rigged those explosives that night, and you'd be trying to put me down. I would've been the girl who bombed a city, all because of petty revenge."

"You would never have done that," Blake gently said. "You're better than that. You always have been."

"Maybe. Maybe not," Ilia whispered. "I don't wanna know. That's why I didn't wanna accept that praise from the locals back there. I didn't deserve it. If they knew who I was before this…"

Ruby felt like she had been quiet for too long. "I admit, I don't really know you that well, Ilia," she said carefully. "But you don't seem like a bad person to me. You just lost your way because of all the pain in your life. And besides, you still helped us all out in the end. There's plenty of good in you."

Ilia weakly smiled at her. "Good in me, eh? I dunno. You should've seen me back in the day. I've still got a lot of shit to clean up before I can even call myself average."

"Even still, you rose above your hatred. Just like you said before, you had a choice. And you chose to become something better than what the White Fang made you. I'm really glad I didn't have to fight you that night."

Ilia may have done some really bad things in the past, but she wasn't an irredeemable monster. Just like Blake, she was proof that people could come around, that there was a spark of decency inside of everyone.

And Ruby would hang up her scythe before she'd be the one to snuff it out…

Ilia started to look happy again. "Ruby, was it? Thank you. I'm glad I didn't have to fight you too. I'm just grateful that there are people like you and Blake willing to give me a second chance."

Always. She'd always offer a second chance to anyone in need. Because life was worth preserving.

"Alright, good talk, ladies. Lot's of emotion," Yang quipped. "I'd say let's hug it out, but we're not so close that we can start having a naked cuddle session."

Blake chuckled. "I don't think the boys would mind."

"Speaking of which, they're being awfully quiet back there," Weiss said. "They've probably got the better deal. It's just the three of them back there. They've got the whole pool to themselves."

Silence.

"You think they're peeping?" Yang asked.

"What? No way! They wouldn't do that!" Ruby cried.

Yang shrugged. "Why not? They're guys and we're hot. It's almost a given."

"Please, my boys are as good as gold," Nora scoffed. "Dunno about your man though, Blake."

"He's not my… he wouldn't do that," Blake muttered.

"They're our best friends, I trust them with my life," Weiss said. "Still, they are being unusually quiet…"

"Hmm, can't take the risk. Better make sure just in case." Yang stood up and looked over the fence.

"Yang, what are you doing? Sit back down!" Ruby yelped, but she wasn't quick enough.

Before anyone could react, a bar of soap hit Yang square in the face, knocking her back into the pool a big splash. Yang sunk like a stone beneath the water.

"That's for peeping, you miscreant!" Sun laughed.

"I don't know why I expected better from you," Ren tutted.

"Can I have that back? That was my soap he just threw," Jaune called.

Yang emerged from the depths, spitting out a stream of water. With her hair stuck over her face, she looked like a shaggy dog. "Guess I deserved that one," she grunted.

"Yang don't spit!" Weiss snapped.

"This is what I've missed," Blake sighed.

"Hey, hey, what did Ren look like?" Nora asked.

Ruby leaned back against the pool smiling. Their usual schedule of craziness had returned, just like old times. Rather than get involved this time, she leaned back and drowned out the sounds again. The only one way she was getting out of the water, was if they they dragged her out.

[/]

The evening sun spilled through her bedroom blinds. Ruby yawned and stretched her arms, hearing the satisfying pop in her joints.

It had been a good day. A really good day. The hot spring had done wonders in relieving her stress, and seeing all her friends again gave her fulfilment. Her body and mind felt completely at peace.

It wasn't quite night yet, but she was exhausted. She could barely make it through dinner, even though Ren had cooked one of his signature dishes. Eating it only made her more tired. She was ready to slip under the covers now.

And she would have, if it hadn't been for a knock on her door.

"Door's open," she called.

The door creaked open and Blake walked in. Ruby hadn't seen much of her friends for a long time, but with Blake, it felt like a lifetime since she had seen the dark-haired girl. While they were in Mistral, Blake had been having her own adventure in Menagerie. They had a lot to catch up on.

"Hey, Blake," she said.

"Hey, Ruby. I-" Blake paused.

"Everything alright?" Ruby asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah, just… have you gotten taller? Cause it looks like you have."

Ruby looked down at herself. "Have I?"

"Yeah, you definitely have," Blake confirmed. "It caught off guard, is all."

Come to think of it, she wasn't looking up as high to Blake as what she used to. She now came just above her shoulders.

"Huh," Ruby said. "Guess all that milk-drinking finally paid off."

Blake chuckled. "Well, keep on drinking it, cause that's a good look for you. Weiss is probably jealous. She hasn't grown an inch since I last saw her."

"Aww, don't be mean. You should see her summons now. She's perfect with them."

"Is that so? Maybe she should summon herself a bigger pair of heels."

Ruby felt guilty laughing at her partner's expense, but she wasn't here right now. Also, it felt nice being able to laugh again.

"I can't believe it's been a year since we last saw each other," Blake sighed. "Everyone's changed so much. You've gotten taller, Yang's got that new arm, Jaune's packed on some muscle… and was Ren always that pretty?"

"Yeah, we've all changed quite a bit since Beacon." Ruby's eyes drifted to the top of Blake's head. "But I don't need to tell you that. That's a new look for you too. No more bow, huh? When did that happen?"

"Shortly after I left for home," Blake said. "Does it look odd?"

"No way. It was cute, but it's good to see you without it. Your ears are way cuter anyway."

Blake's cat ears twitched slightly from the praise. "Thank you. I'm still getting used to having them exposed. I forgot how chilly they can get in the wind. The bow was keeping them warm all this time."

"What made you want to get rid of it?"

Blake shrugged. "It was time. I've been running away my whole life, even from myself. The bow was proof of that. If I want to stop running, I can't hide who I am. That meant I had to get rid of it, so I did."

That was a shame in one sense. Ruby really liked that bow. But if Blake thought it was holding her back, then so be it. At least she wasn't acting like she was ashamed of her faunus heritage anymore.

"I think that's really great of you, Blake," Ruby said sincerely. "Looks like I'm not the only one who did some growing up."

Blake's demeanour dimmed suddenly. "I wouldn't say that," she muttered. "I think you're giving me too much credit."

"What do you mean?"

Blake had always been someone who was hard to read. Ruby wasn't sure if she was going to speak or run out the door. It looked as if Blake didn't even know herself.

"Ruby," Blake said softly. "That thing I said about not running away anymore… I want you to know I mean it."

"Oh. Um, sure thing."

Blake shook her head. "No, you don't understand. I really mean it. I swear on my life, I'm not gonna-"

"Blake, it's fine. I believe you," Ruby assured her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We're teammates, remember? You don't have to explain anything to me."

Blake grunted out a weak scoff. She looked at Ruby with distant, amber eyes. "Just as long as you understand. I'm never going to abandon you again."

"Blake-"

"I know what you're gonna say," Blake cut in. "But I did abandon you all that night. It doesn't matter what reason I had, I still left you all when you needed me the most. Especially Yang."

Her voice soured when she mentioned her sister's name. Ruby hadn't missed those looks Blake had sent Yang's way back in the city, nor how overly polite she was towards her. All were desperate attempts to get on her good side. It was a sad thing to witness.

Yang had been swallowed by a pit of despair after everything that happened to her, and Blake's absence didn't help. A part of Ruby wanted to know why Blake had left when she did. She was frustrated for her sister. But seeing that same misery sink its hooks into her made her hold her tongue.

That was a line of enquiry for another time. Right now, Blake needed some reassurance.

"Yang… Yang was hurt when you weren't there," Ruby said. "But she doesn't hate you. None of us do. We're just happy that you're finally back. That's all that matters to us."

Blake's smile was broken. "I'm not expecting things to go back to how they were instantly. What I did was inexcusable. It's gonna be a long time before I mend all those bridges I burned."

"I'm sure you had your reasons…"

"Yeah, that's what I told myself too. But those were the words of a coward. I ran because I was scared. I thought everything that happened was all my fault, and I couldn't bear to face the consequences. I just told myself I was doing it to protect you to make myself feel less pathetic. I have always been a coward…"

Blake's face hardened. "Not anymore," she said with a voice like steel. "I couldn't be there for Yang when she lost her arm, not for Weiss when she was dragged back to Atlas, nor JNPR when Pyrrha died. But I will be here for you now every step of the way. And I can start by helping you."

Ruby felt small under Blake's drilling gaze. "What do you mean, help me?"

Blake's expression softened again. "You weren't kidding about growing up. When I first met you, you seemed like the most innocent person in the world. Perhaps a little too much for your own good. So, you can only imagine what it was like to hear about what happened."

Ruby's stomach twisted into knots. She really didn't want to talk about this now. She had been having such a good day today. Ozpin's advice had worked - she had distracted herself. Her mind was at peace.

But now it was all coming back, and at full force. The room was shaking, her heartbeat became erratic, her legs could no longer support her body. Oh Gods, she was gonna be sick. She-

And then the storm in her mind eased when she felt Blake's hand on her shoulder. The warm reminder that she was not alone allowed her body to settle. When her eyes regained focus, she saw Blake smiling at her.

"What you did today was very brave," she whispered. "It takes a strong person to try and move forward after what happened to you. You could've easily stayed inside today, but you didn't. That's the kind of strength I wish I had."

"You really think so?" Ruby murmured. She didn't feel strong. In her current state, her body felt like it could snap in the breeze.

"I know so," Blake firmly stated. "It's been so hard for you lately, and yet rather than running away, you've chosen to face your problems head-on. You're as strong as Yang in that regard."

Ruby's breath hitched.

"I'm not a brave person, Ruby. Not by a longshot. So take my advice: don't make the same mistakes I did. Don't think you're doing us a favour by hiding yourself away. I did that once, and I don't want to see you doing the same thing. The world needs people like you. It's a better place with you in it."

Every word that came out of Blake's mouth hit her like a comet. If there was ever any doubt that locking herself away wasn't helping anyone, Blake just squashed it right here and now. Her team hadn't spent so much time trying to reunite with each other, only for her to vanish. They were her freaking family.

And family stuck together.

Overwhelmed, Ruby crashed into Blake and gave her the strongest hug her little arms could muster. She tried not to cry. She didn't want to get tears on her new coat.

"Only if you promise to stay with us too," she croaked. "We've all missed you so much, Blake. Please don't leave us again."

Blake hugged back even tighter. "I promise," she swore, her voice barely a whisper.

A part of Ruby's heart had been missing ever since the Fall of Beacon. With all the death and mayhem, it felt like her spirit was split in two. Now it felt as though the void had been filled. This wasn't the end of their hard times. She imagined there would be countless more battles before the fighting was over.

But everything seemed a little brighter now. For she had reclaimed what made her whole.

When they pulled back, Ruby noticed Blake's eyes were a little red, betraying her stoic facade. "Goodnight, Ruby. I'll see you tomorrow."

When Blake left and shut the door behind her, tiredness once again controlled her. But before she got comfortable, she placed the girl's drawing on top of her bedside drawer. She wanted to wake up to the sight of it every day now.

Gods, she was exhausted. She slipped into her pyjamas and crawled into bed. When her eyelids shut, not even her mind had the strength to conjure up anything. Her sleep was dreamless that night.

Peaceful.

* * *

 **My other stories may not show it, but Ilia is one of my favourite characters in the show. My top four are Jaune, Weiss, Ilia and Sun. Love those little rascals.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Special thanks to Mike the Remnant Paladin for going over this chapter. And for being just a swell guy in general.**

* * *

 **Cover art -** **MRK50**

* * *

The classroom had an unsettling stillness to it. It was silent inside, but far from peaceful. A sinister air lingered, clinging to her nerves like claws and sending shivers through Ruby's body.

It reminded her of when she visited old battlefields from the Great War. Sure, they looked calm and serene now, but the truth always of what took place there always managed to defile its otherwise beautiful appearance. You couldn't see them without feeling the shadow of death hover over you like meat hooks.

The room itself was too clean, almost spotless. It was all a facade, a cover-up. The shiny new polish couldn't conceal the grisly reality from that night. It still scratched its way to the surface, bleeding into the present like a festering maggot breaking through its host.

Ruby could still see Neo's crumpled body bleeding out onto those wooden floorboards. The foul, metallic smell of blood still filled her nostrils. Her heart thumped that same erratic beat when she saw her life flicker before her eyes.

This room was an inevitable. Someone was always supposed to die here. It was only through luck that it hadn't been her.

"What are you doing in here?"

Ruby didn't look up to the sound of her uncle's voice. Her eyes were trained to the floor. "She was lying right there when she died," she said in a quiet, calm voice. A single finger pointing to where she was looking at. "Right there, right in that spot. Just a few feet away from me. I can still see her now."

The last hateful look on her face was branded in her memories. But when she died, Neo had been lying face down. Ruby wondered, did she still have that same venomous expression as she died? Did she still carry those feelings of contempt as everything else left her body?

Or perhaps there was fear? If she looked at her, would she see terror behind those mismatched eyes, knowing that this was the end? Would those silent lips be twisted into a plea for mercy? Death was a chain she and Neo were both bound to. Ruby knew exactly how she felt when she was seconds away from dying.

What was Neo feeling once the tables were turned?

Footsteps. Qrow was getting closer. "I said, what are you doing here?" he asked.

She broke away from her musings and turned her head lazily to look at him. His concern was obvious. He looked at her like she was a little kid about to do something really stupid.

She greeted him with a small smile. "I just wanted to remember something," she told him.

"Yeah, the _wrong_ thing. Come on, kiddo, you shouldn't be here. Let's go outside. I'll buy you some more of those comics you love."

She sighed. "I'm fine, Uncle Qrow, really. You don't have to worry about me."

"I always worry about you, squirt. Especially now. You're making so much progress, and I don't want this place screwing things up for you."

"Nothing's going to change, I promise. It's just important that I remember."

Qrow took a seat next to her. "Be careful," he warned. "I've seen where that train of thought ends. You focus too much on the past, and all the possibilities of what could have been will eat you alive. I know because I've thought the same thing too many times to count. Don't you start doing the same."

Ruby's lips pursed. "There's only one way things could've gone differently. It's like you said: I'd be dead and she'd be living. That's all there is to it."

"You did what you had to."

"I know."

The words felt like a punch to the stomach as she spoke them. Qrow's expression flickered briefly from surprise. Her blunt tone caught her off guard too. But really, how else was she supposed to say it?

"I've had all the time in the world to think about what happened here," she continued. "It's always on my mind, even when I think it's not. It follows me. And it always comes back to this room."

"Ruby, come on, let's get outta here-"

"Do you know what I was thinking before she was about to kill me?" Her eyes bored into his. "I was thinking of everyone I would leave behind. How hurt they would be when I'm gone." Her hands gripped her skirt. "That was gonna be my biggest regret. Not being able to say goodbye to everyone. I… I couldn't let that happen!"

She felt the tremors again. Her whole body shook and her head felt dizzy. She saw Qrow stand, ready to help her, but she raised a hand to stop him. She placed her other hand over her heart, counted to five, then inhaled. She held her breath, counted to five again, then exhaled slowly. Her fingers still tingled a little, but the tremors subsided, and her body felt like her own again.

It was a useful technique she had learned from Yang. Her older sister had her own set of nightmares to deal with, so she developed a coping mechanism for when things got too much. It had worked well so far, which was just as well. Even though she was making progress, she was still prone to panic attacks.

She felt Qrow's hand on her shoulder. "I sound like a broken record here, but you gotta stop blaming yourself," he said gently. "Hating yourself is exhausting. It's not worth the energy."

She looked up at him. "That's the worst part," she whispered hoarsely. "I don't think I do anymore."

It was a horrible thing to admit. She wanted so desperately to loathe her existence as much as she did before. She wished she had the strength to isolate herself and wallow in misery.

But it was like he said: hating herself was too much effort to do every day. She just didn't have that little extra push anymore. She was spent. Drained. It was out of her system.

She started to giggle in a quiet, broken voice. Each fit of laughter, fueled by her maddened state, released fresh tears from her eyes. She hugged herself as she sat there giggling like a crazy person.

"It's so stupid," she managed out. "I spent so long hiding away from all of you, when you guys are the one thing I wanted to live for. It was like Neo had died for nothing. At times, I even wished are roles were reversed. I hated myself, and I thought you should hate me too.

"But everything's changed. I've been seeing you all again, and I know how much you all care about me. And you know what? I'm… I'm happy! This is exactly what I wanted; more of this. You're all that makes my life worth living. And I love it!"

Her laughter regressed into weak coughing. "I feel horrible for _not_ feeling horrible," she muttered. "I hate that I've accepted what's happened. Believe me, I'm trying to hate myself for it. I really, really am. But I can't do it anymore. It's… I don't know what to feel anymore."

Qrow didn't look too fazed by her deranged confession. If anything, he looked almost relieved. His red eyes were staring at her softly. It was always strange; she never expected red eyes of all things to look gentle, but somehow, he always found a way.

"So, if Tai ever finds out about this, he's gonna kill me," he said. "But he's not here right now, and given the circumstances, he'll probably understand. Just try not to mention it to him. Or your sister, for that matter."

She frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Qrow reached for his hip flask and held it before her. "Try some," he said.

Ruby looked at the flask confused. If he didn't have her, her dad or Yang, that flask would easily be his most treasured possession. He was like a dragon guarding its treasure when it came to protecting it. He also _never_ shared what was in it with anyone.

Until now, apparently.

"You're letting me have some?" she asked for good measure.

"Sure, why not?"

"But… I'm not even eighteen."

"Oh, please," he scoffed. "You're on a mission to fight the Devil and save the world. I think you can be forgiven for having a little pick-me-up."

"Is it a good idea, though? I know I'm struggling, but I don't wanna drink my problems away."

"We're not. We're celebrating." He unscrewed the cap, realising the powerful odour that made her head feel light just smelling it. "We're celebrating you feeling happy again, even after all the shit you've been through. I dunno about you, but this calls for a victory drink."

Qrow handed her the flask. The sleek container was surprisingly heavy in her hand. How much was in this thing? He must've done a lot of celebrating…

"You don't have to like it," he said. "But do me a favour; don't spit it out. That stuff's expensive, and the floorboards don't deserve to drink it."

Ruby was a little nervous about this. She had never drunk alcohol before. Yang always promised to treat her to a 'strawberry sunrise' when she was older, which was apparently as tasty as it sounded. But knowing her uncle, Ruby knew Qrow didn't have time for girly drinks like that. Whatever was in this could probably knock her out with just a sip.

Cautiously, she pressed the lid to her lips and drank. Her eyes bulged out of her head as she swallowed, and her hands nearly dropped the flask. With her insides feeling like they were on fire, she was reduced to a violent coughing fit. Her uncle saw her reaction and laughed.

"It burns!" she gagged. "What the heck is that stuff?"

"One of the few useful gifts the Gods gave us before they fucked off," Qrow chuckled. He took the flask from Ruby and had a drink himself, chugging the alcohol back like a pro.

As for Ruby, she was ready to spit out her own throat. "How do you drink that so easily?" she gasped.

"Experience," he grunted. "We used to sneak some of this stuff into Beacon when we felt like partying. The taste is a nice… memory. If it makes you feel better, your mom and dad reacted the same way when they first tried it."

"At least we have some sane people in the family," she muttered.

Qrow laughed again, then handed her back the flask. "Try some more," he said. "The first taste is always the worst. It'll be nicer now that you're broken into it."

Ruby took the flask containing what might as well be acid. Even though she wasn't thrilled about having more, she didn't want to refuse his invitation. She took another sip, this time being careful about how much she was swallowing. It didn't scorch her innards like it did last time, though there was still a fiery kick to it.

She handed it back to him when she was done. "I don't think I could ever get used to that," she admitted.

"Yeah, that's probably for the best," he said, taking one last sip before putting it away. "You're way of celebrating is healthier than mine. How's things been going lately?"

"Pretty good," Ruby said. "I'm socialising a lot more now. Even if we're not doing anything special, I just like to make sure I'm not alone. Helps keep my head busy."

"Good."

"My lessons with Ozpin are going well too. My combat skills are improving all the time. He's actually having to attack back now. Yeah… it's been good."

"Kid, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that," Qrow said, giving her hair a little ruffle. "Sounds to me you finally understand that what happened wasn't your fault."

Ruby's lips tightened, and she gently pulled Qrow's hand away. That sentence didn't sit well with her. Things were definitely better than before, but life wasn't that simple yet.

"No," she said quietly. "No, it was my fault. Neo didn't kill herself that night. It's my fault she's dead."

"Ruby-"

"Don't worry, I'm not punishing myself for it," she quickly added. "But I am angry that it happened. She didn't have to die that night. Sure, she attacked first, and sure, I was just defending myself. But her death still angers me, even if she was a bad person."

"You're hands were tied. There was nothing you could do," Qrow said in an attempt to reassure her.

All it did was make her more annoyed.

"There was nothing I could do back then, yeah," she stated. "Because I wasn't skilled enough to stop it from happening. Had I been better and smarter, this could've been avoided. But I was neither, and look what happened."

"You sure you're not punishing yourself?" he asked. "Cause it sure sounds like you are."

"There's nothing wrong with getting annoyed at your own mistakes," she said. "Neo did some terrible things, but who knows? Maybe I could've talked some sense into her? Maybe I could've convinced her to help us take down Salem?"

"Unlikely." Her uncle's words stamped out any hope in her words. It was a shame how quickly she agreed with him.

Ruby shrugged. "Probably. But now we'll never know."

Ruby wasn't so optimistic that she believed Neo would just change her motivations on a whim. But she had so much skill, so much potential. Even though her heart was blackened, there was still a glimmer of humanity in her - her grief for Roman was very real. Had she been given some compassion, she could've been a completely different person.

But now she was dead, and all that potential was squandered. Wasted. In a way, Ruby felt she had failed Neo - she had failed to save her from herself.

"There's nothing I can do to bring Neo back," Ruby reluctantly sighed. "But you're right; I can't keep beating myself up over what happened. That won't help anyone. I need to start focusing on the future, so I can make sure nothing like this ever happens again."

"That's what I like to hear," Qrow said. "So, what's your first plan of action?"

 _"Act how you think a huntress should act. Set your own example."_ Ozpin's words echoed in her head.

"I've got something in mind," she said. "I'll talk more about it over dinner, though. I think it's something everyone needs to hear."

Also, she needed time to work out all the words in her head. She didn't want to make her big announcement stuttering like a broken TV. If she was gonna speak, she had to get it right.

"Fair enough," Qrow said. "But listen, whaddya say we get out of here? I know you didn't like the drink, so how about I treat you to some ice cream? Hell, we can get whatever you want, I just think we should get outta here."

"That sounds great," she said with a warm smile. "Just give me a few more minutes. I'll be out soon."

Qrow looked like he wanted to argue, but held his tongue. "Well, alright. As long as you promise it's only a few minutes. No more than two."

"I promise," she said. "I just need some closure. It won't take long."

Qrow took her word for it, then waited for her outside. Ruby crouched down at gently touched the spot where Neo had died. The ground felt warm, as if some vestige of life still clung to it. She waited for the shiver up her spine to pass, then summoned forth all the regret in her heart. All her shame, all her guilt, all of it rose like a sorrowful river. She was wrecked with it.

And then she spoke.

"I'm sorry, Neo."

And just like that, the pain eased. One moment, she was overwhelmed by it, but now it was cool and controlled. It wasn't gone - it never would be - but it was balanced.

She had said that many times, both awake and in her sleep. But never like this. Whereas before it had been panicked and pleading, now her apology was steady and firm. She wasn't just addressing Neo, she was apologising to her memory, her spirit, everything about her. Neo's life was over, and she was truly sorry for it.

But she wouldn't say goodbye. Not yet. She'd save that for later.

[/]

They ended up having pizza that night. Everyone crowded around the boxes on the table, picking apart the slices like hungry crows. All of it was Weiss' treat. Before escaping Atlas, she had moved all of her money to a different account, one which her father couldn't touch. When asked how much she had on it, she just said, "enough" with a smile on her face.

Ruby hardly touched her food. She was too nervous to eat. She had spent the entire day going over what she was going to say in her head, even when she was out with Qrow. It was only her friends she was speaking to, but it felt like she was about to address the nation.

Thankfully, no one noticed her toying with that one slice of pizza in her hand. She didn't want to give the impression that something was wrong. No, it was quite the opposite.

She waited a few more minutes for everyone to settle down, then she cleared her throat. "Excuse me. There's something I gotta say," she said.

Everyone looked at her, and she felt her brain freeze. She could hear static in her ears as she felt her confidence leave her.

"Geez, I had the words clear in my head a second ago, now I can't even think," she groaned.

That earned a laugh from everyone. She laughed too, if only to get her nerves out of her system. When the laughter died down, all eyes were trained on her again. Their gazes felt like burning spotlights.

She closed her eyes and gathered her thoughts. She could do this. She had to. After taking a deep breath, she started to speak.

"First of all, I need to say I'm sorry," she began. "I know I've been distant with you all. After I… after I killed Neo, I thought you'd want nothing to do with me. That you'd think I'm some kind of monster. I thought hiding away would somehow atone for all that."

An angry flush rushed up to her neck. "I was an idiot," she growled. "You'd never treat me like that. I was so stupid for doubting you all. It was unfair to you, and unfair to myself."

"You had your reasons," Weiss said gently.

Ruby shook her head. "My reasons were stupid. You guys are family to me, and I pushed you away when I needed you the most. I've made all of you needlessly worry, and for that, I am so sorry.

"I can't make up for all that time wasted. But what I can do is make you all a promise: I will never hide from you guys ever again. We're all finally together again, and I won't spoil that now. There's tough times ahead of us, but if we stick together, I know we can get through them all. Because we're all we've got. And I know I can't think of anyone I'd rather face this journey with than you guys."

What other friends would travel all this way to reunite with each other? What other friends could lose a teammate and still carry on fighting despite their pain? All of them were invincible, but only when they worked together.

For Ruby, it was an honour to be counted as one of them.

She was swept off her feet when Nora crashed into her, bawling in an overdramatic manner. The weeping cannonball picked her up and brought her into a crushing bearhug.

"Awww, we love you too, you precious little rosebud," Nora cried. "You're way too cute to be a baddie."

Ruby gagged as her breath was squeezed out of her by Nora's bone-breaking affection.

"Alright, alright, settle down, Nora," Ren said. Being the only one who could tame the beast, he pulled Nora away from her, still blubbering like a baby.

"Nora's theatrics aside," Weiss said, "this team wouldn't be complete without you, Ruby. There's not a thing you could do to make us hate you, despite how loud, annoying, and impossibly energetic you can be."

Ruby blushed. "I've missed your compliments, Weiss."

"And we've missed you," Weiss said. "So, you better hold true to your promise. I will not have you punishing yourself alone again, no matter what the future holds."

That last line caught Ruby's attention. "Yeah, speaking of the future… there's something else I need to say."

The room fell silent again. This was it. Ruby took in another deep breath.

"My time alone wasn't completely useless," she said quietly. "It's given me some time to think. To think about what happened that night… and what kind of person I am.

"I was always brought up to believe that a huntress should strive to save everyone, no matter how bad they may be. This journey has taught me a lot. I realise now that the world isn't so black and white, and that sometimes… tough decisions need to be made in order to protect people."

Her heart bled when she saw Qrow look awkwardly to the side. She almost wanted to stop talking right there. But she couldn't. She had to keep going.

"I have great respect for those with the will to carry out those choices," she continued. "They are braver and stronger than me, more so than I could ever hope to be… which is why I cannot be one of them."

Her eye twitched as the memory briefly assaulted her mind. Before, it would have sent her sprawling in tears. Now, it added fuel to her burning ambition.

"I made a terrible mistake when I killed Neo that night. It broke me. And I know what most of you are thinking: she deserved to die, she was trying to kill me, yes, yes, I know. But that doesn't change the fact that what I did will haunt me for the rest of my life. I don't expect you to understand, and I hope you never experience what I feel.

"All of us here have different ideas on how hunters should behave. This is mine: I value life too much to see it end so abruptly. I don't want to take lives, I want to save them. To me, killing Neo was wrong, and it goes against everything I stand for.

"Which is why I cannot do it anymore. Last time was an accident. There will be no more _accidents._ This war will claim as many lives as it can, but so long as I'm fighting it, I will reduce the number of casualties as possible. That includes from both sides. For that is my duty as a huntress."

She didn't expect them all to agree with her ideology. In some ways, she didn't want them to. The world needed brave people like her uncle to make the hard choices. And while she didn't want any of them to kill people as well, she wouldn't judge them if their principles differed from hers.

They were all heroes. All of them. Including her.

Her chest felt like a deflated cushion. That was the most she had spoken for a very long time. She was all worded out. Her vocabulary was done for the day.

So, could someone else please break the silence? Please?

"You know, I think I need to hand in my Older Sister card," Yang said. "You clearly deserve it more than I do. You and your maturity and morals, making me feel like a little kid."

"That's a very brave outlook you have," Blake said. "Others may not agree with you."

Ruby shrugged. "Let them disagree. They have their code, and I have mine. I won't compromise."

Blake smiled approvingly. "Good."

Jaune's fingers drummed against the table. "I really like your mindset," he murmured. "If I ever see Cinder again… I hope I can copy it."

Ruby bit her lip. That was a bridge they'd have to cross later. Maybe the could detain her, or find a way that prevented her from hurting more people. If she did have to die though… well, that was that.

But it wouldn't be by her blade. That was a fact.

Ren held his leader's shoulder. "As do I," he said. "For every fight."

"It does seem nice," Weiss hummed. "Of course, if things get out of control… I won't blame myself too much. But I will try to make sure that doesn't happen."

Yang looked down at her prosthetic. "Yeah, same," she whispered.

Ruby's stomach suddenly rumbled. Her knees buckled as hunger sucker punched her. She forgot how hungry she always got after talking so much. Luckily, she still had a slice of pizza in her hand.

Wait, no she didn't. It was gone!

"Hey, did anyone see my pizza?" she asked. Everyone looked around confused. No one else was eating.

Well, no one except a guilty-looking Nora, munching on a slice of pepperoni with the crust cut off.

Her slice!

"Nora, did you take my pizza when you hugged me?" Ruby cried.

"I eat when I cry, you know this!" Nora shot back. "Actually, I think I've got some more tears in the works. What say we get another pizza just in case, Weiss?"

"I don't think I should spend all my money on pizza," Weiss said. "But I'm sure Ruby's uncle will be happy to comply."

"Oh no, you kids have bled me dry enough already!" Qrow said.

Nora turned to Qrow. "Come on, please, Mr Qrow!" she begged.

"No!"

"Please, Mr Qrow!"

"No!"

"Please, Mr Qrow!"

"No!"

"Please, Mr Qrow-"

"Stop calling me Mr Qrow!" he snapped. "Qrow's my first name! It's Mr Branwen!"

"Okay… please, Mr Branwen!"

Qrow paused. "... okay, fine. Just promise to never call me that again. I'm not a teacher anymore, and Mr Branwen makes me sound old…"

They had more pizza, and this time, Ruby made sure to eat her fill. And Qrow was totally fine buying them, no matter what his pained expression told her.

Ruby went to bed with a full belly. She fell asleep quickly, but the night wasn't over for her yet. She had come to terms with her actions, and she had revealed her future plans to her friends.

But there was one last matter she needed to resolve. And she was ready.

[/]

 _She had been here before. But this time, it would be different._

 _Ruby calmly watched Neo rise from the blood once again. Mismatched eyes blinked away red drops and gazed back at her. Neo almost smiled, but even she sensed something different in the air. Even she realised something had changed._

 _Ruby looked down at her hand. In it was the monster scythe, thirsting for bloodshed. She heard its dark call, begging to taste the flesh of her enemies._

 _Ruby shut her eyes and pushed back the calling. "Go away," she growled. "I want nothing to do with you."_

 _The pleading turned into an enraged howl. Its frenzied roars echoed within her like the voice of a storm. It hammered against her soul, clawing its way to get in. Her mind throbbed under its dark influence._

 _It would not be denied. It demanded death._

 _But Ruby held firm. "I said, leave!" she snapped. "I never want to see you again! This is my head! You don't belong here!"_

 _More and more, she kept pushing it back until the roar drowned under her will, reduced to a pathetic whimper. Its voice sounded like a scuttling cockroach in her head. It tried reasoning with her, insisting that she needed it. It begged to be spared._

 _Then, with one final push, she silenced it forever._

 _Its hideous aura was expunged. She felt it disappear from existence, breaking apart one by one until it was nothing more than a memory. A thin wail was heard as it took its last miserable breath, before being utterly erased._

 _When Ruby looked down, the monster scythe was gone. In its place was something else. Something very familiar. Her true companion against her enemies._

 _Crescent Rose._

 _The real Crescent Rose, in all its glory._

 _She greeted her old friend with a smile. She saw her beaming face being reflected in its blade._

 _She gave it a twirl and addressed Neo. "Sorry for the wait," she said cheerfully. "Now then, let's get started."_

 _Neo's eyes narrowed. She did not like this new attitude of Ruby's. Her lips curled into an impish smile, and she drew a finger across her neck. A thin red line grew from where her finger had trailed, growing bigger and deeper. Blood began to rapidly pour from it._

 _Neo's head rolled back as it fell off her neck, hitting the blood with a splash. Her headless body stood for a few minutes before melting into blood, merging itself with the scarlet river._

 _Ruby shook her head. Cool trick, but gross. "Nice try," she said. "But you'll have to do better than that. You're not breaking me that easily."_

 _Neo rose from the blood again, head reattached to her body. She was properly angry now, snarling and glaring hatefully at her. How unfortunate for her to realise she wasn't in control anymore._

 _"This is the last time we do this, Neo," Ruby said in a low voice. She readied her scythe. "Do your worst. I've already beaten it once."_

 _If she were capable of it, Neo would've been roaring. She pulled out her blade and charged at Ruby. There was no joke in her movements. She was going in for the kill._

 _Ruby blocked the strike, deflecting the blade away, but Neo expertly brought it back around and lunged at her. Ruby blocked again. The two of them were matched in speed, so only their skill would win this fight._

 _And Ruby had more skill. She always would in her head._

 _Neo's strikes were fierce but predictable. Ruby dodged a jab to her stomach, then countered the follow-up slash she saw coming a mile away. It was nothing she hadn't seen before. There was no imagination in her attacks._

 _Though perhaps that was Ruby's fault? This was her head, after all. Oh well. Too bad for her._

 _Ruby kicked Neo back and assaulted her with her own strikes. Her movements were quick and graceful as Crescent Rose chipped away at Neo's defences. Neo's eyes desperately darted around, trying to track the blade's movements._

 _It wasn't good enough. Ruby and Crescent Rose fought as one body and mind. Combined with her speed semblance, they were a crimson blur of steel and style._

 _One lucky swipe slashed along Neo's chest. Neo's mouth opened into a silent cry and she jumped back, just avoiding the next attack. The jagged line across her chest healed instantly, but it was the first time Neo had ever looked hurt in the nightmare. The girl wasn't as invincible as she let on._

 _Ruby understood that now, and it terrified Neo._

 _Outraged, Neo stabbed her blade into the ground and twisted. All of a sudden, the blood started to swirl aggressively, until the centre of it formed into a bloody whirlpool._

 _Ruby anchored her scythe into the ground, but it wasn't enough. The suction of the whirlpool was dragging her in, pulling her into its sanguine depths._

 _The floor beneath her feet disappeared. With a yelp, she was swept away by the tide. Waves of red crashed against her, filling her mouth with the disgusting taste of metal. Her fingers desperately reached out for something to grab on to._

 _The world span as the whirlpool rocked her around like a ragdoll. Her lungs burned in her chest. Her body plummeted further into the depths._

 _She was drowning. All of her senses were slipping from her._

 _But then, as if by fate, she felt Crescent Rose in her hand again. Her trusty weapon hadn't abandoned her._

 _They were in this together._

 _She aimed its sniper beneath her and pulled the trigger. She shot up as fast as the bullets her weapon fired. Her semblance gave her that extra boost she needed to burst out of the whirlpool in an explosion of red._

 _She spun when she hit the ground, lungs sucking in precious air, or whatever counted as air in a nightmare. She looked at Neo, who was glaring at her furiously._

 _"You sure have a sick way of giving someone a bath," she quipped._

 _Neo was livid, but not finished. She raised her arms up and the blood began to bubble. Then, out from the depths, came another Neo. Then another. Then another, until the girl had amassed an entire army of herself._

 _Ruby was swarmed. One Neo was bad enough, but now there were too many to count. They all kept rising, all with murderous intent in their eyes. If she didn't do something, they'd overrun her instantly._

 _She breathed deeply. They weren't real, she told herself. This was her head, and she was the one in control._

 _She fired a bullet into one of them. The Neo clone melted instantly upon being hit. It seemed they weren't as sturdy as the original. She fired eight more shots, then after the ninth, she went to reload._

 _To her surprise, her chamber was still heavy, even though she should've been out of ammo by now._

 _Then it hit her. Oh yeah, this was a dream. She could have as much ammo she wanted._

 _What followed was similar to a gun show held by the White Fang. Spinning in the air, she unleashed a hail of bullets down on the clones. Each of them dropped one by one, disappearing as soon as they arrived. With her reckless trigger finger, it was enough to make a girl scream 'yee-haw'._

 _Fire dust, lighting dust, ice dust, you name it, she rained it all down on them. She had the whole world blasting out of her rifle._

 _As each clone fell, the true Neo was seen kneeling in the blood, desperately trying to summon more. But her power was weakening, and when the last clone fell, another did not rise._

 _Ruby landed and walked towards Neo. The girl's eyes flared, and when the two made eye contact, Ruby's head stung as everything went white._

 _Ruby blinked and saw the world had changed. She wasn't in the nightmare anymore. She was in the classroom where this had all began. The window shone soft moonlight into the room. All seemed still._

 _Then she saw herself._

 _Or rather, she saw a copy of herself. A perfect reflection. Her copy was standing over Neo's crumpled body, Crescent Rose in her hand. Blood dripped from its blade. The clone stood there, silently. It didn't notice the other Ruby in the room._

 _It was hard to make out the clones expression; its head was hung, causing its hair to fall down its face. But Ruby saw one thing clear. Hidden beneath those bangs was something that stoked her fury._

 _The clone was smiling._

 _It was looking down at Neo's corpse with a proud grin on its face._

 _Ruby's blood boiled. "That's not how it happened!" she snarled. "That isn't who I am!"_

 _The clone looked up at her. She was wrong, it wasn't a perfect reflection. The clone's eyes were vacant and soulless. It had the eyes of a demon; cruel and devoid of compassion._

 _And that smirk. That damn, hideous, ghoulish smirk! As if she could ever revel in the death of another person! That's not who she was! She would never become this… this…_

 _"I am not a monster!" Ruby screamed and slashed the air around her._

 _The illusion shattered. Crescent Rose cut through it like it was cheap wallpaper. She was back in the nightmare, though somehow, the blood and the darkness were a more welcome sight than that faux memory._

 _Neo's eyes were wide with terror and anger. Weak and virtually defenceless, there was little the girl could do now to fight back. It was time to end this once and for all._

 _As Ruby walked closer to her, Neo tried bombarding her mind again with images of her death, of Ruby killing more people, laughing as she did it. All in a last ditch effort to make her crack._

 _Ruby soldiered through it all, putting up a barrier around her mind. When she was close enough, Neo tried piercing her heart with her blade. Crescent Rose blocked the attack and swiped the weapon out of her hand._

 _Neo sat weaponless and defeated. It was over. Ruby had won._

 _"Are you ready, Neo?" Ruby whispered. "Because this is the worst thing I can do to you. I hope you can forgive me."_

 _A little of Neo's confidence returned. Her smug grin returned, and she offered her throat to Ruby. Neo closed her eyes, awaiting the blade to slice through her._

 _Her eyes shot open again when Ruby suddenly hugged her._

 _Crescent Rose was placed to one side. Ruby held Neo tight in her arms, resting her head on her shoulder. As for Neo, she was too shocked to realise what was happening. For a moment, the nightmare seemed almost peaceful._

 _Neo felt so small in Ruby's arms. So fragile, like a doll. Ruby squeezed tighter. This was a nightmare for both of them. They were both trapped here. She just wanted Neo to know that in these final moments, she was not alone._

 _Ruby cradled Neo's head. "I'm sorry it had to be this way," she croaked. "I wish I could save you and make things right. I don't blame you for hating me. But you attacked me first. What I did, it was self-defence. Even still… I'm so sorry for what I did."_

 _Ruby leaned back and wiped some of the blood off Neo's face. Her thumbs gently stroked her face. Perhaps it was mad of her to apologise to her would-be killer. But when Ruby looked at Neo, she no longer saw a rampaging murderer out for blood. Instead, she saw a helpless, terrified girl._

 _Terrified because she knew what was soon to come._

 _"But I promise your sacrifice won't be in vain," Ruby vowed. "You have taught me something, Neo: that all life is precious, and it's worth saving. I will never let this happen again. I will be the huntress that protects everyone, no matter who they are. And because of that… I thank you."_

 _Neo began to shake. Tears were pouring down her face. It was already happening. She could feel it. She gripped Ruby's arm and silently begged Ruby to change her mind. Once was horrible enough. Please, have mercy._

 _Ruby's heart sank looking at her. She pitied her, she truly did. But this was the only way. She pulled her into a hug one last time._

 _"I'm sorry," she whispered. "But we can't keep doing this forever. You're dead, Neo. It's time for you to rest."_

 _Neo's fingers dug into Ruby's cloak as she buried her face against her shoulder. Ruby could feel her body heaving. This was the end. And Ruby would be with her every second of it. She whispered into her ear that everything was alright._

 _Then, ever slowly, Neo started to disappear. Her body gradually faded from existence. Ruby held her close the entire time until there was no longer anything to hold. Neo was well and truly gone._

 _Ruby sat alone in the quiet darkness. Her hands touched her cheeks. She had been crying. Of course, she had. That's just the sort of person she was. She wiped the tears away and stood up._

 _"Goodbye, Neo."_

 _She looked down at the floor and noticed the blood, which had once stretched like a river, was fading too. Even the blood on her clothes was vanishing. As it faded, the stench alongside it was erased. Ruby sniffed. The air smelt fresh._

 _Clean._

 _Suddenly, a ray of light burst through the pitch-black sky. More and more rays cracked through the darkness until the entire world was enveloped in a warm, brilliant light. It washed over Ruby like a hot bath, welcoming her into its embrace._

 _Ruby smiled, closed her eyes, and gladly accepted it. She wasn't sure what the future had in mind for her, but while she lived, she would carry this light within her forever._

 _The nightmare was over._

* * *

 **This chapter... I've been meaning to write it for a very long time. Feels strange that it's done now.**

 **Not much to say here. I'll save my words for the next one.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Cover art -** **MRK50**

* * *

"Arrgh!"

Emerald yelled as she hit the ground hard. Her weapons flew out of her hands and scattered far from her. Bruised and exhausted, she could only lie in the dirt completely defeated.

Ruby stood over her victorious. It hadn't been easy to track her, Mercury and Hazel, and less so to beat them. Emerald was a tricky devil, relying on illusions to throw her off balance. She found out the hard way that mind games didn't work on her anymore.

Not that it mattered now, though. The fight was over.

Emerald glared up at her. "Go on! Just get it over with!" she spat. "You took Cinder from me! You took everything from me! I've got nothing left…"

It would be justified. Emerald had aided in the destruction of Beacon, and the deaths of countless people. Many would say she deserved death. Some would say even worse.

Unfortunately for those people, it wasn't their choice to decide what happened to Emerald today - it was Ruby's. And she had already made up her mind.

"Sorry, but that's not going to happen."

Emerald was baffled. "What?"

"You heard me," she said. "If you want death, you'll have to look somewhere else. Because you won't get it from me."

Ruby went behind her and pulled out a pair of handcuffs, a special brand strengthened for those with aura. She never left the house without them. Emerald wasn't breaking out of these anytime soon.

"Don't be stupid!" Emerald roared. "Hurry up and kill me already! You know you want to!"

"No, I don't want to," Ruby said calmly. "I don't want to kill anyone. I've had my fill, though I suppose that's something you wouldn't understand."

Emerald looked at her like she was an idiot. "But I destroyed your school! I killed your friends! I-"

"And you will be punished for that," Ruby said. "Don't think you're escaping justice that easily. Mark my words, you _will_ pay for all the terrible things you've done. But not with your life. That's not how I work."

"But… why?"

Ruby crouched down to her level. "Because believe it or not, life actually means something to me," she said. "Even someone like yours, Emerald. The rest of the world might throw you away, but I have to believe there's still some good in you worth saving. That is my duty as a huntress."

Her logic clearly didn't make sense to Emerald. "So what, you're just gonna send me to prison?" she snarled. "You think that's gonna stop me? You can't just lock me up like some common thug. I'll just break out. It'll be easy."

"Unlikely," Ruby said confidently. "And even if you do, I'll just put you back in. I'll do it as many times as it takes."

"You're an idiot!"

Ruby shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe I am stupid for thinking there's hope for you. But someone has to, and it won't be the people whose lives you've ruined. You better get used to me, Emerald. I'm the only protection you've got."

"You… you're…"

Ruby turned around to see the fight in the distance. Yang was really going to town against Mercury. The silver-haired goon was struggling to keep up. He was fighting a losing battle. This would be over before they knew it.

Her scroll rang. She answered it. "Hey, Weiss. How's it going with Hazel?"

 _"That oversized ape is a nuisance,"_ Weiss groaned on the other end. _"But we've got him on the ropes now. You should see Nora fight when she's angry. Remind me to never get on her bad side."_

"So, the situation's under control?"

 _"Completely. He's on his last legs now. It's only a matter of time. How's Emerald?"_

"I'm heading over with her now. I'm just gonna check if Yang needs any help. Stay safe, Weiss."

 _"When am I not?"_ she scoffed before hanging up.

Ruby rolled her eyes. Trust Weiss to always be so self-assured. Gods, it was wonderful to have their team back together.

Things had been different lately, more so for Ruby. If someone were to see her now, they'd definitely notice the change. She still maintained her bubbly personality, but her eyes no longer carried that innocent light to them. They were dimmer now, more hardened. It was obvious she was no longer the girl with her head stuck in the clouds.

But her confidence shone like a lighthouse beacon. Her purpose in life was clear now. She felt fulfilled, complete. After sixteen years, she finally felt she was truly living her life. The life she was destined to live.

The life of a hero. Just like her family and friends.

She frowned when she heard Emerald laugh hatefully behind her. " _That is my duty as a huntress_?" she sneered her own words back at her. "Don't give me any of that moral bullshit. You won't kill me is because you're too scared to do it."

Ruby looked at her with cold eyes.

"Yeah, that's right. You stand there acting like you're better than me, when really, you just don't have the guts to finish the job. You're just a coward. A pathetic little-"

The gunshot propelled Ruby forward at lightning speed. Emerald's breath hitched as Ruby disappeared before he eyes. She blinked and saw Ruby now standing behind her.

With Crescent Rose's blade resting against her throat…

"You're right," Ruby whispered. "I don't have the guts." She pulled the blade away, allowing Emerald to release the terrified breath she had been holding. "And you better pray I never do."

Ruby's fist crashed against the back of Emerald's head. The thief went down, face smacking against the dirt. She made no effort to get back up.

Ruby's knuckles throbbed slightly. A punch like that would have Yang's seal of approval. Emerald was gonna wake up with a pounding head and a bad temper. She could only imagine the verbal abuse Ruby's ears would suffer from once she regained consciousness. Interrogating her was gonna be a pain.

But she'd live.

That made her smile.

* * *

 **Well, I did it. I actually finished something. It's ridiculous that it's taken a year to finish this, but I suppose life and other projects have taken up some of my time.**

 **This has been such a fun story for me to write, but a difficult one. Because of the serious nature of it, I spent hours agonising over how the dialogue should be spoken, the length the story should be, the trials Ruby would face and, most importantly, how to end it. It's such a surreal thing to think about. This is the end of the story.**

 **I know some might feel annoyed that it's only eight chapters given the time it took me to finish this, but personally, this is as far as I can take the story. I feel like I've gotten the point across. Any more chapters would just feel like filler to me, and that's not what I want this story to be. It was always gonna be a short story, even way back when I first planned it. I'm sorry if some are annoyed, but this is the ending I'm happy with.**

 **I want to thank everyone who's waited so long for each update, as well as my friends over at Discord for all their support. All of you mean the world to me. With this finished, I can work on Burned and Exxxtra Credit again. This story will not be the only one I finish. Far from it.**

 **I don't want to make this AN overly long, so if you have any questions about my process for writing this, or if you just wanna talk in general, feel free to shoot me a PM. They're always fun to get.**

 **Once again, thank you for reading.**


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